Girlfriend mad at me.

My next door neighbours, who have just moved out as it happens, had absolute blazing rows at least once a week and they would *always* end up shagging afterwards. That and they had a dog that barked all the time. So glad hey have gone tbh.
 
New neighbours also have a dog that barks, but as yet haven't heard them rowing, and thus no row related shagging. So, one out of two ain't bad. They are about 60 though I think.

It was like clockwork though before I can tell you. There would be some initial shouting. Then full on bellowing at each other. Sometimes I could pick out what was being said, like "Well **** off to your mum's then!". Then there would be the sound of doors slamming and the sounds of stomping to different parts of the house. Then a period of silence for maybe 20-30 minutes. Then the headboard would start banging ont he wall.
 
baz178 said:
What my rights with the joint house and child if she does Leave or wants me to leave ?
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Are you on the birth certificate mate? The shaky ground on break ups is either parent can keep the child and stop the other parent seeing the child. The other parent then needs to goto mediation and failing that goto court to get child access.
 
omnomnom said:
lol no, no they cant. Providing they have parental responsibility you cannot legally restrict access without a court order WHICH are not easy to obtain.
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Well it's happened to me and it's happened to other people I know. I've applied for mediation because you need a mediation certificate to goto court to apply for a child arrangement order
 
It sounds like the typical girlfriend/wife vs the mother in law, marking their patch ie you.

To your partner it looks like you and your Mum cut her out so she's reacting.

I think you need to decide if the partner is worth it or not. If she is then you need to reassure her that she'll be the first person you contact.
 
Ayahuasca said:
There are deeper underlying issues then. She’s used this as an opportunity to unload on you.

Openly siding with your mom in this situation was pointless though. You should have just played the game.
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Can't just "play the game" it needs stamping out, op's life will just get more and more miserable and the gf will get worse and worse with this behaviour unchecked.

The mother in law has done them a favour, the nursery didn't seem it serious enough to call the parents either so are they also in the wrong?

The gf is quite clearly trying to drive a wedge between op and his mum,

She's acting like a spoilt princess.

I see a it's about you being close with your mum, that's still no reason to kick off, it's not your fault her mum died, why should you have to alter your relationship with your family, if she's a problem she needs help. The fact her mum's died so Younis probably all the more reason to spend as much time with yours as possible before its too late, when they're dead you can't get the time back.

Obviously you need to be sympathetic to her situation but you can't stop just cos she's upset by it.

I may sound heartless but it's with best intentions.

That said it does sound like there is deeper issues and this is just something that's made her flip, but thing with women your supposed to guess what the deep issue is rather than they just say what's wrong.
 
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sx_turbo said:
Can't just "play the game" it needs stamping out, op's life will just get more and more miserable and the gf will get worse and worse with this behaviour unchecked.
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They're adults, not children, nothing was being "stamped out" once it got to that point and she was upset that she wasn't made aware of it sooner. Yes, she probably overreacted, and that's common with women and their young children, but if OP thinks there's a problem between her and his mother, he needs to discuss it at an appropriate time. Telling her that his mother was right when she was already up a height is only going to go one way. So yes, you have to learn to play the game and pick your battles. This is also taking into account we’re only hearing one side of the story here.
 
Ayahuasca said:
They're adults, not children, nothing was being "stamped out" once it got to that point and she was upset that she wasn't made aware of it sooner. Yes, she probably overreacted, and that's common with women and their young children, but if OP thinks there's a problem between her and his mother, he needs to discuss it at an appropriate time. Telling her that his mother was right when she was already up a height is only going to go one way. So yes, you have to learn to play the game and pick your battles. This is also taking into account we’re only hearing one side of the story here.
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We all overreact at times, especially where our kids are concerned, but that doesn't mean we deprive our partner of access to their own home and child. It was way, WAY out of proportion and is crossing into coercive behaviour territory. I might be over-stating it there but behaviour like that generally only gets worse unless it's addressed.

Once OP has recovered from the relief of being allowed back into his own house, a serious grown up conversation is needed about to handle situations like that in future.
 
[HB]Rugrat said:
We all overreact at times, especially where our kids are concerned, but that doesn't mean we deprive our partner of access to their own home and child. It was way, WAY out of proportion and is crossing into coercive behaviour territory. I might be over-stating it there but behaviour like that generally only gets worse unless it's addressed.

Once OP has recovered from the relief of being allowed back into his own house, a serious grown up conversation is needed about to handle situations like that in future.
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She didn't deprive him of that, she threatened to, which I agree is still disproportionate to what happened, but it's not the same thing. If these are ingrained maladaptive behaviours of hers, the OP probably doesn't have the tools to deal with them and she needs professional help.

As far as I know, he didn't leave the house, so there was no allowing him back in? Threatening to walk out or asking a partner to spend the night somewhere else isn't uncommon when people have a bad argument. I agree that they need to have a serious conversation about what happened though.
 
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