Cheating

Unfortunately, not being married i cannot really offer much advice, all i can say is you need to have a talk with your wife, find out whats going on and like adults discuss where to go from where you are now. Maybe the relationship can be salvaged but for you to now be tracking her something must have occurred to cause you to be so worried and lose your trust for her.
Tefal said:
what i find strange is when i was in school kids had both parents, now im back with some younger lads in college for my apprenticeship there are 3 of us in a class of 16 with both parents still together...

my parents are in their 60's though lol
Click to expand...


I have noticed this as well, around 7 of my mates have either 1 parent due to divorce or have a step dad whereas only 4 of us including myself have both parents. Most of us are in our last year of school or 2nd last so 17-18. I am pretty sure all of them had 4 grandparents like i did (2 grandads, 2 grannys) so having one parent seems to be quite common recently
 
Yeah what he did in regards to tracking her may of been wrong and intrusive but in the end he saved himself a lot of unnecessarily running around and being pancaked off by this woman.


Mate I feel for you and I can understand this being extremely stressful, the best thing for you to do is leave her and make arrangements so that the kids are not affected.

I hope that she does not try to take everything from you :(
 
Last edited:
It is quite hilarious that most people in this thread have chastised OP for spying on her and yet when the GCHQ / NSA get caught with their pants down most of this forum is like "it doesn't bother me I have nothing to hide" etc. :p
 
mmj_uk said:
It is quite hilarious that most people in this thread have chastised OP for spying on her and yet when the GCHQ / NSA get caught with their pants down most of this forum is like "it doesn't bother me I have nothing to hide" etc. :p
Click to expand...

Allnamestaken said:
Exactly!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

Errm, man and wife... supposed to trust each other. NSA, never trusted, EVER, even in the slightest. Even comparing them is laughable because the issue with spying on your other half is breaking the trust, not the spying, the problem with the NSA is the spying NOT breaking the trust, they are about completely different things.

Likewise I don't want the NSA to know specifically about me, I want my other half to know about me, the information/spying isn't the issue, but the trust being broken.


Either way, people should NEVER stay together just for the kids, ever, its a terrible thing to do and exceptionally bad parenting.

Two people stay together for kids, 99% of the time that means an unhappy household, kids who know something is wrong, kids who have their parents lying and giving said kid a terrible example of a relationship. After kids move out the parents divorce, hate each other and can rarely be in the same room.

People who accept it's over, divorce before the hatred/resentment sets in are both massively happier themselves AND are happy around their kids. THey aren't setting a terrible example for their kids, often find people they enjoy being with and everyone is happier.


If she's entirely unhappy, you don't trust her, she's potentially been cheating for 7 years, wake up to what the relationship is, don't be scared to move on. The sooner you move on the better your family relationships will remain and the happier and better person your kid will turn out. Likewise eventually you'll find someone who actually wants to be with you and you'll be much happier than you are now.
 
edscdk said:
If she is cheating.... Can I have her number?
Click to expand...

Pathetic, i mean come on the guy is clearly in need of advice and came on here to get an outside opinion to try and clear his head and get some sound advice.
He clearly Cared/loved his partner a lot and this is no doubt why he did what he did in terms of tracking etc. He must have had a suspicion something wasnt right or maybe he is naturally a worrier and anxious?
What ever prompted the tracking, he was clearly right in his thoughts. I say only time will give you a clear head as to what you want from this now and what is best for the child, difficult times ahead but know that although it may not feel like it at present, in time you actually may find you feel better and happier.
 
Your wife knows she's in a position to do what she wants, as long as she carefully covers it up, or more worryingly, can feed you any story to explain what looks and smells to all intents and purposes like an affair.

Let's imagine a world where she knows you don't act like a wet lettuce (not saying you are) and will leave her the moment she breaks the terms of your contract with the state (aka 'marriage'). She will act a whole lot more respectful as it demonstrates your value yourself over and above everything else.

Trying to 'make it work' does nothing but infer to her that you feel you have more to lose if the relationship breaks down, than she does. It reduces your value to her and probably sets the scene for more infidelity down the road where she can go and get her kicks. She obviously needs something you aren't providing her which is making her do these things so the solution to this is changing the dynamics of the relationship.

Just leave her, separate, get some space, don't act like a girl and sooner or later she will come crying back to you trying to get her life back on track, and if she doesn't you have the self esteem you have gained from not desperately hanging onto something which is clearly broken.

A lot of talk of value, tactics and other 'cold' emotional reasoning, but most marriages and relationships fail these days as somewhere down the line we all forgot how simple relationships used to be, turned into a bunch of fairies, worried about our haircuts and six packs (or lack of) or how many 'romantic' trips away we had, and look what it got us. Our parents generation had none of that and those were the marriages that lasted.
 
Last edited:
She's been banging another man for seven years. You've been hacking her devices and spying on her.

I think it's fair to say the relationship has failed. Time to move on.
 
sounds abit like my relationship with my childs mother. i never tracked her, or installed anything onto her phone mind... whenever you get that feeling that something is wrong, it generally is. she was like the peter parker of spins.. she filled my head so full of **** and twisted it round upon me like it was always my fault. this sent my brain into overdrive. even when her friends were tellling me she was cheating on me, i didnt believe it. i didnt want to beleive it even after it was staring me in the face. she started arguments all the time, now i know was because she felt guilty at me too.

top and bottom of it, 3.5 years later i feel sad for her, most part because its my childs mother but it was only xmas time she was asking me to go round and visit her, thats how desperate shes become.

karma's a *****. end it now. it may seem like the end of the world now, but in time you will come to realise how you ever let it go on for so long.
you get one life, dont waste it chasing round after someone who clearly isnt bothered about you. she may care about you, but she doesnt love you. even if you do love her, the best thing you can do is let her go. let someone else have her, because once a cheat always a cheat, and in time that guy will be in your position.
 
Last edited:
2StepSteve said:
While the phone tracking is extreme, she is the one that cheated on him, remember? Amusing how upset some are getting over this.
Click to expand...

No one is om with the cheating.

But the hacking and tracking points to much deeper issues in the relationship.
 
I wouldn't want to breach the trust of my other half by hacking/tracking her phone to spy on her - if one has to do that, the trust is dead and buried as is the relationship really in my opinion.

Everything comes out in the wash anyway - if you don't trust one another there is no relationship there in the first place.

It's not going to solve your pain, and I'm sorry it's come to this.

You do need to be calm and rational and discuss where you go from here though.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 
Have you seen the film 'Predator' by any chance? There is a scene where he (the Predator) rips the persons head and spine from their body and holds it up as a trophy whilst letting out a bestial roar. I'd settle for no less in this scenario.
 
Feel sorry for you OP, from the post it does seem there is more to it but it does also appear she has been cheating on you and you have zero trust for her so I agree that it is over. Seems the best thing you can do you for yourself and you child is to end the marriage in a civil and amicable manner.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom