Cheating

rishy

rishy

rishy

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Joined
18 Nov 2007
Posts
515
Location
Wolverhampton
sorry if this does not make sense, just typing it as is

I think my wife has been cheating on me as about two/three weeks ago we had a big argument over finances and stress of my job. we talked about it and we were making a mend but over the two weeks she has been out over the weekend coming back at stupid times. She went to her moms house yesterday afternoon and didnt think much of it, so as i knew her google password on the phone i tracked it at it showed her phone at her moms house and didnt think much of it. I was to go out in the evening and she had both sets of keys for the house, tried phone her and didnt answer, i tried again nothing, called her mom, no answer, called her bother nothing. then 30 seconds later her brother calls said im trying to get in touch with my wife and he says let me try within 1 minute she is calling me , was asking what time she was comming home and said later and said i had no keys for the house just about to ask about our daughter and she hung up but i got a bit suspicious so i tracked her phone, and it was near a carpark in a city park, and was there for a very long time.

today was asking what she got up to and she said that she nothing judt down her moms and went shopping and dropped her brother off.

then later on she was using youtube and it kept saying something about her password so i said pass it her let me have a look, at the same time i installed andriodlost ( lets you see messages and calls remotely) in the evening i had a breakdown when talking to her and in so many words she said she is only with me becuase of out young daugter we talk i bit then when i went on the computer i accessed her phone and one of the message i read was this

Im really sorry XXXXXX but i cnt do this anymore we r kiddin ourselves if something is gna happen. I love u so much but i dnt c a way forward. We just go around im circles and we r hurting so many people in the interim. We r lying hidin 2 see eachother. We cnt do this. 7 years later n we r in the same position. Im sorry please dnt hate im so upset right now that i cnt bare 2 fink that u wont b in my life. Im sorry

so i confronted her and showed the message on the computer and she denied it saying i was sending this message for my friend to break up with his gf

she doesnt know that ive installed this software on her phone nor that i tracked her at the park

and now we are fighting again and dont know what to do next

she said that she doesnt trust me anymore and to have a think about what ive done
 
The problem is that if you think she's cheating you will see everything as a representation of that, even if she's innocent.
 
Cleary a toxic relationship, trust has gone completley, end this before it starts to further impact on your daughters life.
 
Ouch.

As said, once the trust is gone, sooner or later the relationship is over.

Hope you guys manage to work it all out amicably.
 
"so as i knew her google password on the phone i tracked it"

It was over from this point onwards, regardless of what she has or hasn't done.
 
Despite the woeful typography of your wife, it is difficult to misinterpret that message. Yes - she is very obviously cheating on you - that would be what her text message says. "7 years later" doesn't sound great either.

Not a good day man, I feel bad for you.
 
Kenai said:
"so as i knew her google password on the phone i tracked it"

It was over from this point onwards, regardless of what she has or hasn't done.
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Hard to believe that grown adults can't talk about any concerns they have, let alone their own wife. So instead do a relationship suicide maneuver, bizarre.
 
Honestly mate, and you aren't going to like this, but you need to detach your emotions and speak to her about it.

If it was me, I'd sit my wife down and say "ok, I am going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest to me about it, and I promise, no matter what the answer I'm not going to get mad and I'm not going fight. Do you still love me or do you love someone else?"

I love my wife but I would never want her to be with my just because of our daughter. I'd be extremely upset she had cheated on me, but, i want her and my daughter to be happy because I've been the child, I've seen what bitterness can do to people. Violence, suicide attempts and worse, messed up kids.

You have to be mature about it. Tell her you want her to be happy even if that's not with you and that you don't want her to be there just because of the daughter, imagine if she found out that information. No child wants to hear it. Tell her that if she is honest, you will work something out, that you need to do what's best for the daughter, but pretending to be happy isn't.

I know it seems that it is you doing all the giving here, and it mostly is, but ultimately, this is going to be what is best for your daughter and yourself.

People fall out of love all the time, sometimes love changes to just friendship, you shouldn't hate people because feelings change.

This is going to hurt you, it's going to hurt you a lot but ultimately, letting her go will be best :)

And apologise for snooping and stop it, but explain it was done for what you believed was the right reasons.
 
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Just sort it out, clearly no come back from this.

The plus side is you get away from that terrible text speak. Anyone who uses the word "fink" on ANY medium is not a keeper.
 
Sin_Chase said:
Just sort it out, clearly no come back from this.

The plus side is you get away from that terrible text speak. Anyone who uses the word "fink" on ANY medium is not a keeper.
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This.

I don't think I could be with anyone who would use text speak, especially in such a serious conversation :o
 
Just to be clear was the message what she had sent or received? and is the XXXXXX at the start kisses or a name (man/woman?) that you have censored? either way she has been treating you like a dog.

If the XXXXXX was just kisses and it's what she'd sent then I reckon some dude has been stringing her along for 7 years and she now wants him to choose between his partner and her. Meanwhile you've been getting the full brunt of her anger/frustrations and it doesn't sound like she cares much for you. :(
 
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Ok so she doesnt trust you and seems like you dont either otherwise you wouldnt have tracked her phone or hacked it.

Seems to me both sides have lost the trust so to speak so really best thing to do now is to sit down calmly and rationally and make a decision for the future of you, your wife and your girl.

Once the trust is gone my friend, it is gone and its near impossible to get back.

Do what is best for all 3 of you even if that includes divorcing and calling it a day, otherwise this is just going to turn toxic.

Sorry to hear of you bad times mate, chin up and all that.
 
Tracking her phone and hacking her email etc is a little excessive in my opinion and very stalker like. The relationship is dead and buried, move on.
 
Yeah when I got to the extent of considering tracking my ex I knew it was over already so broke it off with her. Once trust is gone its gone mate :(

Sit down with her and work out the most civil way to break it off.
 
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