Bit of a pickle - women trouble....

Alty said:
I have been **** on in the past with regards to relationships and find it very difficult to open up to someone. It was 2 years of singledom before my current gf and I became an item. Now is it a case of better the devil you know or........
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me said:
You sound too much like a monkey - you want to have hold of a breasticle in your right hand before you let the one in your left go. Erm, mixed metaphor but meh.
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me said:
after a year!?

Dear boy, what are you still doing in this relationship? Finish it for both your sakes.
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Raymond Lin said:
Either be a man and break up and then move on, or ...
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If you're about to be the dumper, then how is it going to be you that is pood on?
 
It's NOT right for you to be meeting up with this new girl behind your current girlfriends back.

Everything you've said makes it pretty clear that your current relationship is not working for you. Breaking up is hard, but you need to be honest...you're in this mess because you haven't been....

It's not too late though. Take time out, and think carefully about how you feel. Also, think about how you would feel if your girl was thinking like this behind your back and not telling you.....
 
Alty said:
What also concerns me tho is if I stick it out with the "routine" of being with my current gf - the whole working issue is going to severly put a strain on the relationship as we will effectively hardly see each other :(
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I don't think that is the problem, at least not the main one. The problem is that personally from what you said. You do not love her, there is no passion there, and there never seemed to be. I think you are afraid to be single again is the reason you stuck with her, in what almost a pretense relationship.

so your options are

1 - Be brave, break up with current gf and have a go with this new potential girl.

2 - Be afraid and stay with current gf.

3 - Be a cheat, test the water out with the new girl and cheat on your current gf.
 
I know this sounds crazy but I'm glad I feel guilty about thinking about meeting up with this other woman. It tells me that there are some feelings there....
 
Alty said:
I know this sounds crazy but I'm glad I feel guilty about thinking about meeting up with this other woman. It tells me that there are some feelings there....
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Afraid that doesn't tell you you have feelings for her...only that you are a decent person....which is still good ;)
 
Hi,

First off, do you see the problem with the gf the result of the hours she and yourself work, or have you just drifted away from her and thus you perseive this as the reason behind it?

If the reason is that it's because of the hours then I say you should try and work somthing out to save/kickstart the relationship again before giving up on her.

But on the other hand maybe the fact that you even went back to the singles site suggests deep down that you know the relationship has no future. With this in mind I think you should talk to your partner before taking it any further with this other person.

Hope that helps
 
I think there have been some fair and valid points made so far - cheers guys. It's deffo food for thought.....
 
My mate uses the same site I did and I saw him last weekend. Needless to say he logged in and it was only by chance that I thought I would log into my old account to see what was going on - thats when an attractive lass takes an interest in me and I lose all coherent thought....
 
I think that you have pretty much answered the question yourself. For anyone to ever consider another person while in a relationship, things have to be going wrong. You need to make the decision if you want to stay with your girlfriend, and if not, end things sooner rather than later.
Regarding the new girl, break off contact with her. Even if you do leave your girlfriend, the last thing you want is to jump right into another relationship. You've already lied to her, and when she finds out then she won't trust you, and trust is everything.
 
My current gf has also mentioned lately that I may be close to losing her if i dont buck my ideas up a bit - EG make more of an effort. We definitely have, it seems, fallen into a steady routine or rutt, as u will and so should I risk losing out on a potential new lady only to possibly have this relationship finished shortly down the line?
 
Amleto said:
@ Alty:: you having troubles finding the edit button? :p
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I am just posting things as I think of them - If i use the edit button then there is a chance that something may be overlooked and glanced over when trying to read the new posts.
 
Why do I let myself get into these stupid bloomin situations :(

**EDIT**

RECAP

am in a relationship of nearly a year with a lass but there is no spark and in the future is the possibility of only seeing her at night in bed and on sundays.

I stupidly checked my old date site messages and an attractive lass who lives nearby has taken a real interest and wants to meet up.

:( :( :(
 
What I do when I'm unhappy with a barmaid is offer her a transfer to another pub in the company on the grounds that things aren't working out, and then I find a better model. In your situation, the only difference is you found the replacement before you passed the ball.
 
Alty said:
My current gf has also mentioned lately that I may be close to losing her if i dont buck my ideas up a bit - EG make more of an effort. We definitely have, it seems, fallen into a steady routine or rutt, as u will and so should I risk losing out on a potential new lady only to possibly have this relationship finished shortly down the line?
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Dude, you know most about the situation, Only you know how you feel. You've asked your questions, you've got your answers :/

Do you want us to give you some sort of 'law of averages' answer? ( e.g.most of the time it's best to jump and get with the new hot thang)


You should totally discount the new girl and decide:
1)STAY.
or
2)GO.
based purely on the merits of the current relationship.

Then,
1) leads to no more contact with new girl.
2) gives you an option with the new girl.


Sorry Raymond, I stole your bullet-point post style :o
 
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