Cheating

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10 Apr 2010
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She went to her moms house yesterday afternoon and didnt think much of it, so as i knew her google password on the phone i tracked it at it showed her phone at her moms house and didnt think much of it.

You say she goes to her mothers and you think nothing of it, yet you go and track her anyway?

People don't just start tracking others after an argument 2-3 weeks ago, there has to be more to this story.
 
Associate
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Shes probably fed up of the clingyness you seem to have judging from your post,just let them do what they want, you cant keep them under lock and key for ever as mother will probably police will get involved if it escilates, just play by her game and she will see another side of you.
The probem with women is they dont want to feel trapped by someone and want there own space,yes you will see finiances change and issues will arrise,but you have to work that out for your self and be strong about it.
 
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Soldato
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I think you have to have the balls to say enough is enough and just end it.

Sort the finances out, secure access to the child, leave.

The child won't be adversely effected which is all that apparently matters in this relationship.
 
Man of Honour
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You don't trust her and probably shouldn't.

She doesn't trust you and definitely shouldn't. You're spying on her to an extent that the NSA would consider excessive.

I think your relationship is dead and has been for a while. I'd be amazed if it can be revived. I think you'd both be better off out of it. In that case, you should try to negotiate a split with as little hostility as possible. Maybe with the help of a neutral third party to help you both stay as rational as possible during the negotiations.

Either way, you two need to talk about the rotting zombie that is your marriage.



Purely as an aside, I'm curious about the 7 years she mentioned in her low-grade pidgin. It implies that whatever is going on has been going on for 7 years. Might the message have been intended for you? How long have you been married?
 
Soldato
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She obviosuly isnt sending this message on behalf of her friend as it states they are lying and hiding to see each other.

What does the 7 years mean? She has been "seeing" this guy behind your back for 7 years? :eek:
 
Caporegime
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If I caught my wife writing like that it'd be over.

//as many have said, this is done. All that remains is putting it all behind you in the most civil way possible.
 
Soldato
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Be adults about it and break up. Don't be a **** to her regardless of what's happened. She's the mother of ur kids after all and there's no point dragging it out any longer and making a fuss over what's already happened and the likes.

I was inclined to stick with this mature post but the below comment also was not sounding right..

She obviosuly isnt sending this message on behalf of her friend as it states they are lying and hiding to see each other.

What does the 7 years mean? She has been "seeing" this guy behind your back for 7 years? :eek:

Somethings been going on but we don't know the full story - more to it but I would just talk then move on.
 
Caporegime
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what ifind strange is when i was in school kids had both parents, now im back with some younger lads in college for my apprenticeship there are 3 of us i na class of 16 with both parents still together...

my parents are in their 60's though lol

It's changed in a very short space of time. The generational gap is tiny between parents staying together being the norm, and divorce rates being over 50%.
 
Soldato
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"so as i knew her google password on the phone i tracked it"

It was over from this point onwards, regardless of what she has or hasn't done.

This. Your zero trust means it was over regardless of whether she's cheated or not.

After installing software on her phone and tracking her, I'd say she's right not not trust you back. What a horrible thing to do to a partner. :confused:
 
Permabanned
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Don't really want to take sides based on the limited amount of information - I think there's a lot more to this, personally - but as others have said, if there's no longer any trust then the writing is on the wall for what is left of the relationship.
 
Soldato
Joined
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She has been cheating for a long time, she doesn't sound thrilled to be with you - your relationship has very low chances to continue to exist.
What you did with her account, tracking etc. is illegal and it will be used against you if you divorce. Cover your tracks, make sure not to reveal what you've been doing.
Your kid is your priority now, do anything you can to protect her from the storm that's coming.
 
Soldato
Joined
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Just sort it out, clearly no come back from this.

The plus side is you get away from that terrible text speak. Anyone who uses the word "fink" on ANY medium is not a keeper.

I'm pleased it wasn't just me who thought this...

Why would you want to be with somone who doesn't want to be with you, it's difficult now but you cannot waste your life on a relationship that is not working.
 
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Associate
Joined
24 Aug 2004
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105
I think we can all learn an important lesson from this. Android is superior to iphone as you wouldn't have been able to remotely retrieve her messages as easy on an iphone! :D
 
Associate
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13 Nov 2007
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OP, I don't know if you should just GTFO right now or if having a timeout (temporary separation) is of any benefit. That decision lies with you ultimately, and certainly what is best for your child will be a huge factor in whatever is to come ahead.

Trust is something that should be a given. I know, having been there before where it [seemingly] suddenly turns out that both sides aren't playing by the same rule-book. I say "seemingly" because frequently it is the case that the unassuming partner (the bloke normally?) doesn't realise things are so bad until a trigger event jolts him out of his stupor. Take your time, look at your life from the side like a passenger, remove yourself from your day-to-day for a short time if necessary. Consider the entire picture before making a choice.

Without Trust, there is no relationship. Things may be hard for a short time but ultimately you will be in a happier place - no point in her behaviour affecting you to the point where you are effectively having to spy on her to verify what she says. You are both better off without that behaviour - you more so than her.
 
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