Help, Indian virgin

Big Chris said:
I wonder how you'd react if something genuinely shocking happened to you?
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OMGZOAREQ21 I CNT BELIVESE U JOSSUT ASID DAT1 WFT111!

I think that came out quite well for ham-fisted typing :)

OP - Madras or go home! If things are too spicy, another tip is to rub salt inside your mouth - works pretty well :)

Interestingly I heard Tikka Massala was invented in Birmingham which wouldn't surprise me, so don't go for that unless you talk funny :D
 
No matter what you eat be prepared for Ring Sting in the morning. :D

Not eaten an Indian. WTF is going on here then. :p
Eating Indians is all in the prep mate.
Firstly dress up nice.
Secondly Drink like a fish whatever you get your hands on.
Thirdly Eat whatevers put in front of you.
Fourthly Make sure you are sick everywhere on the way home.

Disclaimer.
I do not advocate drinking in excess or eating indians.
( All lies to be honest )
 
d3adm0nk3y said:
Hi all you ocuk's. I need help, I'm going out with my clan tonight for an indian. The problem is I've never had indian before, and I know if I as them they'll stuff me up :).
So what do you recommend for an indian virgin, it needs to be fairly mild, but tasty.
Thanks in advance.
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Indian virgin, want something fairly mild and tasty and worried of getting stuffed up *rubs eyes*

Well if its food you want then King Prawn Madras ist ta yum
 
Haylee Jayne said:
omg youve not had an indian lol
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Laugh all you want but I didn't have my first Indian until I was 40 years old.
I've only had another two in the last eight years.

After my first one I paid the bill because I was also teetotal all my life up until I was nearly 41 :eek:
I asked the waiters/staff what they eat because I'd just witnessed another 9 workmates basically trying to outdo each other with currys.
Most of them replied that they had pie and chips etc :)
I then asked them what they ate when they had a curry and if they had the very strong ones like all my mates did and every one of them replied that strong currys are basically for European white men trying to outdo each other.
 
Are we talking indian food or an indian girl :o

If its food the only advise i can give you is to buy some really soft toilet paper for the day after.

If its a girl, just be nice.

And i never knew you were so old dmpoole :p
 
dmpoole said:
Laugh all you want but I didn't have my first Indian until I was 40 years old.
I've only had another two in the last eight years.

After my first one I paid the bill because I was also teetotal all my life up until I was nearly 41 :eek:
I asked the waiters/staff what they eat because I'd just witnessed another 9 workmates basically trying to outdo each other with currys.
Most of them replied that they had pie and chips etc :)
I then asked them what they ate when they had a curry and if they had the very strong ones like all my mates did and every one of them replied that strong currys are basically for European white men trying to outdo each other.
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The only reason I have spicy food is to feel like i've sweated it off afterwards :p
 
the rogan josh dishes are your best bet, they are tomatoe based mild dishes that can be eaten with rice or naan, its abit more exotic than some indian dishes which have been very westernised too. what ever you do, dont have a phal.

Top Tip...

if you decide to have something spicey, ask for a glass of milk, the spices in the foods are acidic by nature, milk is an alkaline, remember the PH scale at school ? :) youl cancel out the acids and stop your mouth from burning. it also helps to avoid explosive diarrhea.
 
vindaloo makes you .......

Korma would be best for your first indian and "maybe" try a fork full of other peoples just to taste how hot they are.

also i find drinking larger makes the currys more spicy (if its a hot one that is)
 
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