Help with absenteism

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I might be far out of line here but judging from some of your replies im starting to think you _MIGHT_ be trolling.

Sincere apologies if not, just wondered if anyone else thought the same?
 
self confidence? i mean she's 12.. she's now getting into that age where she gets interested being with boys (in a childish way) you know what im talking about.. i remember that at age of around 12-14 all girls in my class went crazy.. which could be putting her of going to school.. talk with her make her feel confident about how she looks etc.. and see if that has any effect..
 
moremoney said:
Facts: We can and will be fined no matter how hard we try to get her into school.

She can, and will be, as a last resort taken into care.

I have just told her to lie down and go to sleep, she begged me not to shut the door but because of this, i did shut the door.
As a means of punishing her.
It makes me feel like crying.

But i don't know what else to do. i know she has no intention of going to school tommorrow
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Sounds like she's scared of something? Don't know just grasping, I would seek professional help pal. Hope it goes well for you.
 
moremoney said:
Facts: We can and will be fined no matter how hard we try to get her into school.

She can, and will be, as a last resort taken into care.

I have just told her to lie down and go to sleep, she begged me not to shut the door but because of this, i did shut the door.
As a means of punishing her.
It makes me feel like crying.

But i don't know what else to do. i know she has no intention of going to school tommorrow
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To be quite honest, it sounds like you're bullying her at home anyway, i'm not surprised she refuses to open up.

Jamesftw said:
I might be far out of line here but judging from some of your replies im starting to think you _MIGHT_ be trolling.

Sincere apologies if not, just wondered if anyone else thought the same?
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The thought had crossed my mind.
 
Jamesftw said:
I might be far out of line here but judging from some of your replies im starting to think you _MIGHT_ be trolling.

Sincere apologies if not, just wondered if anyone else thought the same?
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wouldn't surprise me he usually makes up threads after something in the new/another forum member makes one.


my bet is on this one being in response to the girl getting tasered, like his needle in the groin one was to the guy who accidentally OD'd on pain meds.

I'm pretty sure he's one of the people who has a go when someone posts personal stuff and asks for advice on here so it seems very strange.


That and the fact he said his daughter was 13 a couple of threads ago...
 
Thanks, but maybe i shouldn't of started this thread, it just makes me realise that we are getting nowhere, we have tried it all and are banging our heads against a brick wall.
 
You need some professional guidance and expertise here, not some random thoughts from a computer forum. I'm actually astonished you're even posting this.

Take it seriously, speak to whoever can genuinely help you and deal with what sounds like a very demanding issue. Don't post about it on the internet.
 
Don't avoid getting help, especially if its your worry about the stigma attached to mental health. I've dealt with CAMHS units - (Child And Adolescent Mental Health Service) and they really want to help the kids.
 
moremoney said:
I have just told her to lie down and go to sleep, she begged me not to shut the door but because of this, i did shut the door.
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however if it is true that's pretty much going to = abandonment and that you really don't care about her, you only care about the problems she is causing you, in her head.

True or not it's probably what she'll think.
 
Tefal said:
however if it is true that's pretty much going to = abandonment and that you really don't care about her, you only care about the problems she is causing you, in her head.

True or not it's probably what she'll think.
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I think if this is true, he needs to learn the difference between punishment/discipline and being a **** to your kid.
 
There appears to be an endless list of articles online that cover this problem.

Apparently 'school refusal' is considered to be a recognised disorder. I would guess that providing she can be assessed and deemed to be suffering said disorder, then you should be able to avoid any fines etc....

Amidst the mountains of hits returned by googling 'My child wont go to school', this article seems pretty comprehensive.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article4199763.ece

Good Luck :)
 
Have you considered moving her to a different school? ask her if she wants to move schools, that might help in getting to know what the problem is

Also, if she's being bullied, and the bullying is so bad that she doesn't want to go to school, it could be hard to get her to talk. Maybe ask some of her close friends at school what the problem is?
 
Mik3 said:
Is it possible she might be getting bullied?
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Speaking from experience this could well be the problem.

My daughter is 11, about a year ago we had the same problem as you are having now, to cut a long story short we found out she was picked on by another girl at school.
It took days of the same sort of behaviour your daughter is displaying and eventually we found out the reason via one of her friends.
A visit to the school and a chat with the Head teacher and it was sorted the next day.
Kids can be very cruel but they can also be very sensitive too, i may be wrong but in my opinion your daughter is afraid to go to school, either because she is being picked on, she has been naughty and is afraid of a certain teacher, she is behind/finding work difficult.

If you can, speak to her friends.

**I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if i have repeated others' advice**
 
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