Family dispute incoming
- Thread starter potatolord
- Start date
Soldato
But I thought you said it was going on now? Maybe I'm getting mixed, but I thought things were being gifted now? Surely that means the discussion could/should be had now? It's like it's raining, I should think about putting up an umbrella... but I'll wait till it stops, to see how much rain actually falls before I decide if it's worth putting the umbrella up... no?
Soldato
lolwut
Soldato
Yeah this does suck 
But at the end of the day, it's your parents decision on who to leave anything to.
I have worked hard and thrown all my money into buying and paying for a nice house, whereas my brother has frittered every penny he has ever earned and has no property of his own.
The only way he will ever own a house is if our parents leave theirs to him. I'll just have to accept it if that happens.
But at the end of the day, it's your parents decision on who to leave anything to.
I have worked hard and thrown all my money into buying and paying for a nice house, whereas my brother has frittered every penny he has ever earned and has no property of his own.
The only way he will ever own a house is if our parents leave theirs to him. I'll just have to accept it if that happens.
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Aug 2005
- Posts
- 3,619
It really depends on how much your sister needs the property. I have my own house but my younger brother is still living at home so i would not be surprised if my mum left the house for him.
Soldato
Yeah this does suck
But at the end of the day, it's your parents decision on who to leave anything to.
I have worked hard and thrown all my money into buying and paying for a nice house, whereas my brother has frittered every penny he has ever earned and has no property of his own.
The only way he will ever own a house is if our parents leave theirs to him. I'll just have to accept it if that happens.
That's where it becomes a difficult decision for parents, do you play it straight down the line 50/50, knowing that one of your children is most likely going to struggle in old age*. Or like in your brother's situation do they leave him the house to give him that extra help.
As parents you never stop supporting your kids, no matter what their age, and some kids need more help through their lives than others. I think in some cases a 50/50 split isn't necessarily the way to go.
*Yes, it's a problem of his own making, but I'd suspect most parents would help out if they're in a position to do so.
Context is also important. If the stay at home child is just a lazy skiver living off his parents, then it's understandable that the other would not be happy about them receiving favourable treatment. But that's rather different to a situation where they are making a significant financial contribution that the parents rely on, or where they are providing care for the parents and perhaps enabling them to continue living in their own home.
Why can't he just use his 50% of it to buy another house - either outright or as a substantial deposit?
Soldato
To be honest, he'd probably just disappear off round the world for a year if that happened. He's truly shocking with money.
Soldato
1) Your parents are entitled to do whatever they want with their money. If they give you anything at the end, then great.
2) Is it possible that your mum was scared of having a conversation with you about all this? Are you aggressive and hard headed in conversations or hold things over people? It's a question for you to think about, not an accusation.
I do understand you being upset about being lied to though. Family stuff like this is the worst.
2) Is it possible that your mum was scared of having a conversation with you about all this? Are you aggressive and hard headed in conversations or hold things over people? It's a question for you to think about, not an accusation.
I do understand you being upset about being lied to though. Family stuff like this is the worst.
So what would stop him from also doing that with 100% of the house too?
Soldato
When is SIS having another 
Last edited:
- Joined
- 21 Jan 2010
- Posts
- 3,530
Tomorrow, as I have a day off work.
I spoke to her on the phone earlier, but didn't say anything.
It has to be done face to face.
I'm not looking forward to it at all.
Last edited:
Soldato
- Joined
- 25 Sep 2012
- Posts
- 3,189
del
Last edited:
I think people are pattern-matching with a slightly different scenario when replying with stuff like this.
For example, suppose the parents want to go on a round-the-world cruise or dad buys a Porsche he's always dreamed of or they take equity release in their home to fund this stuff etc.. That's where the "they're entities to do whatever they want with their money" comments more readily apply. It would generally be rather presumptuous or entitled to want to try and object to their spending.
But this isn't a scenario like that, this is concerning money/assets already given away and potentially due to be given away and the unequal treatment of two siblings.
Suppose she decided to treat grandkids differently too, put money in ISAs for the sister's kids but not the OPs, or perhaps always went to the sister's house for Christmas.
Ditto to the OP. supposing he were to then stop taking her calls or stop her from seeing the grandkids (if there are any).
They'd both be entitled to do those things too but it's rather moot, it doesn't make it right nor does it negate that there are some obvious objections.
Soldato
At the end of the day, regardless of 'fairness' it's still their money, not his. Should he feel peeved? Sure, I wouldn't be particularly happy about it if my family were treating one like the golden child, and me with nothing.
Soldato
Up to 30% below market value IIRC. You can't just make up a figure.
I think you can indeed just make up a figure although it may mean you have to pay CGT on the market value rather than the sale price.
Last edited:
Soldato
There is a hefty fine if they do not report it. If you even suggest the house is under-valued then it will be reported. Whether the tax office do anything depends on the scale of the under-valuation.