Bit of a pickle - women trouble....

Alty

Alty

Alty

Associate
Joined
23 Oct 2004
Posts
1,884
Location
East Riding of Yorkshire
OK before anyone judges me I realise I have brought this upon myself and have no-one else to blame. My simple story is thus:

I have been seeing a lass for nearly a year and its been ok. The major downfall is that there doesnt seem to be any "spark or magic" that there has been with previous relationships. I just seemed to have fallen into a routine with this lady and it plods along ok.

My main concern is this - when I finish uni this year I will be (hopefully) working and starting a career. Now my current gf works full time in the evenings. If we do stay together and go the distance - we will realistically only see each other at night in bed as I will be working 9-5 and she will be working 5-11.

Now here comes the interesting bit... I was registered on a date site and by chance looked it up and saw that I had a fair amount of messages from ladies. One in particular lives near me and is quite attractive and being an idiot that I am replied. We get on quite well and she has expressed a strong interest in meeting up. I haven't told her I am currently seeing someone (I know - i'm an idiot!) and I just dont know what to do. She sends me pics of her from her mobby and calls me a fair bit over the last few days and luckily enough I have managed to keep this from my current gf due to her working hours.

I do not know what to do. Do I meet up with this new lass this weekend and see how things go or what???

I am not a bad person really and am no way a player but I think my main concern with my current gf is whether it will last due to the potential different working hours - is there any point being with someone that you will only see in bed each night and on sundays???

I need some advice and opinions on this matter as it's really eating me up inside and I dont know what to do.

Do I stay with the gf of nearly a year even tho there is no spark and potentially I will see less of her once i start working?

or

Do I see this new lass and see if things could develop with her?

If i dont see this new lass - how do i tell her I dont want to see her without hurting her feelings?
 
Alty said:
If i dont see this new lass - how do i tell her I dont want to see her without hurting her feelings?
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Tell her that you're already in a relationship, and you'r enot sure that you want to end it yet, which you would need to do if you guys were going to meet up?
 
ok matey yup your not a bad person. if you feel that there is no spark in your current relationship then go meet this girl what have you got to loose as long as your current gf dont find out.

if you dont want to meet this new girl all you do is phone her tell her its not a good time tell her your busy at the weekend. also try telling her that you will contact her to arrange another date soon then just dont call her easy.
 
she has told me tho that there are blokes out there already with a gf n they jus want a bit on the side with her n that she thinks they are scum! As a result I had already told her i was single!
 
to me it looks like you have lost interest in your current gf. however if you do love your gf then do something about it. talk to her not look for someone else. does she realise this?

as for the working hours, dont worry about it until it has happened
 
If I was happy in my current relationship then I wouldnt even consider meeting another lass. It's been nearly a year now and altho I have feelings for her I cannot tell her I love her as it wouldnt be the truth

**EDIT** this has been something of an issue with my current gf as she keeps asking me if I love her and from the word go i told her this - "I will not say "i love you" until i know i mean it as the word love gets used too much in todays society and it loses it meaning"
 
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Alty said:
If I was happy in my current relationship then I wouldnt even consider meeting another lass. It's been nearly a year now and altho I have feelings for her I cannot tell her I love her as it wouldnt be the truth
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see both for a while then and if she asks if you love her then JUST LIE not the best way but all i can think of
 
Alty said:
If I was happy in my current relationship then I wouldnt even consider meeting another lass. It's been nearly a year now and altho I have feelings for her I cannot tell her I love her as it wouldnt be the truth
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after a year!? :confused:

Dear boy, what are you still doing in this relationship? Finish it for both your sakes.
 
First - Slap Slap Slap.

Before I start first thing, don't cheat.

Now, yes, you have brought it on yourself, however it seems like you are guided by your little Johnson at the moment for wanting to meet that girl than anything. Lets think what are the possiblilty.

1 - You meet up and cheat - Slap !

2 - You break up with your current gf, I mean if you don't feel the spark there you shouldn't be with her really. She might be totally in love with you and plan your future together when you have no intention in doing so. Stringing a girl along like that is wrong, both to you and her.

3 - You tell this new girl that you are busy. I dunno, make up any excuse, its not like you know her that well. do what men does best, stop calling her !

Whatever you do, do not cheat. Either be a man and break up and then move on, or stay and work it out with your current gf.
 
This is indeed the quandry because I do not believe in cheating! My parents divorced and I vowed never to do it. But i just dont know what to do - stick with a relationship that is just so so or possibly start a new one where there may be a spark.
 
Raymond Lin said:
First - Slap Slap Slap.

Before I start first thing, don't cheat.

Now, yes, you have brought it on yourself, however it seems like you are guided by your little Johnson at the moment for wanting to meet that girl than anything. Lets think what are the possiblilty.

1 - You meet up and cheat - Slap !

2 - You break up with your current gf, I mean if you don't feel the spark there you shouldn't be with her really. She might be totally in love with you and plan your future together when you have no intention in doing so. Stringing a girl along like that is wrong, both to you and her.

3 - You tell this new girl that you are busy. I dunno, make up any excuse, its not like you know her that well. do what men does best, stop calling her !

Whatever you do, do not cheat. Either be a man and break up and then move on, or stay and work it out with your current gf.
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WOW go with what this guy says hes got it all right dont listen to my drivel am a whore
 
Alty said:
This is indeed the quandry because I do not believe in cheating! My parents divorced and I vowed never to do it. But i just dont know what to do - stick with a relationship that is just so so or possibly start a new one where there may be a spark.
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You sound too much like a monkey - you want to have hold of a breasticle in your right hand before you let the one in your left go. Erm, mixed metaphor but meh. :o
 
I have been **** on in the past with regards to relationships and find it very difficult to open up to someone. It was 2 years of singledom before my current gf and I became an item. Now is it a case of better the devil you know or........
 
Alty said:
**EDIT** this has been something of an issue with my current gf as she keeps asking me if I love her and from the word go i told her this - "I will not say "i love you" until i know i mean it as the word love gets used too much in todays society and it loses it meaning"
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OK, so I cheated on my ex with another girl. In my defence, there was no spark with the ex, I was just mooching along with regular sex, and when another girl came along a started seeing her and ended it straight away with the ex. 5 years down the line I married the " other girl".

I too used the quoted philosophy with my wife at the start, but it wasn't too weeks before I was blubbing " I love you " to her. emotion takes over, if you don't say it after a few weeks, I would say move on.
 
What also concerns me tho is if I stick it out with the "routine" of being with my current gf - the whole working issue is going to severly put a strain on the relationship as we will effectively hardly see each other :(
 
I too used the quoted philosophy with my wife at the start, but it wasn't too weeks before I was blubbing " I love you " to her. emotion takes over, if you don't say it after a few weeks, I would say move on.
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I have had real personal issues with opening up enough to someone to even try to say "i love you". I really dont think I could.
 
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