Homer Simpson Quotes

"You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?!"

 
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my favourite has to be when homer is giving his marriage guidance and has been banned from talking about his sex life (by marge) so to keep his students interested he says:

"Lets just say mr X and mrs Y are in bed and mr X rolls over and says 'If this doesnt get your motor revving marge then my name isnt Homer J. Simpson!"

or words to that effect, makes me laugh everytime
 
Grampa: I think Rudyard Kipling said it best: If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss, yours is the earth is everything that is in it, and, which is more, you'll be a man, my son.

Homer: You'll be a bonehead!
 
"All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to slowly killing you with beer."
 
Kreeeee said:
Love that episode. :)

There's a great quote from this episode as well:


It's not in the vid, it's later on in the episode, when Marge finds out Homer hasn't got rid of the gun as promised, he hid it in the freezer instead.

"But Marge, I swear I never thought you'd find out" :D
 
Kreeeee said:

Ahh! I love that episode!

Bit before that is my favourite

"To start press any key... Wheres the "any" key!! I see Esc... Ctrl and Pgup.. there doesn't seem to be any "any" key!

Phew.. all this computer hacking is making me thirsty, I think i'l order a tab *presses tab*

Oops! Can't stop now.. computers starting!"

:D
 
Jaffa_Cake said:
Ahh! I love that episode!

Bit before that is my favourite

"To start press any key... Wheres the "any" key!! I see Esc... Ctrl and Pgup.. there doesn't seem to be any "any" key!

Phew.. all this computer hacking is making me thirsty, I think i'l order a tab *presses tab*

Oops! Can't stop now.. computers starting!"

:D

Hmm, they have the internet on computers now? :D
 
Not a Homer quote but still funny:

Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube :D
 
lee32uk said:
Not a Homer quote but still funny:

Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube :D

That was a phone message for Mr Burns when Smithers went on holiday and left Homer in charge of Burns' affairs. :)
 
wedgie22 said:
Love that episode. :)

There's a great quote from this episode as well:


It's not in the vid, it's later on in the episode, when Marge finds out Homer hasn't got rid of the gun as promised, he hid it in the freezer instead.

"But Marge, I swear I never thought you'd find out" :D


Homer: 5 days? But I'm mad now!


Another classic :D :D :D
 
i have 2 short, but funny favourites, they go like so:

"Ahhhhhh, a hungry hungry hippo!!"

and

"sorry doesnt put fingers on hands marge!!!"
 
“(Lisa) "I'm going to become a vegetarian" (Homer) "Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?" "Yes" "Bacon?" "Yes Dad" Ham?" "Dad all those meats come from the same animal" "Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!"”

:D
 
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