Bizarre comments from your missus.

Just had two in the last few minutes as we are getting dressed to go out.

Me - "Want a chewing gum?"
Her - "Are you trying to say something?"

Also
Me - "I might just wear a coat"
Her - "Are you going to give it to me later?"
Me - "Actually I might just wear a jumper"
Her - "Are you going to give that to me later?"
Me - "Why?"
Her - "Because if it rains I will get wet."
Me - "And what about me.... :confused:
 
No1newts said:
Just had two in the last few minutes as we are getting dressed to go out.

Me - "Want a chewing gum?"
Her - "Are you trying to say something?"

Also
Me - "I might just wear a coat"
Her - "Are you going to give it to me later?"
Me - "Actually I might just wear a jumper"
Her - "Are you going to give that to me later?"
Me - "Why?"
Her - "Because if it rains I will get wet."
Me - "And what about me.... :confused:
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should have turned around and said "no your getting some thing else later" :)
 
No1newts said:
Just had two in the last few minutes as we are getting dressed to go out.

Me - "Want a chewing gum?"
Her - "Are you trying to say something?"
Click to expand...

Yup ive had this happen to me yesterday...when she said are you trying to tell me something i said yes your breath stinks...now shove this piece of gum in your gob and STFU...job done and she did as she was told:D....i did nudge her later and said you will be getting a huge surprise later on...to which she giggled like a schoolgirl...just happened to dress like one later on in the evening.

Yep i rule with an iron fist and damn its good \o/:D...still love her to bits though.
 
azuli said:
My girlfriend's pretty gullible.. I was making some Jelly one day & ate one of the cubes (as you do) only to have her run over in a panic and shout "what are you doing! spit it out!"

Turns out her Mum told her that Jelly cubes are too strong & poisonous before being diluted to stop her eating them when she was a kid.. She's believed it for 20+ years.. haha
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I actually find her moment of mad panic as you ate it more cute than stupid, she was misinformed and trusted what her mother said :p.
 
Yup, heard chocolate teapots before as well


Bloodshot said:
We were talking about birds, can't actually remember why, but she came out with the following:

Me: "Yeah, birds are strange animals."
Her: "Birds aren't animals, they're birds."
Me: "O.o No they're animals."
Her: "No birds are birds, fish are fish and animals are animals."
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I'm afraid she was absolutely right there, fish and birds belong to the kingdom of animals since they're not mushrooms or amoebas :]
 
shroomz said:
Yup, heard chocolate teapots before as well
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Here in Stoke we use as 'You're as daft as a Chocolate Teapot but would use the phrase 'You're as useless as a chocolate fireguard or chocolate fire poker'.

shroomz said:
I'm afraid she was absolutely right there, fish and birds belong to the kingdom of animals since they're not mushrooms or amoebas :]
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She said birds are birds, fish are fish and animals are animals.


Anyway, my wife never says anything daft but my youngest daughter comes out with a few.
When she was 16 she came home from school with my favourite :
Dad, I've got a problem, I can't pass my GCSE PE unless I do 2 sports
Are you having me on?
No, I need to do 2 sports
Just think about what you get up to
Dunno
Well, you actually teach skiiing at Festival Park Ski Centre, you compete in Trampolining for Fenton Manor and you compete in Horse jumping
Do they count, I thought they were hobbies
 
dmpoole said:
Here in Stoke we use as 'You're as daft as a Chocolate Teapot but would use the phrase 'You're as useless as a chocolate fireguard or chocolate fire poker'.



She said birds are birds, fish are fish and animals are animals.


Anyway, my wife never says anything daft but my youngest daughter comes out with a few.
When she was 16 she came home from school with my favourite :
Dad, I've got a problem, I can't pass my GCSE PE unless I do 2 sports
Are you having me on?
No, I need to do 2 sports
Just think about what you get up to
Dunno
Well, you actually teach skiiing at Festival Park Ski Centre, you compete in Trampolining for Fenton Manor and you compete in Horse jumping
Do they count, I thought they were hobbies
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oh. That's right. For some reason I'd read them the other way round :\

There were a lot from an ex but I can't remember anymore unfortunately :(
 
A bit off beat as it's not my missus although he and I do do a thing called 'random thought of the day...' which leaves the other saying 'eh?'

My dad told me a few years back that mum asked him how satallites stay up in space and before he could answer, as some of us do try to answer our own question with another question, 'do they fastened them to scaffolding in space?' She thought that the Earth was surrounded by scaffolding.

Believe me we bust a gut laughing so hard, awe bless mummy!!!
 
Linda said:
A bit off beat as it's not my missus although he and I do do a thing called 'random thought of the day...' which leaves the other saying 'eh?'

My dad told me a few years back that mum asked him how satallites stay up in space and before he could answer, as some of us do try to answer our own question with another question, 'do they fastened them to scaffolding in space?' She thought that the Earth was surrounded by scaffolding.

Believe me we bust a gut laughing so hard, awe bless mummy!!!
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The Dyson spere is here!? Let me get my hyperspace drive! :D
 
I was once with a girl who was absolutely convinced that human blood is blue.

me: Wha... wha... what?

her: Blood is blue in your body.

me: I've cut myself plenty over the years. Trust me, it's red.

her: It only turns red after being exposed to air.

me: Seriously?

her: It's blue. Just look... [points to veins on her wrist]

me: That's just the way it looks because your skin absorbs the red light... oh, never mind.

her: So when it touches air it coagulates and turns red.

me: That's not what coagulate means.

me: So when they draw blood from you into a vacuum tube where there is no air, what color does it come out?

her: I don't know. I've never had blood drawn.

me: Well, it comes out red. And it never touched any air.

her: There was air in there. You can never have a perfect vacuum.

me: [facepalm]


There is always the point where you just have to give up. Worse than that, with that kind of logic I can't think of a way to prove she's wrong. :/
 
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My gf had O2 broadband installed and it wasn't working, I went round to have a look, using her laptop I went start cmd and she said "Wait you need to install the CD" Me "No, really you don't" Her "But the man at O2 said we need to install it" lol
 
Raist said:
There is always the point where you just have to give up. Worse than that, with that kind of logic I can't think of a way to proves she's wrong. :/
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Been told that by more than one biology teacher, understandable she would believe them. At some point though you realise those biology teachers have a degree in PE and a PGCE ;)
 
Raist said:
I was once with a girl who was absolutely convinced that human blood is blue.

me: Wha... wha... what?

her: Blood is blue in your body.

me: I've cut myself plenty over the years. Trust me, it's red.

her: It only turns red after being exposed to air.

me: Seriously?

her: It's blue. Just look... [points to veins on her wrist]

me: That's just the way it looks because your skin absorbs the red light... oh, never mind.

her: So when it touches air it coagulates and turns red.

me: That's not what coagulate means.

me: So when they draw blood from you into a vacuum tube where there is no air, what color does it come out?

her: I don't know. I've never had blood drawn.

me: Well, it comes out red. And it never touched any air.

her: There was air in there. You can never have a perfect vacuum.

me: [facepalm]


There is always the point where you just have to give up. Worse than that, with that kind of logic I can't think of a way to prove she's wrong. :/
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I thought certain veins were blue because they carried blood which contained no oxygen.
 
Telescopi said:
Been told that by more than one biology teacher, understandable she would believe them. At some point though you realise those biology teachers have a degree in PE and a PGCE ;)
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Speaking of teachers, my old flat mate was a teacher, she was preparing a science class for primary school kids and asked me:

"remind me again...does the sun go round the earth, or the earth go round the sun?"

:eek:
 
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