DADS ARGHHHHHHHHHH

Must admit you really do seem worse/as bad as than your father in this. As everyone else has said MOVE OUT!!! It's your life, you get ONE, make the most of it.

Didn't have what I would class as the best father in the world but that’s life. Until you’re in his situation (disabled with 3 sons) you really can't judge how to live his life. Most of the things you have listed are insignificant about his traits, I'm sure there’s a million and one things you do which is much more annoying to him. (I would say sitting in his chair is far worse than him "wiggling" his feet) You know his rules, live by them or move out.

Sooner you realise "Life’s Not Fair" and start doing something about it the better. Why not go to uni and learn a little bit more about this so called inderpendant life people have.
 
Aruffell said:
Can you please elaborate on the spoilt brat bit please?
As spoilt brat is someone who doesn't appreciate what he has, and takes liberties with it. The poorest of families could raise a spoilt brat, because doesn't have to be about possessions.

You're coming across like this because you have a lot that many others dont, and you're showing no appreciation or respect for it. An no, I'm not talking about your projector or TV.
 
Regarding the key issue. Take it with you when you go out. It's not hard

I would not want to leave my doors unlocked if I am asleep at night.

Perhaps the thief might like your projector.
 
Cueball said:
Rule #2 in life: repsect is earnt, not given.
I agree. Why, therefore, do you think that Andy should respect his father, given that by all accounts he sounds like a complete tool?

That said, though, I went through a similar thing with my father. He still has his flaws now (and I'm sure I have mine) but as you get older it gets easier to accept them of each other - I agree with VIRII where he says that this is a natural change in the relationship with your father, which most guys will go through. It's preparing both of you to be able to accept your moving out more easily.
 
I spent 16 years of my life living with my violent, alcoholic father (I left home at 16), if the height of his reactions were to ask me to get out of his chair, wiggle his feet, not let me put a shelf up or tell me it was his house then I'd have had a cracking childhood, and despite everything I don't consider him a **** (whatever **** is supposed to mean ;)). I'm thinking the problem is with the OP, not the father and that he should learn to show a little respect.
 
Aruffell said:
I pay rent so i think i'm entitled to some say.

I'm really not too interested in getting involved in this even though I could give you my opinion.

This matter however is something different. Paying rent doesn't entitle you to make changes to a house. If you moved out into somewhere else and paid rent to a landlord you'd have to (normally) get permission to make changes to the house (such as decorating or putting shelving up) and they're perfectly entitled to say no. Rent gives you the ability to live in the house, not to make physical changes to it, this is part of the world we live in so really, let it go.
 
1. Chucking a remote at your Dad is not on. If I had done that to mine he'd have kicked me out if my brother hadn't knocked me out first.

2. It's his house. You could pay for everything and it doesn't change the fact it's his house. You have no right to demand shelves, a chair, the door be left open etc.

3. I always have my keys on me, as well as my phone and wallet. It's a good habit, try and learn it.

4. Your mum is her own person. Staying in an environment that makes you so angry you chuck stuff at family members is not a healthy place to be. Don't stay there to 'protect' your mum. She was ok before you were 'protecting' her, she'll be fine after. She certainly won't be happy you and your Dad keep tearing lumps out of each other because you're 'protecting' her.

5. If you want your own space, again, move out.

6. Try having a dialogue with your Dad about things that bug you, rather than presuming evrything that he does that irritates you is done on purpose. Calm and rational discussion can work wonders.

7. Respect him, he's your Dad for Christ's sake. If you show him some respect he might start to show more for you, especially if you act your age.


I don't know the ins and outs of the situation and all the nuances that may justify how angry you are but I would seriously suggest taking a step back and calming down. When people get into a habit of fighting then the tiniest of things can set off bickering. If you can avoid the little things it'll all fall into place.

Good luck whatever you decide to do. :)
 
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Street said:
I think I must be one of them, my missus is constantly whinging at me for wobbling my feet at night!

Hello fellow sufferer :( :D

Aruffell - Talk it through with him. They've managed to bring you up and provide for you until now (and are still doing so by the sounds of it) so they both deserve respect.

Seriously. Sit down and talk. You may end up regretting it if you don't.

agw_01 said:
I forgot everyone has such wonderful perfect families who never fight or bicker or anything :rolleyes:

Try not to forget that some of us are actually parents too, and have been there and done that.

We're not all angst ridden hard done by teenagers complaining about not being allowed locks on their doors on here :rolleyes:
 
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Aruffell said:
IT's official, i hate, loathe, detest my so called father.

I know a lot of people say things in the heat of the moment, but my father is the biggest **** alive.

I know that people go through life and there are some people that they just don't get on with.

Mine would be my father :mad:

I have freeview in my room and a big projector so i hardly watch TV downstairs.

My mum and him went to the pub for dinner and got in 10 minutes ago.

Since they went out, i thought i might as well watch a bit of teleport replay downstairs, then he walks in and tells me to sit on the seatee instead of the chair (his chair apparantly)

I'm needled at this but he does it all of the time, so i move, then he sits there and starts wriggling his feet around which i detest as it's right in the view of the tv, so i ask him to stop.

I get back "it's my house and i'll do what i want"

I then throw the remote at him and hurl lots of abuse at him.

Last week i wasn't even allowed to put a shelf up in my room because it's not "my" room, but his.

He's never been there as a dad, never went to parents evenings, never showed any interest in me or my 2 brothers lives.

He's drove 1 son away, and me and my other brother both think he's a swedish banker.

I'm sorry for the rant but i just need to vent.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(

Andy

Wow nice kid you are, if you were my son id have beaten the living crap outta you. FFS hes your dad and its his right to be a bit of an idiot towards you.
Grow up and stop acting like a child that has had all their toys thrown out of the pram.
 
I completely sympathise. I lived at home with my parent's until I was 46, and I wasn't even allowed a lock on my door ffs and my dad rilly ******d me off and it did my nut n stuff n one day he started whistling and coughed n it was well nasty and i hate him i hate him i hate him yeah right so i like totally flipped out and stabbed him in the eyeballs which learned him right proper so now i just live with my mum and she knows what's good for her and don't talk out of line or i'll do her i will and she lets me eat icecream before bed and from the tub as well but i still think she needs to be taught a lesson.





The OP. What a tremendous panam coffee, a berkshire hunt of monumental proportions, a walking, talking lower colonic egress.

You, Sir, are a dancing cow.

smilie_cow.gif
 
Borris said:
I completely sympathise. I lived at home with my parent's until I was 46, and I wasn't even allowed a lock on my door ffs and my dad rilly ******d me off and it did my nut n stuff n one day he started whistling and coughed n it was well nasty and i hate him i hate him i hate him yeah right so i like totally flipped out and stabbed him in the eyeballs which learned him right proper so now i just live with my mum and she knows what's good for her and don't talk out of line or i'll do her i will and she lets me eat icecream before bed and from the tub as well but i still think she needs to be taught a lesson.





The OP. What a tremendous panam coffee, a berkshire hunt of monumental proportions, a walking, talking lower colonic egress.

You, Sir, are a dancing cow.

smilie_cow.gif

Congratulations, you've raised my first laugh of the day :D
 
ok let me get this right, you threw the remote at your dad and hurled abuse at him because he sat on his sofa and wriggled his toes :s????

sounds harsh to me
 
Gilly said:
I'm with Daz. You flipped out because he wiggled his feet?

You have issues.


definitely. okay, you dont like your dad but you should learn some patience, respect and tolerence.
 
It seems to me that everyone is picking on the one thing that he appears to have done wrong, and more or less ignoring the fact that his dad is behaving, well, not quite like a dad 'should'.

Living in the same house, there should be a compromise over things. Not, "its his house his rules", but everyone is living there, as a FAMILY, not a bunch of strangers ffs.
 
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