I think that's rubbish. If it's not working it's not working and he should divorce if he wants to, providing he has exhausting other alternatives such as marriage counselling. A divorce doesn't mean you automatically fail at your responsibilities of being a father.[TW]Fox;20756302 said:
DELETED_5350
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In situations like this I've always felt that it's better for the parents to be split up, but happy and be able to give the child a good environment to grow up in, rather than together but constantly fighting - because the endless fighting is going to be a lot more harmful for the child than their parents not living together.
Of course the ideal outcome would be that you are happy together, but life is rarely ideal, and you're the only one who can decide if that's a possibility.
It's entirely possible you're feeling like this because you are exhausted and simply don't have the energy to "make the effort" - you also don't have any time for yourself. I know the feeling all too well!
Talk to her about getting a part time job, because this will give her some time out of the house, and give you some time to rest and time to yourself/with your son. I know you've said you've tried, but maybe explain how it will benefit her as a person (confidence, meeting people/making friends, some freedom, etc) rather than the financial side of it?
Of course the ideal outcome would be that you are happy together, but life is rarely ideal, and you're the only one who can decide if that's a possibility.
It's entirely possible you're feeling like this because you are exhausted and simply don't have the energy to "make the effort" - you also don't have any time for yourself. I know the feeling all too well!
Talk to her about getting a part time job, because this will give her some time out of the house, and give you some time to rest and time to yourself/with your son. I know you've said you've tried, but maybe explain how it will benefit her as a person (confidence, meeting people/making friends, some freedom, etc) rather than the financial side of it?
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![[TW]Fox](/data/man-of-honor/2009.png){kind=avatar}
That's society these days, me me me its not working let's just give up.
Creating another jobless single mother because he is bored/wants something else cannot be the right decision. She knows nothing but him.
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A child can become a perfectly normal adult without his father living in the same household.
Whilst it wasn't a great idea to get her knocked up at 17, I'm one of the few who believe that this shouldn't result in you being unhappy for the rest of your life. (Note: generalisation, this isn't in regards to OP before people jump on the bandwagon).
Marriages break down, it happens.
But don't go taking any advice from us strangers, these are our opinions only.
Whilst it wasn't a great idea to get her knocked up at 17, I'm one of the few who believe that this shouldn't result in you being unhappy for the rest of your life. (Note: generalisation, this isn't in regards to OP before people jump on the bandwagon).
Marriages break down, it happens.
But don't go taking any advice from us strangers, these are our opinions only.
[TW]Fox;20756302 said:
Not really, it takes two people to make a baby. The baby changed both their lives.
A child does not have to be brought up in a stereotypical "family" environment for it to be happy and prosper. The parents can still fulfill and surpass their parental duties whilst not living together. It's about what's best for the child, and in some cases, that can be for the parents to separate.
Soldato
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Going from what the OP said he has not done EVERYTHING you can to make things work.
There is nothing wrong with that.
It isn't a case of the sensationalist selfish comments people are pointing out as petty excuses to end a relationship, the fact is, things break down for reasons beyond those of what may be childish.
I know, he still has other options and I don't think he should dive into a separation.
any girl at 17 who thinks she wants a baby is wrong. they usually admit this in their late 20's/early 30's when it's all gone **** up but they 'wouldn't change things for the world' and they can now live their life through them and go out partying again now the child is old enough to look after themselves.
harsh but true, in 99% of cases.
As so many people bail these days its no longer taboo to run from your mistakes I guess. How is she going to provide for the kid on her own having never had a job because boyfriend got fed up?
IMHO when you have a child it closes the chapter of your life where you can bounce between partners looking out for number one, at least until its grown up.
Since there's a child involved I reckon you should at least try relationship counselling. Even if you're not sure about it now, it doesn't sound like you're really communicating with each other particularly well (or one or both of you aren't listening).
Try Relate (www.relate.org.uk). Payment is based on self-declared income so it's not necessarily prohibitive which might be a concern on one income.
It might not end up 'saving' this relationship... but even if it doesn't, you'll probably learn something.
Try Relate (www.relate.org.uk). Payment is based on self-declared income so it's not necessarily prohibitive which might be a concern on one income.
It might not end up 'saving' this relationship... but even if it doesn't, you'll probably learn something.
[TW]Fox;20756491 said:
It's called benefits, I have a friend who is a single mum, she gets £1,500 a month to live on because she's "disabled" apparently, my theory is, she spent so much time on her back (with her legs in the air) at college that she gets back pain a lot now lol
Lol, paying someone to tell you how it fix things or if you're male, how it's all your fault and your wife, who sits at home with the kids all day needs more support lol. I have friends who would do that for me for a pint lol
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Actually, my mistake shes 22
lol
These three sections read as if you've already made up your mind and you're simply looking for validation to support your choice. I suspect that random comments from people on an internet chat forum aren't going to influence your decisions in any manner. Having been on the other side of all this - my wife walked out on me and came up with loads of increasing desperate and illogical reasons to support her decision - I can only say that you don't realise the full impact of what you're moving towards. It affects everyone and wide radically change your life. If you're already "moody" then I hope it's a more posiitve experience for you than it has been for either my (ex)wife or I.
Good luck to your son.
Associate
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The key thing I see from the OP is that you have/do suffer with depression...?
If you have not, go and see your doctor and get help, seriously aside from the other things you have said about your relationship, if you are suffering from depression everything seems like a struggle, and it really shouldn't be. It's one thing to try and cope with life etc but coping with it with this condition makes it way harder.
What I'm trying to say is deal with one thing at a time and get your head clear, it's a long road but it's worth the journey.
CB
If you have not, go and see your doctor and get help, seriously aside from the other things you have said about your relationship, if you are suffering from depression everything seems like a struggle, and it really shouldn't be. It's one thing to try and cope with life etc but coping with it with this condition makes it way harder.
What I'm trying to say is deal with one thing at a time and get your head clear, it's a long road but it's worth the journey.
CB