Favourite Red Dwarf scene?

Cat : "Look at my clothes, red with apricot? I'm bleeding an unfashionable colour. I should have worn white, that goes with anything."
Cat : "You think I might have gangrene? Green with apricot, I might just be able to pull it off." :D
 
Kochanski: Kryten, do you know what this means?

Kryten: What ma'am?

Kochanski: This makes you a real man!

Kryten: How?

Kochanski: Because like all men, they have no control of their penis!

;)
 
"Well, just lining up in ... in some kind of firing squad. Woah Woah! Hang on, hang on. Someone's being brought out, they're tying him to a stake. It's Winnie the Pooh!?!?!"
"What?!?!"
"Winnie the Pooh, I swear! He's refusing the blindfold."
"They're tying Winnie the Pooh to a stake?"
*Gunshots*
"That's somthing no one should ever have to see!"
 
Just remembered the episode where kryten is getting replaced, so on his final night they get him drunk.

when they are having a party and rimmer mentions his first french kiss... with his uncle frank, i nearly peed my pants. so brilliant.

barrie is such a great actor
 
the other holly one got me thinking about the Queeg episode - "we're talking jape of the century", "get all my knowledge from the junior encyclopedia of space" plus loads of others i can't remember - can't look up youtube at work to find it unfortunately :(

i also like the kennedy assasination one, i thought it was a really clever story. shame it all went a bit downhill after that.

oh, and the first polymorph one i think - when lister has already been got and he's on the bed in the medical room with rimmer's mum as the polymorph talking about how lister was insatiable in bed - "you wouldn't believe what this boy can do with alphabeti spagetti".

i'm sat at work with a big daft smile on my face remembering all these!
 
MELLIE: What are you doing lunchtime?

ACE: Not sure. Why?

MELLIE: Because if you're interested, I'll be in my quarters, covered in
maple syrup.

ACE: I'm sorry, Mellie, I don't fraternize with the staff.

MELLIE: I resign.

ACE: I'll be there at 1300.
 
I always loved the Queeg episode

'horsey to bish 5'

and holly ends up as a night watchman with a screen on tracks, a flat cap, scarf and torch

and rimmerworld when he has his chinese stress balls and when they find him in prison they are just tiny little ballbearings..made me laugh out loud
 
KRYTEN: What on earth are we going to do?

CAT: Hey, I got it! We laser our way through!

KRYTEN: An excellent suggestion, sir, with just two minor drawbacks. One, we don’t have a power source for the lasers, and two, we don’t have any lasers.

Now, I realise this is only really one drawback, but it was such a big that that I thought it was worth mentioning twice.
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Or a personal favourite..

SMeee.... Smm.... smeeeeeeeeeeeggggggg heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead
 
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"If you'll allow me, Sir, as one mechanical to another. He'll understand me. Now. Now, you listen here. You will not offer ANY grilled bread products to ANY member of the crew. If you do, you will be on the receiving end of a very large polo mallet."
"Can I ask just one question?"
"Of course."
"Would anyone like any toast?"
"Didn't you HEAR what I just said?"
"Yes, but I thought you might have changed your mind in the meantime."
"We haven't changed our mind!"
"NO TOAST!"
"But I am a toaster. It is my /raison d'etre/. I toast, therefore I am. If you don't want any toast, why did you repair me?"
 
The bit where talkie toaster is asked to ask Holly any question in the Universe is a great too...

Talkie Toaster: The question is this: given that God is infinite and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea-cake?
Holly: That's another bready question!
Talkie Toaster: No, it's not just bready. It's quite curranty, too!

ps3ud0 :cool:
 
Mine is some bit where they are talking about what supplies they have left and they end up talking about Dutch Lager & Curry for some reason quite funny to my personally.
 
Will_3rd said:
Mine is some bit where they are talking about what supplies they have left and they end up talking about Dutch Lager & Curry for some reason quite funny to my personally.
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"We've recycled the water so many times it's beginning to taste like Dutch Lager" :D
 
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