Bro Code - Was this against it?

Davepen

Davepen

Davepen

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Right,
Need some confirmation of whether or not this was out of order as I'm not sure if I broke 'the bro code' and need to apologise.

My friend/housemate has been into this girl for quite some time, they've been friends for years, I've known her myself for about 5 years.



He's been into her for a long time, but she isn't interested in anything more than a friendship, also she was in a relationship till about 3 months ago.

At the weekend we went out, all got a bit inebriated, as you do, ended up coming back to mine for more drinks.

Me and this girl had been flirting all night, nothing major or out of the ordinary.

Most had gone to bed except from us 3, then I also decided to hit the sack.


I went to sleep, then an hour or so later she comes into my room and gets into bed and wakes me up.

You can obviously see where this is going.


Come the morning and she gets a couple of texts off him saying he doesn't think they should be friends any more, and asking if there is something wrong with him.

Turns out that after I went to bed he tried it on with her, but she shot him down, before coming to my room. :rolleyes:

He obviously heard us at it :(

Now this girl is pretty promiscuous, he knows this, as do I.


I have been single for a while now, and no sex for 3-4 months can do crazy things to a man.


Was I a bad friend for going along with her and getting jiggy? I didn't exactly instigate it, but I didn't stop it either.


I don't want to upset the guy, he's a good friend, but what's happened has happened and I can't take it back now.


Does anyone have any ideas of how I can make it up to him? Or if I even need to?


Thanks
 
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I guess she could have been more delicate about the situation. I'd say you have done nothing wrong but he's likely to be sore about it. I'd have a chat with him and go from there.
 
Well tbh you didnt know that he had tried it on with her before she jumped into your bed...question is if you had known, would you have still ragged her senseless or not??. Thats the question there.

But on the other hand you knew your friend was into her so for that you lose man points but having been drunk as a skunk, i suppose you could be forgiven for ragging her.

Meh just apologise to the guy, take him out for a few drinks and have a laugh about it ie take the urine out of her for being such a ho:p
 
You did nothing wrong imo. The issue is between her and him, she came to you, clearly knowing what she wanted and what she was doing, and you had no idea of the situation which occurred when you went to sleep.
 
He's probably bummed because she is clearly promiscuous, but he still isn't good enough for her.
 
Bang her again but next time video the process to show your mate what he's missing or as the case may be, not missing out on to set his mind at rest.
 
You are both in breach to extents.

He should respect that if she's not keen, he would be a bit of a douche to prevent anything.

You are in breach for having constructive knowledge of the havoc this would cause. You were drunk fair play, but ultimately you should know better.

These things happen sadly, but the question is what next. I'd expect him to be very jealous and bitter - I probably would be :p
 
pfft, ive had friends sleep with girls who ive been geting into and i just pass it off.. as long as he isnt/wasnt sleeping with her whats the big deal? hes ruining your chances because hes too selfish to accept she isnt intrested in him.. tell him to suck it up.
 
It's not as if he had a chance in the first place by the sounds of it, and you only treated it as a one-nighter. Unless you're planning on going out with her and it being potentially rubbed in his face all the time, I don't see the problem. Just sit down with him and explain what happened... No real need to apologise unless you feel you've done something wrong. :confused:

He needs to get over it to be honest. He's had several years to try to make inroads so should have given up by now! I'd have thought that anyone who wanted to preserve their sanity would have given up after 3 or 4 months of trying, 6 months tops!

I suppose I'd have reservations about one of "the lads" trying it on with one of my close girl mates, purely because it'd make it socially awkward if anything went wrong between them. His relationship with her was obviously imbalanced though; she thought he was a mate, he thought she was potential gf ("one day she will fall for me" delusions).
 
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Has he said anything to you about it? Been off with you?

I don't think you need to say anything, she made it clear to him she's not interested in him.
 
Any red-blooded male wouldn't have passed up s*x quite literally on a plate.

Yeah it sucks for the friend, he'll sulk for a while but will get over it. I'd advise against getting involved with the girl though, you'll probably lose a friend because of it.
 
Nitefly said:
You are both in breach to extents.

He should respect that if she's not keen, he would be a bit of a douche to prevent anything.

You are in breach for having constructive knowledge of the havoc this would cause. You were drunk fair play, but ultimately you should know better.

These things happen sadly, but the question is what next. I'd expect him to be very jealous and bitter - I probably would be :p
Click to expand...

What this wise man said. Ok, apart from the fact he is jealous and bitter... Pansy... ;)

kd
 
Thanks for all this great input guys, this is really helping.


I don't see it as anything more than a one nighter, and I know how I'd feel if it was the other way around :(

He hasn't said anything to me about it, he's just been off with me.


I've got no interest in sparking up a relationship with this girl, but I'd hate to be the reason why they stopped being friends.


But realistically, yes, he needs to let it go with her.

Whenever they go out he is always trying to hatch some plan or hoping he'll get some pity sex, which isn't the way a friendship should be and isn't healthy.

I suppose I'm just the final straw that broke the camels back, but it sucks that it had to be me :(

Altho, on the plus side, I broke my 4 month hiatus :)
 
Women are complete and utter heartless monsters at times! Yeah she blew him out so why did she just not go home rather than getting it on with the guys mate minutes later? Women make out they are the ones with feelings and emotions and the men are the heartless ones but it's totally the other way round. They moan about men that treat women like **** and they just do the same if not worse! This "only want to be friends" bs is just so the can continue to play with your emotions and get on with their stuff.

Anyway If you were my mate I would be Angry for a while but hopefully after a while realise you did me a favour. Best thing you can do is to treat her like **** now and get her out of your life as if she did that to your mate so easily how long before she does it to you?

Btw this isn't aimed Or implied that all women are all like that just the ones that are!
 
OP, she probably only banged you to get him off her back for good I would have thought, which would be very selfish as she wouldn't care about the effect it would have on your relationship with him. Wouldn't put it past her though.
 
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