Equal rights, equal... hitting?

[-gem-]

I personally couldn't hit a women so I think it was unacceptable for him to blatantly come out and say that to you Gemma .

I would perhaps restrain a women but hitting a women crosses the line in my eyes anyway.

see, this is exactly the kind of attitude that, to be honest, i felt safe with. i mean, ive read all peoples views on equality,so i know kind of how come people feel... and i suppose it just surprised me, to the point where i wouldnt feel safe with some blokes because it feels like, if we were arguing between each other, and things got out of hand, he would hit me. i could never feel safe with someone that i knew could hit me. and i would never ever take advantage of someone or use my ''femininity'' against a guy, just because i knew he would never hit me. i wouldnt take advantage..

but it seems like a lot of guys have decided its ok to hit women, because of the loud, gobby chavs of women that first started laying into men in the first place. greeaatt... but i just couldnt feel safe with that sort of guy. sorry.

i just think, to me a highly valued moral is that of 'i dont hit women', and the all the other underlying values that come with it. and NOT because i want to take advantage of that sort of man.

parts of that may not make complete sense due to being extremely tired...sorry

 

[malolo]

my opening post made no reference to any direct person? unless you assume i perhaps only have one ex?

I'm not assuming anything. The fact that the ex in question decided to log in and give his side of the story since he was a member here is why I made the comment I did. If you had been talking about another ex and he wasn't a member but had come across your post, signed up and given his side of the story then my point would still have stood.

see, this is exactly the kind of attitude that, to be honest, i felt safe with. i mean, ive read all peoples views on equality,so i know kind of how come people feel... and i suppose it just surprised me, to the point where i wouldnt feel safe with some blokes because it feels like, if we were arguing between each other, and things got out of hand, he would hit me. i could never feel safe with someone that i knew could hit me. and i would never ever take advantage of someone or use my ''femininity'' against a guy, just because i knew he would never hit me. i wouldnt take advantage..

You're talking about two different scenarios.

Nobody is going to feel safe with someone who demonstrates the ability to lash out for no good reason, whether they are male or female, but you were originally talking about a situation that would have given that person a 'reason' to be on the defensive at the very least, and at times defence can very quickly turn into attack.

 

[Andrew1978]

well, the problem i have with that is you're painting an image that all men who agree they would hit a woman are some out of control wife beater when its not the case.

I imagine when most people thought "would i hit a woman?" and decided they would that it probably involved some sort of assault and not a disagreement/domestic with their partner, wether someone finds it morally right or socially acceptable is another matter but as it stands their are situations where it is ok to hit a woman and the law will even be on your side.

i'll give you an example, you just walk away from a cash machine and as you turn around some scrawny looking woman with bags under her eyes and two teeth starts to scream at you threatening to cut you, flailing her arms and demanding your wallet, you dont see a knife in her hand.

Do you

A) Buy her flowers she's clearly suffering from the blues
B) surrender like a pansy handing over your wallet and testicles
C) Punch her in the ovaries and call the police?

The whole notion of "you never hit a woman" comes from an era where women would never do anything like this and i think we all know we live in a different time now.

 

[Angilion]

see, this is exactly the kind of attitude that, to be honest, i felt safe with. i mean, ive read all peoples views on equality,so i know kind of how come people feel... and i suppose it just surprised me, to the point where i wouldnt feel safe with some blokes because it feels like, if we were arguing between each other, and things got out of hand, he would hit me. i could never feel safe with someone that i knew could hit me. and i would never ever take advantage of someone or use my ''femininity'' against a guy, just because i knew he would never hit me. i wouldnt take advantage..

but it seems like a lot of guys have decided its ok to hit women, because of the loud, gobby chavs of women that first started laying into men in the first place. greeaatt... but i just couldnt feel safe with that sort of guy. sorry.

i just think, to me a highly valued moral is that of 'i dont hit women', and the all the other underlying values that come with it. and NOT because i want to take advantage of that sort of man.

parts of that may not make complete sense due to being extremely tired...sorry

You do want to take advantage of "that sort of man". All men, in fact, because you want all men to be like that. You want all men to accept a position of inferiority, one in which they can be beaten with impunity by women. That's very much like men as peasants or even serfs and women as the nobility. If a member of the nobility wishes to beat one of their serfs, the serf should just stand there and be beaten, without ever raising a hand to defend themself. You may not want to beat your serf, but you want society set up that way - how is that not taking advantage?

To me, sexual equality is a highly valued moral stance. Denying the option of self defence to people of the "wrong" sex is not.

Imagine a scenario in which you've gone out for a fun night out with a man and some thug attacks you in the street. This particular thug happens to be a woman. She's punching you in the face. You're bleeding. You're going down. Do you want the man you're with to stand by and do nothing while you're being beaten, perhaps to death, because the person beating you is a woman?

If you can honestly answer "yes" to that scenario, I will have some respect for your consistentcy to go with my contempt for your position.

 

[unwashed potato!]

so is it ok then to hit a man? imo hitting is wrong doesn't matter if it's a male or female, cat, dog, mouse, giraffe etc, except when its self defence which then it's acceptable like if a lion was attacking you you'd hit them back, a woman/sometimes can resemble beast, hitting you you'd hit back and i'd be fine with it.

Although saying that i think a woman hitting a man is far worse then a man hitting a woman as woman think i'll hit him as he can't do anything back, until pichaaaa there goes there ovaries.

 

[Fuzz]

You do want to take advantage of "that sort of man". All men, in fact, because you want all men to be like that. You want all men to accept a position of inferiority, one in which they can be beaten with impunity by women. That's very much like men as peasants or even serfs and women as the nobility. If a member of the nobility wishes to beat one of their serfs, the serf should just stand there and be beaten, without ever raising a hand to defend themself. You may not want to beat your serf, but you want society set up that way - how is that not taking advantage?

To me, sexual equality is a highly valued moral stance. Denying the option of self defence to people of the "wrong" sex is not.

Imagine a scenario in which you've gone out for a fun night out with a man and some thug attacks you in the street. This particular thug happens to be a woman. She's punching you in the face. You're bleeding. You're going down. Do you want the man you're with to stand by and do nothing while you're being beaten, perhaps to death, because the person beating you is a woman?

If you can honestly answer "yes" to that scenario, I will have some respect for your consistentcy to go with my contempt for your position.

I wish I could put mind to finger to keyboard like that /\

+1

 

[teulk]

I think physically abusing women for kicks and exploiting their weakness is wrong, there are women out there however who can hit as hard as most men. These women often exploit the fact that because they are women a man wont hit them back i.e your out for a drink and they have a go at you for what ever reason and lamp you one right in your face - why shouldnt they get a punch back.............Ok so naturally you would really restrain yourself as its "a woman" thats just punched you and go out of your way not to hit back but how long do you take a beating for ? One punch, two punces,3, 4, 5 ? Ok put it another way, people have been killed by groups of "girls" i.e oaps just for laughs - do they not deserve to be hit if it was you they were attacking or would you just refain because they are "females"......

 

[^TANK^]

You're asking if hitting a woman is okay? Well I think it's one of the most despicable things a man can do, so no.

Edit :: ^^ restrain yeah, but *BAM, Pimp slap*, no.

 

[James07]

Ive always thought i wouldnt hit a women, but i wouldnt stand there why shes kicking and punching me... id have to restrain her, even if it means hurting her, you have to defend yourself dont you...

As for him hitting you coz you hit someone else, well thats just stupid isnt it? I would push you both apart and keep you apart.. Id never hit a women because she hit a girl im with, id pull my lady friend away walk away and laugh it off...

Punching a woman under any circumstances = bad

Dont be stupid, if a girls punching you straight in the teeth, you aint gonna let that happen are you, your telling me, a girl comes up n starts hitting you, your gonna do nothing about it, you do something about it, obv dont kick the **** out of her thats out of order, but you make sure she isnt in a position to do so by restraining her, if it means swinging a punch to get her away then so be it, they started, you try finish... you have to defend yourself no matter if its male or female.

If you dont have any martial arts skills you will also find it hard to block punches so you will have to adapt to what you can use and use it efficiantly.. but like i said, dont go ott, a copper once said to me,

"You can hit anyone in self defence aslong as they hit you 1st, but once they hit the floor, look concussed or stop attacking you, that is when u cease the actions your taking to defend yourself."

He said that to me when i was a witness in a case which involved my friend getting beaten to death and me bean a witness.. i was scared about getting intimidated and didnt know what to do if i got appraoched by the youths who were on bail as i were around 14-15 at the time. That saying stuck with me and he was right in what he said.

 

[teulk]

Ok then when your getting a beating off two or three women you just lay there and let your morals get you killed or severly injured. What needs to be taken into account here is the context in which you would hit a woman as already pointed out and quite rightly so it is not always acceptable........

 

[-westy-]

my opening post made no reference to any direct person? unless you assume i perhaps only have one ex?

I referenced it, the 'ex' is myself. Since I deleted my last posts, i'll re-phrase them.

If a woman came into somewhere, and punched my girlfriend for whatever reason (don't like her, jealous, whatever really), then I would honestly have no hesitation in punching them back, regardless. Yeah, I know, morals come into it, don't hit a woman etc etc, and I'd never attack a woman (or anyone) without a very good reason. If someone's got the audacity to come up to myself or anyone I know and physically attack them, then they've bloody well got the guts to handle being punched squarely in the face. I have no problem with that.

Edit: And sometimes giving someone the idea that you're going to hit them, albeit telling them, or through some physical action, is enough



And the fact that you brought it to this forum in particular, instead of the ones where you post regularly, shows that yes, there are personal matters involved, as i've been registered on here for over 5 years

 

[Linwig]

Having seen a female friend of mine who managed to really mash some blokes face up with a few punches I would not hesitate to take any measure necesarry to meet an attack with equal force.

Throwing a punch is not the only way to defend yourself though and I would find it almost impossible to 'punch' a woman....but point being, I think quite a lot of men would be surprised that a proportion of the 'weaker' sex being able to dish out damage more than their male counterparts

Be careful out there boys!

 

[MoNkeE]

Sounds to me that if the world was run your way, you'd be allowed to hit someone but are far too scared of any serious reprocutions? If you hit my G/F, I'd smack you one without doubt! I don't know why people are saying they won't - not sticking up for your G/F is far more cowardly than striking a woman - especially a woman that brought it on to the physical level on the first place!

Plus why does gender have anything to do with it? If a lad the same strength as a woman (IE most chavs) struck your G/F, you wouldn't hesitate to rip them a new one. Why can't the same strength be transferred to a woman and the same fate not befall them?

-RaZ

 

[MoNkeE]

and i would never ever take advantage of someone or use my ''femininity'' against a guy, just because i knew he would never hit me. i wouldnt take advantage..

BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE! You're saying it's wrong that if you smack his G/F, he can't return in equal measure. THAT'S USING YOUR FEMININITY TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!

Blimey, they don't teach 'em like they used to!

-RaZ

 

[Richdog]

Ok then when your getting a beating off two or three women you just lay there and let your morals get you killed or severly injured.

I think you're preaching to the wrong crowd, 90% of people on this forum have thankfully never been in a position where they've been attacked by male or female and had that "**** i'm about to get seriously hurt" feeling, if they had they ma feel a bit differently about it. Sad thing is I have seen so many women capable of beating the crap out of a man, and who would love nothing more than to stand there laying into some sap who wouldn't strike back because "their moral forbid them". It's a little sad to think that the can get away with it due to the largely sexist (albeit well-intentioned) attitudes of some blokes too.

The whole notion of "you never hit a woman" comes from an era where women would never do anything like this and i think we all know we live in a different time now.

Bingo... it's an archaic point of view, and very silly.

 

[NickK]

ah, sorry- i should mention i wasnt around when this whole equality thing was fought for. ok so we can do some jobs that men can.. but at the end of the day, men are mostly stronger, so why take things further than they need to go by hitting her, rather than restraining her? i know if i saw or heard of any man hitting a woman without extreme due cause.. there would just be no respect left for them. and a lot of people think like that, i thought a lot of men thought like that, too. most who i have asked feel that they could never hit a woman, at the least because they would never need to. especially if it was only over some catfight ..

Why feel the need to resort to violence in the first place?

Is there some rule that says if a woman argues with someone (and they aren't being physically threatening) that they're allowed to hit a man when their verbal barrage isn't enough?

I will defend myself, however we're taught that we only clear an exit. Usually verbal sparring is much better
In my kickboxing classes, there are at least four women who rank above me and when sparring can (and do) beat me. It not seen as good practice to use full force in sparring or even pad work. Perhaps at competition but for club level you're not there to break peoples ribs etc.

If a guy hit my girlfriend I would see red. No question about it. How much force is used depends on the incident.

 

[The Running Man]

Gem - why would you need to hit her anyway? sounds very strange, kinda like you would be looking for trouble?

i wouldn't "hit" as in punch a girl to the face, but if some mad woman attacked my other half then yea id grab her and chuck her either on the floor, or wherever tbh, the fact that it was a "she" and that im a "male" has mothing to do with it.

Dont go thinking that you can go attack random womens and that being a woman will save you.

If you were to act like a lady and not hit anyone or give anyone a reason to hit you back, then you should never get hit. Sadly there arent many who act in this way these days...

BTW your thread heading says "equal rights" if a woman can hit a man and its okay, then surely by the same token it would be okay for a male to hit a woman, given equal rights?

However it should never be okay for a male to hit a woman, but then a woman shouldn't hit anyone to begin with.

 

[aardvark]

i had this situation a few days ago...

some random woman shoved past my very pregnant fiancee.

Me, being me, said in a nice loud voice "excuse me wouldn't go amiss", then said random woman sarted mouthing off about "why should I have to say excuse me to you"... to which i laughed my head off...

more shouting from woman, more laughing from me. she then proceeds
to get right in my face and scream "**** off" (and I do mean scream).

Fiancee tells her to **** off (it takes rather a lot to rattle her into any form of anger etc)

Now, said woman is of rather hefty build, and threatens to take a swing at my fiancee. I inform her she does that, and i will crack her one.

she swings, i plant her.

anyone have a problem with that? The police don't (i was surprised tbh, copper told her to "**** off home and stop being so stupid" when she said she wanted me charged, and elaborated when she kept banging on, that she would come off a LOT worse than me in court)

In certain (rare) situations, i will hit a woman. IF, and only IF it is absolutely needed. Someone going for a pregnant woman is one of them.

on a side note, me and the fiancee saw her and her other half in town today. cue much mouthing from partner, (I laugh, i tend to do that) partner swings, i put him on his behind and guess what, he gets nicked for assault. Lovely outcome methinks...

lol - good on you - in that situation you did the right thing.

 

[wordy]

Something that seems to have been missed from this arguement is why is it ok for a woman to hit a man? -gem- seems to feel that strongly about men hitting women that she has glossed over the fact that it is no more acceptable for a woman to hit a man than the other way around.

A woman throwing a closed fist could break a mans nose, so why should a man have to restrain himself when if a man were to break his nose then he would be trying his damnest to flatten him.

If a woman were to hit me then I would hit her straight back. Why should I risk further assault while trying to restrain her when a left cross would sit her on her backside and stop any further danger to me?

 

[-Ad-]

Hitting can be defined in a number of ways...... Accidental hit, punch, ovary punch, slap ????

I would never hit my mrs, but if she went mad and tried to stab me with a global cooks knife then i probably would land a hefty punch and knock her out asap. On the other hand if she had had too many smarties and went mad trying to scratch my eyes out then id probably restrain her then give her a slap to calm her down.

(Not that the situations above would ever happen )