Dead end relationship

PiKe · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:01

Anyone else in one? I feel like I'm just making do, I'm not really happy... I know I should break it off but I keep feeling sorry for her and can't.

I don't think I'd be any more/less happy being single.

I'm not the only one with this problem surely?

LordSplodge · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:02

Talk it through first. If that doesn't work out you'll need to man up and just accept that it is going to cause some pain for both of you and end it.

Haggisman · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:02

End it, it's more unfair to her to keep it going.

Oxide™ · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:03

what if she feels the same way?

riddler · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:05

PiKe said:
Anyone else in one? I feel like I'm just making do, I'm not really happy... I know I should break it off but I keep feeling sorry for her and can't.

I don't think I'd be any more/less happy being single.

I'm not the only one with this problem surely?

If you're not happy now then end it, any particular reason that you're not happy? Give us some details before you quite possibly make the worst decision of your life!

Nitefly · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:06

Have you spoken to her about how you feel or your concerns? If not, do this as soon as possible because it can take a huge weight off your chest and go a long way to making things work again.

How much time do you spend with her? If you see her more than once a week, there might be the opportunity to make amends. Post the aforementioned talk, do you still feel doubts when you see her? If so, can you see things getting better? If you can't it really is time to move on, for both your sakes.

PiKe · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:07

Nitefly said:
Have you spoken to her about how you feel or your concerns? If not, do this as soon as possible because it can take a huge weight off your chest and go a long way to making things work again.

How much time do you spend with her? If you see her more than once a week, there might be the opportunity to make amends. Post the aforementioned talk, do you still feel doubts when you see her? If so, can you see things getting better? If you can't it really is time to move on, for both your sakes.

Couple of times a week, there's no 'longing' or 'want' to see her, it's just mundane and boring.

Abraham · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:07

been there a few times, once you've reached that thought you either need to decide to end it or decide to make a drastic change.

riddler · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:08

Abraham said:
been there a few times, once you've reached that thought you either need to decide to end it or decide to make a drastic change.

Nail on the head.

mac1st3 · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:09

been there, done that, dragged it out for a few months, made it even worse when I told her I'd been doubting the relationship for a while, she felt I'd just been using her etc.
Hated myself for doing it to her, and haven't spoken to her since.

Talk to her and find out where she is, if there's any chance of carrying on, try it, but let her know what's going on so she doesn't think it comes out of the blue one day when you say "I'm not happy, goodbye"

antijoke · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:10

Angry Dragon, then end relationship. Alpha way to do it.

tisonlyme · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:10

There's no point being unhappy or just making do. Have a talk with her and express how you feel, she might be feeling the same. In any case, I wouldn't want to be with someone I'm not 100% happy with and likewise I wouldn't want someone to be with me just for the sake of it. It might be a blessing for both of you, or you might be able to work it out and make things better, you never know. Just talk

PiKe · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:11

mac1st3 said:
been there, done that, dragged it out for a few months, made it even worse when I told her I'd been doubting the relationship for a while, she felt I'd just been using her etc.
Hated myself for doing it to her, and haven't spoken to her since.

Talk to her and find out where she is, if there's any chance of carrying on, try it, but let her know what's going on so she doesn't think it comes out of the blue one day when you say "I'm not happy, goodbye"

I've talked to her before but I don't think she can let go, this isn't the first time the thoughts crossed my mind though, I think maybe half a dozen times so far.

Sharlaw · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:12

Nothing changes if nothing changes my friend.

ThuggedOut · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:12

I agree with Malc - smashing of the pasty is in order!

SoundsGood · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:13

test

test678

Mat · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:13

Email her dad and see what he thinks.

Abraham · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:15

Mat said:
Email her dad and see what he thinks.

Ask permission to break up with her maybe?

rainbow6six · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:15

I was like you, when you say you feel sorry for her. We'd argue, I'd say i'm not happy and say I want out, she'd cry, i feel sorry for her and WHAM; we're still together....... just end it man, you'll both be better off............

Oh, and smash her pasty, you'd be a fool not too one last time.

mac1st3 · 23 Sep 2009 at 11:16

PiKe said:
I've talked to her before but I don't think she can let go, this isn't the first time the thoughts crossed my mind though, I think maybe half a dozen times so far.

UGGGHHH I had one of those too :/ though mine made me feel trapped by (after only a month and a half) telling me she was ready to marry and spend our lives together @.@

Didn't help that any time she wanted her pasty smashed I'd oblige with weak will power and she'd see it as a sign of wanting more :/