Family dispute incoming

Resident said:
I would assume she probably went down the line of what happens if the mother needed to go into care and if the house was still in mother's name they'd be forced to sell it to pay for the carehome bill, leaving sister with no FREE home.
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Be it ever so humble, there's no place like FREE home.
 
Well, funnily enough I had another chat with mum at the weekend about this.

I explained to my mum how lying to me has damaged my trust in her. I'm not sure she understands why I feel like this, despite me doing my best to explain.

It's still horrible and I'm not sure where it will go.
 
potatolord said:
Well, funnily enough I had another chat with mum at the weekend about this.

I explained to my mum how lying to me has damaged my trust in her. I'm not sure she understands why I feel like this, despite me doing my best to explain.

It's still horrible and I'm not sure where it will go.
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I'm not entirely sure it's your mum you should be upset with and lost trust in.

From what you've said your mum was anxious about you knowing, so there must have been something in this, so maybe you could reflect on yourself and what you might be able to do to make yourself more approachable. I'm not sure continuing to tell your mum you can't trust her is going to help put her faith in you to confidence in you about such matters and will likely continue the current status quo.

Your sister comes across as being very manipulative from what you've said , efforts should be concentrated here to ensure she doesn't take advantage any further, however it needs to be done in a way your mum isn't going to feel like a pawn in sibling quarrels.
 
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Blackjack Davy said:
At the end of the day its his mother's choice so long as she's of sound mind and body when she signed it over theres not a lot you can do about that.
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Personally, I don't think it's as simple as that. I know it's a different situation, but if a con artist had talked your mum into signing over a house to them, would you say 'oh well, she was of sound mind, so I guess that's the way things go...'
 
AndyCr15 said:
Personally, I don't think it's as simple as that. I know it's a different situation, but if a con artist had talked your mum into signing over a house to them, would you say 'oh well, she was of sound mind, so I guess that's the way things go...'
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Yeah I agree.. it's coercion...

If the mother said, child A is only getting 10% of the will because X,Y,Z, then fair enough, but it seems like Child B has been doing a lot of coercing behind the scenes directly for thier own benefit, and to the detriment of averyone else.
 
sx_turbo said:
I'm not entirely sure it's your mum you should be upset with and lost trust in.

From what you've said your mum was anxious about you knowing, so there must have been something in this, so maybe you could reflect on yourself and what you might be able to do to make yourself more approachable. I'm not sure continuing to tell your mum you can't trust her is going to help put her faith in you to confidence in you about such matters and will likely continue the current status quo.

Your sister comes across as being very manipulative from what you've said , efforts should be concentrated here to ensure she doesn't take advantage any further, however it needs to be done in a way your mum isn't going to feel like a pawn in sibling quarrels.
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Firstly, i'll say that I'm finding it difficult to deal with having been lied to by my mum on multiple occasions, over years. It has affected my trust- I don't think it's that unreasonable for me to feel like that. I'm not in a theoretical situation here.

I did say to mum that, over the years, I've consistently said that both me and my sister should be involved in any discussions, so everyone knows what's going on. She agreed that I've done that. And here we are...

I've done a lot of reflecting on myself- not least as I have tried to understand what I could have done differently, and how that might have changed things. It eats away at you, you know?
 
potatolord said:
Firstly, i'll say that I'm finding it difficult to deal with having been lied to by my mum on multiple occasions, over years. It has affected my trust- I don't think it's that unreasonable for me to feel like that. I'm not in a theoretical situation here.

I did say to mum that, over the years, I've consistently said that both me and my sister should be involved in any discussions, so everyone knows what's going on. She agreed that I've done that. And here we are...

I've done a lot of reflecting on myself- not least as I have tried to understand what I could have done differently, and how that might have changed things. It eats away at you, you know?
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I get it, I really do, and it's something I fear will happen if my dad is the first one to go.

Obviously we online don't know the full history etc so can only comment on the snippets we read.

I don't know your mum, but it comes across as though she's eager to please for a quiet life, or easily led, meek and mild maybe, always willing to help, (sounds like my nan when she was around) which is how your sister managed to take advantage.

To build bridges need to let it go a bit ( I know this is very hard), move in and think of how you can protect your mum going forward.


Apologies for judging
 
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