Best one liners

XPE said:
Lord Flashheart: Always treat your kite like you treat your woman.
Lieutenant George: How do you mean, sir? You mean take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?
Lord Flashheart: No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back
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You missed out the "WOOF!"
 
Frankie Boyle again on WW2 theme -

"We've managed to crack the Germans code - turns out they were sending messages.. in German!"

+

"You've been selected for this mission, because you're unknown to the enemy and each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, The Woo Tang Clan, Usher, The Sugar Puffs Monster and Daniel Day-Lewis.... WELCOME TO OPERATION MIND ****!"
 
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Tibbs said:
Mock The Week
Cant remember which person it was but it was "Famous Last Words"

'Charles, Charles, What are you doing with that pillow Charles?'.
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Haha, I remember another from that episode from Frankie:

"I bet you I can jump that ticket barrier..."
 
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Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.


Mitch Hedberg - funny, funny guy. RIP.
 
"I will make them obey, even if i have to kill half of them"

from Mongol: The rise of Gengis Khan...

and i liked that film

and fight club

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

although im almost certain thats from somewhere else, but who cares the point is the quote
 
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"The disposal units ran night and day, we were that close to going out forever, but there was one man, who taught us to fight, to storm the wire of the camps, to smash those metal mother ******s into junk, he turned it around, he brought us back from the brink, his name was Connor, John Connor"

Terminator F.T.W


also post back F.T.W without the full stops
 
Commentator talking about the Japanese rugby team, this team aint have nippy.

Rincewind had many battle scars, mainly on his back, he could say don't kill me in many different languages.

Ford Prefect "the worlds about to end in 3 minutes"

Barman "Lucky escape for Arsenal if it does"

Again ford Prefect jumps over bar to grab some peanuts.

Barman "Oi sir you can't come over here, what do you think your doing"

Ford Prefect "I haven't got time to hang around, the worlds about to end"

Barman "Seriously, arn't we meant to put a paprbag on our heads and lay down or something"

Ford Prefect "Yes, you could do that"

Barman "Will it help?"

Ford Prefect "No"
 
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