Douchebag parking - actions?

Buy nappy, fill with Nutella or if you’re so inclined put it on then **** yourself. Finally, place it on the windscreen, making sure to adequately smear.
 
Ali195 said:
Buy nappy, fill with Nutella or if you’re so inclined put it on then **** yourself. Finally, place it on the windscreen, making sure to adequately smear.
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I'm trying to picture how they'd work out it's Nutella without engaging with the contents in a rather 'manual' way. It's a very entertaining picture.
 
Will Gill said:
Moving house provides an income for estate agents, moving companies and might cause a surge in local house prices!

Food for thought
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All jesting aside, I'll not ever be buying somewhere that has this kind of parking again. Whilst the issues are few and far between, it is such a massive faff when you've got to deal with the great inconsiderates. Though I suppose people will be arses wherever, including parking in front of dropped kerb driveways.
 
CageyH said:
Shrink wrap the car next time he parks there.

Either that, or put a potato up the exhaust in such a way that you can’t see it, and it blocks the exhaust.
The car will have problems starting.
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Haggisman said:
I like this idea, all you need is £5 worth of cling film and a couple of bored kids
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CageyH said:
Most modern cars don’t have lock barrels.

Shrink wrap is annoying to remove. Potato will stop the car from starting, but is easy to remove.
Neither cause damage to the car, which could get you in trouble.
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The clingfilm idea is a very good and innocuous one. If I can't speak to the utter knuckle who parks like this, clingfilming with one of those massive Kirkland rolls with a note beneath might do the trick and has zero risk of damage unlike the gluing etc.
 
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bloodiedathame said:
Controversial opinion: from that picture it looks like there's plenty of room for the cars to get out.

I suppose it's private parking so you could put a cone out or put up a no parking sign.
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Stu999 said:
It doesn’t look like it for the Nissan, not without a billion point turn anyway.
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bloodiedathame said:
If there's a wall behind it, that would make fun.
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I can see why you might think so but the Nissan is in a bay walled on three sides. The Merc didn't leave enough space for the Nissan to get out in the photo, though has done before by parking a little further over towards the 'right' (but then it's even tighter for the neighbour on the right). Shame it's not a banger of a Nissan as I can imagine some folks scraping out to make a point.
 
Resident said:
Schrader valve removal tool.

1/4 turn anticlockwise, just enough to break the seal on 3 wheels (not 4, apparently becomes criminal damage if all four)

Tyres will deflate slowly. They'll inflate them again and they'll go down again but there will be no visible punctures and most tyre places fail to test the valves....
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Interestingly this happens with one of my tyres. Will pick up the valve tool and try tightening it
 
Get a glass milk bottle (Do they have them any more?) and grind it up then mix in some dog faeces and spread it under their door handles.

Otherwise the quick jacks is a good shout. Get your neighbours that have CCTV or ring cameras to turn them off. Then get together and get the quick jacks and move the car out into the middle of the road. The police have to do something about it then as its considered an obstruction..

Oh and BTW these are hypothetical suggestions and are in no way serious and has not been tried by myself or anyone i know. Honestly guv/officer. ;)
 
aqnS3t9.jpeg
Speaking of bad parking - I came home to this tonight
 
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