Funny Stuff Idiots Tell You About Cars...

Iamzod · 2 Jul 2007 at 23:55

Friend at work-

"My car had 141bhp when it left the factory, would like to get it on a rolling road to see what it makes now as i'm sure it's faster"

Car in question is a 1.6 Focus Zetec with an aftermarket backbox fitted.

141bhp stock??? :confused:

danza · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:10

Serj said:
I sold a Range Rover for £350 and this guy tried to tell me that an hour later it had caught fire so he wanted a £50 refund. Fat chance i thought! So i disguised myself as an old lady.

Roffles

The_Dark_Side · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:13

"my bog standard 406 coupe does 180mph"

oookkkk

Simon · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:21

[TW]Fox said:
M54 > VTEC for sound*

*Except Simons S2000. OMG.

Thought we were quoting funny stuff

4ndy89 · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:25

Serj said:
I sold a Range Rover for £350 and this guy tried to tell me that an hour later it had caught fire so he wanted a £50 refund. Fat chance i thought! So i disguised myself as an old lady.

Far too much of this nowadays!

benjo · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:32

This woman at work told me her 1.3 Ford Ka can do 180mph because that's what the speedo reads up to :cool:

The_Dark_Side · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:37

benjo said:
This woman at work told me her 1.3 Ford Ka can do 180mph because that's what the speedo reads up to

when i was a kid i used to think the speedo needle stopper at the fast end of the dial was the only thing that stopped my dads car from going faster.
i therefore decided that the way to tune a car was to remove said stopper.

Lashout_UK · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:43

"Oh, a Sprint. You'll get about another 25BHP if you put an oil cooler on that!"

.................................. :confused:

benjo · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:46

The_Dark_Side said:
when i was a kid i used to think the speedo needle stopper at the fast end of the dial was the only thing that stopped my dads car from going faster.
i therefore decided that the way to tune a car was to remove said stopper.

If only it was that easy. Also if only my car would get around the clock

loltim · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:50

benjo said:
This woman at work told me her 1.3 Ford Ka can do 180mph because that's what the speedo reads up to

Surely Ka's don't even show 180 on the speedo.

The_Dark_Side · 3 Jul 2007 at 00:50

benjo said:
If only it was that easy. Also if only my car would get around the clock

i also thought automatic cars drove themselves.
...could never understand why my dad said he didn't like them.
i used to think "how can you not like a car that drove itself"

Abyss · 3 Jul 2007 at 01:40

Had a guy try to explain to me (at length) that his 1.6 Focus was barely any slower than my 2.0L and "in the real world" it could keep up in any situation :confused:

Stellios · 3 Jul 2007 at 01:59

The_Dark_Side said:
i also thought automatic cars drove themselves.
...could never understand why my dad said he didn't like them.
i used to think "how can you not like a car that drove itself"

You watched knight rider as a kid didnt you.

BigglesPiP · 3 Jul 2007 at 02:29

[TW]Fox said:
It was me when some guy wanted to put something like 185/55/15's on the front of his 306 and 185/65/15's on the back.

It'd sit rather odd, but it'd work.

iBot · 3 Jul 2007 at 04:55

Serj said:
I sold a Range Rover for £350 and this guy tried to tell me that an hour later it had caught fire so he wanted a £50 refund. Fat chance i thought! So i disguised myself as an old lady.

XD :d :d :d

[TW]Fox · 3 Jul 2007 at 08:24

Abyss said:
Had a guy try to explain to me (at length) that his 1.6 Focus was barely any slower than my 2.0L and "in the real world" it could keep up in any situation

If your car is a Focus he's probably right - if you both decided to do a 15 mile trip you probably wouldn't leave him for dead - the power advantage required for that just isnt there. And its easier to follow than it is to lead. So yea, he probably could keep up in the real world.

Luke · 3 Jul 2007 at 08:29

Ecotek valves give more power, better throttle respone and increased MPG.

Goliath · 3 Jul 2007 at 08:57

The_Dark_Side said:
i also thought automatic cars drove themselves.
...could never understand why my dad said he didn't like them.
i used to think "how can you not like a car that drove itself"

I could never figure out how my dad knew when to change gear, to me it was some sort of magic that only adults could do.

My favourite:

Pimply faced Shell cashier: "nice body kit mate"
Me: It's standard.
PFSC: "definitely not standard mate, I've never seen one before"
Me: :confused:

lozza23_uk · 3 Jul 2007 at 09:28

Serj said:
I sold a Range Rover for £350 and this guy tried to tell me that an hour later it had caught fire so he wanted a £50 refund. Fat chance i thought! So i disguised myself as an old lady.

haahaahaa. this actually made me laugh.
where is the poor fella this happened to yesterday? wonder if he will enter the thread.

Perywinkle · 3 Jul 2007 at 09:39

Someone at my work has a mate who apparently races bikes, and has told this lad that his race bike (in a national circuit race series, apparently) has nitrous and a turbo...

My mates race bike has a turbo and nitrous.... it is a drag racer mind