***Bad Joke Thread***

God was walking down the beach when he stumbled upon a beautiful blond lady laying provocatively on the sand.
He lay down beside her and told her he wanted to make love, screams off plesure could be heard for miles around.
Having dressed himself he sat by the beautiful lady and told her
"In 9 months time you will have a baby boy and you shall call him Jesus"

The lady replied
"in 9 days time you will have a rash and you will call it herpes"
 
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I went to the doctor's surgery the other day and found out that my new doctor is a young female and drop-dead gorgeous. I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've
seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll check it out."

I said, "My wife thinks my **** tastes funny."
 
An old couple goes to see an attorney and say they want a divorce. The attorney looks at them for a moment and asks, "How old are you?"

The husband says, "I'm 97, she's 95."

The attorney asks, "How long have you been married?"

The wife answers, "Seventy-six years as of last November."

The attorney says, "Seventy-six years! Why do you want a divorce now?"

The husband says, "Well, we knew it wasn't gonna work out after the first two years..." and the wife breaks in and says, "but we wanted to wait until the children were dead."
 
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