Going on a date tonight for a the first time in a while - Very Nervous..!!

Rich_L - thanks for that... That was a very good post... Bluetonic has a good point about the mobile as well... Yes I'll turn it off BEFORE I meet her.

I'll be fine, been years since I've been on a date - no wonder I'm so nervous.

Also, I don't mind the jokes being posted in the thread... I'm really looking forward to the date, the humour in the post has made me laugh...

I just hope I don't think back to this tonight and laugh and she says "what's funny"... Oh how bad would that be..

I'll let you know how it goes... ;) I'm still pleased to get the date, who knows this could be the one... We got on 'very' well via email...
 
Rich L's advice is good, but only read to about half way down, dont go there with the intention of ;) (this will all make sense shortly!) but iv found if you just go there with a smile on your face, not obvious intentions, and just there to say hi that nearly always gets you where you wanna be :D If you go there constantly thinking 'i wanna get in there' it never really works, must be the way you come across in different mindsets or something ? ah well, just be yourself and talk lots, but make sure she talks the most :D Women like to be wanted and be found interesting, so thats why you gotta let her talk about herself alllll night :p
 
I met up with this girl via dating direct - didnt take it too seriously but had a nice time. 6 months later we were married :eek: :D

It does work, just be yourself and above all try to enjoy it.
 
leaskovski said:
lol! Have you read the game!? ;)
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I detest that book with a passion. I've lost a good friend to that stupid book because of the ****** he turned into once around my close female friends were around. They don't like, it doesn't work. :mad: :mad: :mad:
 
Greenlizard0 said:
I detest that book with a passion. I've lost a good friend to that stupid book because of the ****** he turned into once around my close female friends were around. They don't like, it doesn't work. :mad: :mad: :mad:
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lol, that stuff doesnt work on uk birds. They are too clever for it. Its funny as fudge though! My misses told me to read it :D
 
iv-tecman said:
Looking for good tips, make her laugh perhaps? I always think a quick laugh can ease you out a nervous situation.
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How much does a polar bear weigh?
I don't know, but it broke the ice.

My only advice is don't try to be 'nice', just be yourself. Listen as well as talk, and dont be nervous.
 
leaskovski said:
lol! Have you read the game!? ;)

Edit,

Oh to the op, make sure you tell her that you are an o-o-o-o-overcocker :D
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Aye, I read it a while back, it was quite interesting seeing a lot of things which I 'just do' from experience put into text as a codified 'how to get girls'!

I wouldn't take what the book says too seriously though, the underlying theme throughout is simply that being confident is attractive, the majority of 'routines' are simply designed to distract the person from their shyness and give the impression of confidence, which if a person does enough it becomes part of their personality and they will be confident, which isn't rocket science to be honest!

I detest that book with a passion. I've lost a good friend to that stupid book because of the ****** he turned into once around my close female friends were around. They don't like, it doesn't work.
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I agree, I think it can certainly be seductive reading especially if it works once or twice it can end up being almost a psychological crutch to make up for the lack of confidence, rather than being used as a means to build up confidence itself. The book isn't a guideline to live your life, but more an interesting story of a guy's life :)
 
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Is this some wierd joke that I'm not understanding????

just listen to what she says and pretend to be interested - from what I've understand of the female race is that the talk about things in great detail; thats why their phone bills are massive...

Physical contact as soon as possible is good to break the ice, but not in a pervy way... holding her hand and guiding her though the people in the pub after ordering a drink is a good way....

say something looks good on her - look for something thats looks old, as it may look battered and rublish to you, but if shes had it for a long time its likley that shes really likes the item/thinks it looks good on her and has a few story to tell you...

Do not answer your phone or reply to text messages and make sure shes knows that by letting her see you hang up or say I speak to them later - as this is her time with you and it should not be disturbed by anyone else also she will likley to the same after seeing you do it so she wont sit there texting people...

being ALPHA is something that you can't turn on, it takes time to learn to be a good Alpha and not a prat of an alpha...

more advice is avaible but its time to go home for me.
 
Rich_L said:
Rich_L's Guide to being Alpha

Preparation

1. Put a bottle of wine in the fridge*
2. As you get ready, get psyched, whatever you usually do, listen to some chooons as you get ready, get your lucky pants/jeans/shirt/whatever on, lil dab of aftershave - ready to go.
3. Have a cheeky shot of something before you go out to warm you up!

*this will make sense later

Date itself

You've had a couple of exchanges already over t'internet so don't greet her like a stranger, it's a dating site after all - greet her confidently with a smile, maybe slip in a cheeky compliment (but not too keen) and give her a peck on the cheek, but approach with your whole body and not just leaning forward, brush your hand on her hip as you do so, she probably wont notice but subconsciously the physical contact will register.

Start off easy, ask how her day's been, ask her if she's been to the place you are meeting before/what she thinks of it - I always find that saying you haven't been somewhere before or only been there once helps break the atmosphere as it transfers some of the nervousness to the surroundings instead of the situation :)

Just remember girls love to talk so go from there - ask some leading questions first off and let her do most of the talking, it'll help ease some of her nervousness and make her feel more comfortable with you, then ease yourself into the conversation. Stay away from 'flash-topics' at the start(race, religion, politics, previous relationships! ) and keep things bubbling along! with small-talk

Remember - lots of eye-contact and smiling. Be expressive (use your hands etc) when you talk as well, it will hold her attention more than simply talking and she'll find you more interesting because of it.

At this point I think it's worth bringing up this vital point - DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH with nervousness, especially when you're listening to her it's tempting to keep sipping your drink, before you know it you'll be hammered :p

Ok, so now you've both loosened up a bit and are chatting away about all sorts of things, you're getting comfortable with each other all's good. Now - you need to step up a gear and the absolute ideal place in my experience is a decent, busy bar with music on in the background and not enough seating room - this forces you to get close to each other to speak, and standing means you are able to step up a notch quite easily by resting your hand on her hip when you talk to her, you have close eye contact and can have a bit of fun.

Sealing the deal - now this'll depend on how she's been reacting to your previous advances, towards the end of the night when she's feeling nicely warmed up as are you, you need to start making the 'uncomfortable silences' At a point where a conversation ends, let eye contact and silence last that little bit longer than it would normally and see if she holds it as well - if she does then you're doing well, but you break it off with a smile to let her know it was your doing :cool:

So now you've made it clear that there's a bit of a spark there and more than a little mutual attraction you move on to the endgame, all the chasing is done and the hunt is nearly over. You can go two ways:

1. Go for the kill - when you leave the bar say that you have a bottle of wine back at yours (see start!) thats sitting round waiting to be opened, does she fancy coming back to yours and cracking it open? If she says yes, you are sooo in there....wait till you get back, show her around your place, at an opportune doorway, right hand on her hip, left hand gesturing into room, she turns around to leave..you stay where you are...you end up facing each other very close...eye contact..hold...dip head in for kiss...*Shapow*.

2. Keep her keen - Offer to accompany her back to hers to make sure she gets home ok. On the doorstep or wherever you eventually part ways, hold her hand, eye contact and say you really enjoyed the evening and would like to do it again, hopefully she agrees...cue silence & eye contact, move head slowly in for kiss...*shapow*. As you break kiss, smile and say you should be getting back, but you'll call her to sort out next time...walk off into the distance, maybe a cheeky look over the shoulder to see if she's looking too (awesome if she is because then you're definitely in ) and off you skip to wait for next time.

Hmm, think that covers it - works for me anyway (OMG I've given away my seeekrits!) :p
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Copy....paste......save :p

All sounds very good. I prefered the "the musics **** here,wanna leave and go to yours" that works well for a one nighter but maybe not a good way to go if you want a relationship.
 
You need to yap on for a good 3 hours and make sure you ask her questions and thats it really, also do go with a loaded gun or the whole thing will be a bit pointless, you will have no drive to actually bother talking to her for over 30 mins unless the weapon is 'hot'. End of the night as you leave give her a tap on the bum good night and slip a piccy of yourself in with your number on the back, should do it.
 
Jonny ///M said:
Copy....paste......save :p

All sounds very good. I prefered the "the musics **** here,wanna leave and go to yours" that works well for a one nighter but maybe not a good way to go if you want a relationship.
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Very good, in a theoretical and fake world.

Every date is different, just like every girl is different. There is no formula there is only you and your ability to charm. The art is to be able to 'read' a girl correctly as soon as possible and adjust this information into your game plan. This includes, but is not limited to, her personality, beliefs, morals, likes, dislikes and ultimately her responsiveness to your advances. For instance, if she is quiet, shy and reserved you would do better being flirtatious and interested. If she is louder and more boisterous, you would do better being more fun and nonchalant.

Oh and all girls, even the confident ones, are riddled with insecurities about their looks. Look for signs of complement 'fishing' and exploit for greatest effect.
 
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