***Bad Joke Thread***
- Thread starter Castiel
- Start date
Soldato
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- 7 Apr 2009
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- 7,321
- Location
- Western Seaboard
Did you here about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
He worked it out with a pencil.
Associate
- Joined
- 3 Feb 2012
- Posts
- 2,272
- Location
- Bath
/\.
Gerard, my apologies for my rather tactless post earlier.
Didn't think it through at the time- you were quite right to react to it. I've removed it now.
Once again, sorry mate!
All the best...
Soldato
- Joined
- 15 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 15,788
- Location
- Outside in the bushes
Two Sausages sizzling in a pan. One turns to the other and says
"Damn it's Blazing hot in here!"
The other replies
"Jesus Christ! A talking Sausage!"
Thank you I'm here all week!
"Damn it's Blazing hot in here!"
The other replies
"Jesus Christ! A talking Sausage!"
Thank you I'm here all week!
Soldato
- Joined
- 4 Jan 2004
- Posts
- 20,802
- Location
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Have you heard about the sheep who worked in a fish and chip shop? One was a battering ram.
Associate
- Joined
- 26 Feb 2012
- Posts
- 1,763
- Location
- Hokkaido
Patient: "Doctor, what do you think it could be?"
Doctor: "I think you've got hypercondria."
Patient: "Oh no, not that as well!"
Doctor: "I think you've got hypercondria."
Patient: "Oh no, not that as well!"
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one says to the others "Cor blimey is bloody hot in here!"
To which the other replies "You think that's bad?! Wait until you get out, they smash your ******* head in with a spoon!"
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Two cows standing in a field, one says to the other "Moooooooooooooo!"
To which the other replies, "You git, I was going to say that!"
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Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "Im gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!"
Murphy watches astonished as the Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home."
So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well and the foreman turns to him and says "Where the hell are you going?"
"I cant work in the friggin dark!" says Murphy
To which the other replies "You think that's bad?! Wait until you get out, they smash your ******* head in with a spoon!"
---------------
Two cows standing in a field, one says to the other "Moooooooooooooo!"
To which the other replies, "You git, I was going to say that!"
-----------------
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "Im gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!"
Murphy watches astonished as the Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home."
So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well and the foreman turns to him and says "Where the hell are you going?"
"I cant work in the friggin dark!" says Murphy
Soldato
- Joined
- 15 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 15,788
- Location
- Outside in the bushes
A man walks into a bar... Orders a drink and has a very nice evening indeed!
Soldato
- Joined
- 15 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 15,788
- Location
- Outside in the bushes
Two Portly chaps are sat at the bar
One turns to the other and says
"Your round"
The other replies
"And you're a fat B******!"
One turns to the other and says
"Your round"
The other replies
"And you're a fat B******!"
Associate
- Joined
- 28 May 2008
- Posts
- 346
I walked into the pub and the barman said, "Your wife looks quite ravishing tonight. Now what can I get you Bob?"
"Whatever you've been drinking, mate."
"Whatever you've been drinking, mate."
Associate
- Joined
- 7 Jan 2010
- Posts
- 886
I never let my children watch big band performances on TV.
Too much sax and violins.
Too much sax and violins.