Family dispute incoming

Well done @potatolord. As I suggested previously, your mum had a plan to make it even, it just appears your sister has rather tricked your mum. Personally, I would want a discussion with my sibling if they'd done this to the family, even if your intention is to then have nothing to do with her. I'd want my sibling to understand why. Maybe... maybe, it's an honest mistake of some kind. I would want to have the chat for sure.

Gepetto said:
your courage has given me the lick up the backside
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This, on the other hand, I would suggest you should not do anymore. No more licking up backsides please, not even for a £300k house...
 
potatolord said:
- Sister didn't have anywhere to live. I pointed out she had been living there for about ten years already.
- sister told her the house couldn't be sold for structural reasons. No advice sought on this, taken on trust.
- Sister told her the house was worth half its true value. No valuation was done as my mum took her at her word.
- Sister told her the council were going to compulsory purchase the house. No evidence provided, again taken on trust.
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wtf!
potatolord said:
I'm not sure whether this is coercion or whatever but something stinks.
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for sure
potatolord said:
no good coming from talking to her.
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oh i'd be talking to her if she was my sister and i'd be telling her that i will be looking to see if she has broken any laws on coercive behavior, i'd also be telling her shes a ****. she's conned your mum out of the house is the bottom line here.
 
Tuppy_Glossop said:
@potatolord Surely you need to let your sister know she can no longer steamroller your mum. Help mum to get the high value item back, etc.
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Assuming what the mother said is true. Based on what PL said about how his mum thought he'd go mad and what happened (taken on trust) there's the possibility that mum has said whatever she believed would avoid confrontation at that moment in time, if PL did/does speak with sister i wouldn't be at all surprised if they got a different story/series of events.

Then it boils down to who do you believe.
 
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Stumble Bum said:
But she didn't though. that's the whole issue.
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potatolord said:
my mum's maths is poor and thought if she gave me half of (unrealistically low) value, we would have had a fair share. That would be around a quarter of true value.
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I took from this line, it was part of a plan? Give the house to daughter, give son similar value of it or cash.
 
Murphy said:
Assuming what the mother said is true. Based on what PL said about how his mum thought he'd go mad and what happened (taken on trust) there's the possibility that mum has said whatever she believed would avoid confrontation at that moment in time, if PL did/does speak with sister i wouldn't be at all surprised if they got a different story/series of events.

Then it boils down to who do you believe.
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What are you talking about? Its pretty unlikely she concocted those events.
 
That is properly ****. I'm sorry you're having to go through that.

It sounds like you did well with the whole conversation, if your mum is thinking of talking to your sister then I'd suggest you be there with it on loudspeaker so you can be part of that conversation. You'll be angry but IMO your mum might well do it without you and she needs someones advice she can trust.
It sounds incredibly dodgy.
 
potatolord said:
- house was given, not sold. No money changed hands.
- Sister didn't have anywhere to live. I pointed out she had been living there for about ten years already.
- sister told her the house couldn't be sold for structural reasons. No advice sought on this, taken on trust.
- Sister told her the house was worth half its true value. No valuation was done as my mum took her at her word.
- Sister told her the council were going to compulsory purchase the house. No evidence provided, again taken on trust.
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Jeez that's messed up. Where do you go from there!
 
Wow...that's seriously messed up, so the Mum was basically conned into signing the house over?

Estate agents will give you a free valuation... that's a very quick and easy way to call the sister out on her BS...

but just wow..there's a fair bit to unpack there!

@OP, at least you know now that your Mum was basically duped, rather than playing favorites!

 
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Only real fair outcome is that you get more of the final inheritance, or whatever is left. Your mum should obv keep enough to carry on living as she has been.

Your sister has had far more than her due, many years of presumably living there rent free, and then finally taking ownership of the property.

You probably need to know what the house is worth as of when it was handed over at least, or value today stepped back by index change to roughly that far back.

Wouldn't want to deprive your mum of money now, but also need to be sure the sister doesn't try and get more out of her!
 
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potatolord said:
Mum was gutted.

She said she'll give me £££££. I said she can't give me her savings, and I won't accept it anyway.

She said she'll have to sell her house, and give me money. Again, I said no as that's just foolish talk.

The will is 50/50, and now my mum has realised that my sister has already benefited. She's not happy and now wants to change her will. I told her to think carefully about that, before doing anything.
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That's reassuring at least in that she didn't intend to treat you both differently but a bit of a chaotic response - why would you need her savings right now etc.

The last bit is exactly what she should be doing but given that it didn't occur to her to do it previously and given the response you've mentioned then I'd suggest what I suggested previously - get an IFA to do it:
dowie said:
Essentially (especially if your mum isn't too numerate), contact IFA, explain that she wants to split evenly (granted this now becomes slightly subjective) and see how to set up will (accounting for possible IHT too) so as to give you a larger share of the main house and other assets to balance out the very large gift your sister has already received from your mum/her estate (this does count as part of it if she passes within 7 years of the gift). Basically an amount of 300k(or whatever the house value was) + inflation from X year to go to you then rest of the estate split 50/50 would be a fair way to do it.
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Essentially she knows it's an unfair situation/uneven and she intended for her assets to be split 50/50 - so she should go to an IFA with that and request some assistance from them to plan for how to do that taking into account whatever she's given your sister. Then get a solicitor to draw up the will and make sure you both have it explained that you're being treated equally.. just keep it all open/transparent and that's all you can do.
 
dowie said:
so she should go to an IFA with that and request some assistance from them to plan for how to do that taking into account whatever she's given your sister. Then get a solicitor to draw up the will and make sure you both have it explained that you're being treated equally.. just keep it all open/transparent and that's all you can do.
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It would have to be the Mothers choice, but if I were in her shoes...given the coercion and lies, I'd simply tell the sister that 'that's yer lot' - and re-write the will with her not in it.
 
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Oh dear. :(
It seems like the damage is done now both relationship wise and financial. OP, doesn't sound like you will ever get back half of the gain that your sister has had? If she already owns the 300K house then...? Unless your Mum's home is worth more than that and the will can be altered to account for the situation to reconcile things?
As above, I think the simplest (and deserved/fair) outcome would be to push for the will to now be made out to completely exclude your sister entirely. But if your sister has manipulated your Mum before, there is no telling what a drive for more money will do in the future over attempting to alter wills/probate etc. perhaps you could tread carefully and possibly consult a solicitor before confronting your sister?
 
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BUDFORCE said:
Yup man up, get you'd own job, income, buy your own house, become alpha.

Oh, and sorry you were the unwanted child.
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I suspect we'll have some fun:
a) My parents are friends with my old school chum who is basically an only child and had a problematic family.. sort of a threat if you get my meaning as they get older.
b) My sister has two kids now grown up (almost) and so I suspect any inheritance would flow down that route. My parents have had to keep my sister float on a number of occasions.
c) I've not asked for anything.. did everything myself.. married, unfortunately no kids. Wife is close to her family (although her estranged niece phoned up for "her share" on the death of my wife's father.. (France is that the children get the inheritance but then have to agree to reassign it to the spouse of the deceased), that way the kids never go without and you can't get the scenario of the evil stepmother/stepfather spending all the inheritance.
I'm not very close to my parents, we're quite independent as a family - partly because my parents are both only kids so we may see each other every couple of years or when they drive past. I don't actually see inheritance as being something I'm entitled to to be honest but I think my wife would push for it..
 
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