Depression

[Jumpingmedic]

I was wrongly diagnosed with depression about 8 years ago when I was 16. I say wrongy, but it seemed to fit at the time. I would go into these really dark moods where I was obsessed by my own misery. Everyone and everything seemed either pointless or irritating. Far worse than the bad mood kind of feeling that everyone gets from time to time. What drew the attention of doctors was that I had started self harming and it was growing out of control. The description of these "dark moods" quickly led to a diagnosis of depression and lots of little tablets.

The medication did nothing for me even though I took it correctly for over a year and my condition got worse slowly. I left school and basically hid in my room, watching TV and using the computer, my parents didnt know what to do and left me to it, even though I was by then 20 years old and not working or in education. I became an alcoholic unsurprisingly which only amplified the problems and finally I found myself slipping in and out of delusions and having intermittant hallucinations. Shortly after that I was sectioned. That was about 2 years ago and thats why I havn't posted here much since then lol, lousy net facilities in psych wards these days.


I have now been diagnosed correctly (I hope) with borderline personality disorder, which essentially has to do with mood and emotional instability. It explains why I could be seriousl depressed one day and then hyperactive the next. Or why I could switch from loving someone to hating them in 3 seconds flat.

Needless to say it's a pain in the neck to live with because it tends to make me push away anyone who tries to help. Worse still there is no medication for it at all, the only real treatment lies in intense psychotherapy. Something I thought I was going to get till this bloody government killed one of the 3 remaining specialist units for personality disorders left in the country: The Henderson. I was there for several months and it really did seem to be working, but we were tursed out too early for me to say.


Im now at a kinda of supported housing project where I lead a semi-independent life, and Im hoping to move on eventually. Mental illness can be cured or at least treated given time and support and medication for some illnesses. It's not a quick process. It's taken me 8 years to get here. 8 years where I've done virtually nothing useful for myself or society. To boot I now have an alcohol addiction to overcome and hundereds of highly disfiguring scars to show for it. More work and money needs to go into early diagnosis to stop this happening to more kids.

 

[platypus]

If you think you have a problem see your GP, if you let it get worse you'll regret it, trust me.

Not that easy though. You can't really go into a GPs office and say, "Hi, I'm depressed".

And I'm not angry, although that seems to be a common thing with depression; But I sure as hell am depressed.

 

[Cob]

I was diagnosed with depression about 5 years ago. I had gone from something of a party animal to someone that prefered not to leave the house unless it was to go to work or buy some ciggies. Sitting in on St Paddys night was the final straw and went and seen my doc. He put me on Prozac and they really did help. Came off them after about a year and was grand up until the end of last year.

Then it came back, worse than before. I started missing work and having panic attacks for little-to-no reason. Went back on the Prozac and took the first 3 months of the year off work. Wasn't feelin too bad and went back to work, but only lasted 3 months.

I've now been off work since the middle of June, I'm on a double dose of Prozac and a dose of half-Inderal (beta-blockers). Work have offered me a medical redundancy, and I'm going to accept their offer on Friday morning.

The lease on my apartment runs out next week, so I'm going to take the opportunity to make a fresh start, moving back nearer home. I'm 30 next year, and should be on my way to getting married and starting a family, not spending most of my time in bed, hiding from the world.

 

[etom]

yeah can highly recommend martial arts, would try a few if possible as the teachers can range completely from very bad and just doing it for a bit of spare cash/ beer money in the evenings to great guys who live for martial arts. It really gives peace of mind and also confidence.

 

[Cob]

Not that easy though. You can't really go into a GPs office and say, "Hi, I'm depressed".

And I'm not angry, although that seems to be a common thing with depression; But I sure as hell am depressed.

Go and explain your situation to your doc. They've seen it all before and will be able to offer some help.

 

[philstanbridge]

Yes. Suffered with badly when I was in my early twenties to an extreme point. I didn't have it diagnosed for years however. I went through my twenties wondering if everyone else felt the same way. Missed years out of my life because of it

Medication can help to a degree but I found exercise was the best drug!

Life circumstances changed and this has helped although I still have bad episodes.

Edit, I am no longer on medication as I found the side effects almost as intolerable as the depression. However I am now a much stronger person as a result of dealing with it. Only people who have been through the same thing can understand what I mean by that.

 

[Dr.EM]

So, theres a pretty good likelyhood I have it but what good would having it diagnosed do? According to most the medication isn't helpful and I'd certainly be cautious about taking it. I would say in my case it is situation related and started since leaving college (2 years ago now I guess). Always there from that point but in varying degrees.

 

[platypus]

Go and explain your situation to your doc. They've seen it all before and will be able to offer some help.

I cannot legitimately rationalise going into my GPs office and saying that.

Which is why I haven't, and why I won't.

 

[Cob]

So, theres a pretty good likelyhood I have it but what good would having it diagnosed do? According to most the medication isn't helpful and I'd certainly be cautious about taking it. I would say in my case it is situation related and started since leaving college (2 years ago now I guess). Always there from that point but in varying degrees.

I've found the medication to be quite helpful, certainly in the early days. You'd probably initially be put on a small dose of Prozac, and it's probably the easiest to handle.

But you have to make an effort yourself to get up and about. But finding the motivation to do so is the hardest part.

 

[Cob]

I cannot legitimately rationalise going into my GPs office and saying that.

Which is why I haven't, and why I won't.

Why not?

I wasted a lot of time believing that my doc would laugh me out of his office, telling me that it's all in my mind.

But the doc can offer solutions (whether it be meds, exercise, counciling or whatever) that help to get your mind back into shape.

It's usually a physical problem - your body isn't producing enough serotonin to keep you happy, and meds and exercise can cure the issue.


You have to do something about it, because it's not going to fix itself.

 

[p4radox]

I was suffering this time last year. I was never diagnosed, but I'm 100% sure that it was depression.

My moods were constantly flipping to extremes of happiness to extremes of sadness. I had seriously high levels of anxiety about anything and everything, and had a couple of episodes which I'm pretty sure would be classed as panic attacks. Completely uncontrollable panic is seriously the most scary thing I've ever experienced.

I got through it with a bit of persistence and loads of physical exercise. Knowing that some people have it much worse than I did is a pretty harrowing thought, as I can't imagine feeling worse than I did at a couple of points. Mental illness is not funny, and it's not at all easy to deal with. And it's also completely misunderstood by the general public.

 

[Deleted member 77746]

By golly, there seems to be a lot of depressed people on this forum. I guess been on the forums makes you not depressed? Maybe this is the ultimate tablet for depressed people????

I never have been diagnosed with depression but I like to keep myself to myself and concern nobody else within my actions. Sometimes I say to myself 'nah' I ain't depressed but sometimes I have a bad day and go off on one. Trying to be strong about it though and make sure I don't take crap to people or give people the wrong impression about me.

I would never know how it feels as how does one tell if they are becoming depressed?

 

[platypus]

Why not?

I wasted a lot of time believing that my doc would laugh me out of his office, telling me that it's all in my mind.

But the doc can offer solutions (whether it be meds, exercise, counciling or whatever) that help to get your mind back into shape.

It's usually a physical problem - your body isn't producing enough serotonin to keep you happy, and meds and exercise can cure the issue.


You have to do something about it, because it's not going to fix itself.

Because I'd feel ridiculous.

And it's something I can live with.

 

[Jimbu]

I would never know how it feels as how does one tell if they are becoming depressed?

When you've hit the wall in a marathon or have a nasty cold/ flu and feel absoultely crap, and dont feel like going out, want to sleep or cba to do anything etc. That is a taste of depression.

The majority of the time your only prescribed anti depressants as a precautionairy measure its only when they begin to increase the dosage that it is seen as something that is progressing.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

I guess this is one of the advantages of internet forums, it's a slightly more anonymous and therefore easier way to kind of write about these things. Keep going lads

I'm not anonymous, anybody can find me with one click.
However, I don't mind talking about my experiences good or bad and I'm very fortunate that I experienced what I did and hopefully I'll never go back there since it was self inflicted.
I'd like to add that some people have clinical depression which can be very hard to cure.

I found the above quote extremely amusing, since for most people Robert Kilroy-Silk has entirely the opposite effect.

So I believe but it was the only time I've seen him on TV and that day was a revelation.
Of course I have seen his face but not in anything I watch.

Secondly, wtf does your signature mean? are you referring in any way to OcUK member [TW]Fox (I think that's his name)?

I have to be very careful what I post on here because some posters like to tear me apart even when my posts are innocent.
The other day I started a thread about 'Completely useless things' and 3 posters decided to attack me because my job.
I like to talk about experiences good or bad and everybody who knows me in real life know I don't boast.
I've never attacked anybody on here for their experiences because I like to read them.
Me on the other hand, I can't get away with it.

PLEASE DON'T REPLY TO THIS BECAUSE THE THREAD WILL GO OFF TOPIC.

 

[Wiggins]

There is a forum I did frequent on a regular basis when I was in the darkest part of my troubled metal anguish. Plenty of people with similar problems and it does not all revolve around Seroxat.

Seroxatmad

Hope it doesnt break forum rules as it is not a competitor.

 

[Secret_Window]

Shocking how common depression actually is isn't it? A lot of people say that some doctors are mis-diagnosing patients but I also firmly believe more people are seeking help as the help is there more than ever. I really don't believe in some of the cruddy media articles you see kicking around stating that being depressed has become fashionable and anti-depressants don't do anything, I find that really very ignorant.

As a person who also suffers from anxiety and depression for 7 or so years, I can safely say that I am glad there is support and information out there for tackling this illness. A combination of cognitive therapy and anti-depressants made the biggest progression for me in my anxiety and depression than just the congnitive therapy or just the anti-depressants on their own. I think this is some of the biggest mistakes that are made in treating these illnesses (just doing one and not the other). I remember reading some statistics a year back where it showed those that did both therapy and medication were less likely to relapse than those just on medication or just doing therapy.

I will agree that anti-depresants are not always the ideal solution to the problem, I personally hate taking medication. I've been on 5 different anti-depressants over the years all of which gave me my fair share of side-efffects. I actually came off them for a long time at one point by gradually reducing the dose because I was fed up of the side-effects (and though I was better) but in doing so, I immediately relapsed (also partly because I stopped my therapy as well) - and so was concluded that I just simply wasn't ready come off because more work was needed. I am doing much better now however.

It's not an easy road to go down with tackling these illnesses, but now there is more help than ever so if you are suffering don't suffer in silence because there are people out there to help you.

I hope everyone is doing ok, and I wish you all well on your recovery.

Take care.

 

[shifty_uk]

I was on anti depressants for a few months. But now i'm just on propanalol (beta blockers) as i just start worrying to much and have panic attacks occasionally. Taking the beta blockers just stops it happening, which is pretty sweet.

I've been on these for ages, they don't ******* work.

 

[seaviewuk]

I haven't read the thread, but a lot of people who think they have depression, usually just have the blues.

There is a marked difference.

 

[rz30]

I was 20 when I went to University and that's when it all started. Everything just got to me, too much work, worrying, girlfriend, away from home etc. I started on a course of anti-depressants. The first few weeks was quite tough, but afterwards you start feeling numb.

About a year ago I started coming off them. Unfortunately I came off them too quickly and the strong panic attacks started coming back. I am now on a medium dose, hoping to come down in the next few months.

Being on the medication makes you tired and you get a tend to be quite apathetic, personally anyway. The last few years have been a bit of a rollercoaster.

Give me a shout if you got any questions.

Same as me, unfortunately the numb feeling doesn't go away when you stop taking them, it messes with your brains chemistry which i was never told when i was put on them!