Dead end relationship

Lysander said:
This seems to be the same situation as me. Overall a great first three years, but the fourth was just full of confusion, messy and pressured.
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Often it's because people expect you to move on with the relationship - settle down, get married and kids.. in the end it's never the right time and the only thing that you can say for certain is that what you want (big picture) and if you want her to be the one at the centre of it.

I know one couple that had been together for 15 years. She was convinced she didn't want kids and then one saturday they were having breakfast in bed and she says to him - "I want kids". He says "I want kids but not with you". They'd just moved into a new house too..
Three years on, she's happily married to a new guy and has had her first child. He's in the States now.

Another couple had been together for 9 years. The difference from the first is that there was a vibe between them. She wanted him to ask her to marry him but he didn't so she took it into her own hands and got pregnant. They got married and they're extremely happy with two kids now.

I know another couple where the guy had to lay it out plain and simple to the girl that if she wanted to be with him that she had to grow up and stop searching for other guys and start building something together. They're now happily married and have a daughter.

So it all boils down to understanding what you want (including if it's her you want) and communication then acting on it.
 
AHarvey said:
rofl, not from what i've been told, its a special 'extra'.

Thing is I now know far more than I would like to about it. he even phoned me one night to see if i'd phone the place she was working at to see if she was actually there.

So, in front of my wife-to-be I have to phone this industrial unit and ask "what girls are on tonight?" :D She found it highly amusing!



I've been telling him to grow some nuts and move on for quite some time!!
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Haha bet your lady was wetting herself, watching you nervously ask ;) least it'll help her know you're too timid to do it for yourself ;) hehe love it

PiKe said:
She knows I've lost the love for her.
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And she still wants to drag things along? then to me it seems like she just wants someone/anyone, doesn't want anyone new because she doesn't want to go through another couple of years getting to know someone new etc.
 
NickK said:
Often it's because people expect you to move on with the relationship - settle down, get married and kids.. in the end it's never the right time and the only thing that you can say for certain is that what you want (big picture) and if you want her to be the one at the centre of it.

I know one couple that had been together for 15 years. She was convinced she didn't want kids and then one saturday they were having breakfast in bed and she says to him - "I want kids". He says "I want kids but not with you". They'd just moved into a new house too..
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This rings truest with me. I think my ex will be a wonderful mother, but I don't think I'd want her to be the mother of my kids [if I even have any - which is up for debate]. She has a very spiteful and vindictive side to her which is horrific to witness and be at the receiving end of, and she is also highly controlling. I don't think I'd want to be in that marriage because I can just see her taking the reins and sapping my life-force.
 
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SoundsGood said:
Seriously end it before she traps you with a baby.
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Which happened to another friend of mine.

He was 25 she was 18. He had unprotected sex with anything that moved and they split up and got back together more often than the wind changed.

He comes in to work one day and says "C has been told that she should take a break from the pill for a while, doctor says its beneficial"

I laughed, said it was rubbish and she was trying to trap him as a last resort. asked if he would start using protection he said NO! :confused:

2 months later "Guess what, C is pregnant!"

shock horror, 3 years on and they haven't been together since the kid was born. He has had to sell his new civic type R because he is struggling to afford the kid.

Hopefully, these stories can help the OP see its time to be a man, step up, do the right thing and end it before it all goes pear shaped (or worse, pregnant shaped :) )

kevmeister said:
how about a compromise.... End it WHILST smashing her pasty, then see how long he can hang on... :D
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I hate that saying, and it always makes me wonder if people that use actually have a girlfriend, or in fact, ever had one!
 
Yuuuup, I've been the coward and not ended a relationship until it's dragged on rather too long already.

Just break it off, you'll feel better and you'll free the girl to find some real happiness with someone else.

If you want to remain friends, do, but agree to a fortnight's non-contact for a cooling off period. I kept talking to one of my ex's right after we split but we kept getting upset and going round in circles wondering if we shouldn't split after all. Agreed to a 2-week silence between us.

After a week we couldn't take it any more and both of us messaged the other saying that we thought it was the right thing after all. We're still in contact and matey now, but not geographically close, so I've not actually seen him in person since but we've chatted plenty.
 
Well if there's any doubt in your mind...you could always suggest taking a break for a month...in this time you'll either grow apart or realise you miss her... might make the breaking up easier.

Although if you know there's no chance, then don't prolong it and just tell her straight.
 
Lucero said:
You:
"hi, I think this relationship is not really going anywhere. Perhaps it's just me but I can't keep hurting you by carrying on this facade"

Her:
"no, no, please don't leave me. I'll be a complete mess without you. We just need to inject some spice in to our relationship. I don't know how i'll cope without seeing your gorgeous face every day"

You:
"Ok ok, chill, I'm sure we can work this out"

Her:
"Really?? I'd really like that"

You:
"No, now get lost EGG FACE!"
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Haha the classic makes a return!
 
I Love the way sayings get brought on in this place. :cool:

So to summarise for the late readers.

Obliterate her pasty from orbit & during the obliteration tell her you love her. When she says "Really"
Laugh in her face saying "No eggface you are Sacked" :D

My compliments to Lucero & Knubje. :cool:
 
malc30 said:
I Love the way sayings get brought on in this place. :cool:

So to summarise for the late readers.

Obliterate her pasty from orbit & during the obliteration tell her you love her. When she says "Really"
Laugh in her face saying "No eggface you are Sacked" :D

My compliments to Lucero & Knubje. :cool:
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lmao
 
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