Bizarre comments from your missus.

[DAnDan]

I once managed to convince my girlfriend that if you cut the skin on top of a bruise you can "pull a lump of bruise out" to get rid of it. I didn't know she had believed me untill she brought it up about a month later saying it wasn't true!

 

[Viper²]

i was once watching the c4 programme the family.

i said to my missus is the family indian or pakistani. she asked what the difference was

<That's Racist.GIF>

 

[DJMK4]

"What did you just put in my drink?"


Women ay!

 

[Destination]

I tried explaining this to a militant feminist once. That always goes down well.

sarcasm
It does rather prove the point you were making, when the dumb cow clearly couldn't comprehend what you told her, even though you were taking the timr to actually try to explain it to her.
/sarcasm

 

[Destination]

i was once watching the c4 programme the family.

i said to my missus is the family indian or pakistani. she asked what the difference was

...and you explained it was what side of an artifically created dividing line they live upon? Genetically, not a lot in it. Religiously a fair bit if you're talking population numbers, but they didn't repatriate everyone.

 

[IceBus]

Some dumb blonde Welsh girl at my uni (Nottingham): So... do you get the train home at Christmas?

I live in Belfast. Across the Irish Sea.

 

[xJcBx]

"I'm not here to make you sandwiches and tea!!"

Stupid woman.

 

[DJMK4]

Some dumb blonde Welsh girl at my uni (Nottingham): So... do you get the train home at Christmas?

I live in Belfast. Across the Irish Sea.

I hope you corrected her

 

[IceBus]

I hope you corrected her

As far as I remember I said yes, it takes a long time and they have to be careful with the electricity in the rails... and of course there's a bit where you have to hold your breath. She took a long, long time to cotton on.

 

[DJMK4]

As far as I remember I said yes, it takes a long time and they have to be careful with the electricity in the rails... and of course there's a bit where you have to hold your breath. She took a long, long time to cotton on.

lol

 

[SexyGreyFox]

i was once watching the c4 programme the family.

i said to my missus is the family indian or pakistani. she asked what the difference was

Most of Stoke On Trent don't know the difference

 

[Dave M]

...and you explained it was what side of an artifically created dividing line they live upon? Genetically, not a lot in it. Religiously a fair bit if you're talking population numbers, but they didn't repatriate everyone.

Or to summarise, they're from different countries?

 

[gambitt]

Me: (as we drive over yellow rumble strips approaching a roundabout) Do you know what these yellow lines are for?
Her: No, what?
Me: They're for blind people so they know when they're approaching a major junction
Her: Oh...
(2 mins pass)
Her: Oi, hang on!

Sounds more like she wasn't really listening to you. Is that why she's an ex?

 

[cdcopyman]

wrong hole.

 

[blueboy2001]

Her: "My aunt lives in Plymouth"
Me: "That's a long way away, take about 5 hours drive"
Her: "Plymouth is in Wales"

 

[Strax]

Passing the pencil museum in Keswick...

me: 'look, theres the pencil museum'

wife: 'whats in there?'

me 'pencils...doohhh!'

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Or to summarise, they're from different countries?

But they were one country up until 1947 (India) and then there were 2 Pakistans and then one of those became Bangladesh.

 

[Scuzi]

"So is Ireland to the left of England?"

 

[s0ck]

"Of course they are, the chickens only eat grass"

omfg creased

 

[DanTheMan]

Me: Lampard scored 4 goals in a game today.

Her: Wow, he scored a quadtrick?

I don't know whether or not that is genius or just stupid.