House mate situation

Personally, I'd shake his hand, move his stuff out and start looking for someone that can pay the rent.

I'd rather take the loss now and let him use whatever money he has to move his backside out than have him continue to live there not paying rent, costing you more in the long run and I'm not sure but won't his debt go against that address?

You take a small loss now and can just move on with your life, do it, learning experience and look to the future! :)

dalehitchy1 said:
My other half is a dude and he's straight....i v much doubt it lol
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Yeah that's what they all say ;)
 
mjt said:
£600 isn't pocket change, but your friend got cancer and you're being a dick.
Be a proper friend and tell him to take the takeaway job. It's all he can get at the moment. Maybe you can support him and talk some sense into him. You've been friends for 8 years!
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I generally don't like this sort of post, but I can agree somewhat. Also, the post regarding withholding belongings is correct, you'll be in trouble if he complains to the police about it, so I'd not be doing that.

Maybe the guy is a bit lazy, maybe the cancer is seriously affecting his physical and mental health? Bit of both? The question is are you a good person or not?

Not sure what kind of response you expected on here, tbh. :confused:
 
Kaeo said:
I generally don't like this sort of post, but I can agree somewhat. Also, the post regarding withholding belongings is correct, you'll be in trouble if he complains to the police about it, so I'd not be doing that.

Maybe the guy is a bit lazy, maybe the cancer is seriously affecting his physical and mental health? Bit of both? The question is are you a good person or not?

Not sure what kind of response you expected on here, tbh. :confused:
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Fair enough. I've taken both points into consideration. I suppose I only really know what situation truly im in and I do feel like I've been taken advantage of. He wasn't paying his way on time long before his update on his bowels. I've fed him, housed him, paid his fines, his car insurance but there is only so much I can do for him before I get myself into a financial situation.

I also don't take too kindly that I look after him as he has no money but he has the money go drinking with mates or take girls out on dates he's met off tinder. If he was really struggling he wouldn't be ordering take away every other night instead of going to the supermarket and getting a decent meal (I cant imagine these kebabs being healthy for his bowels either).

Anyway, you lot have guilted me and so ill take the advice of letting him off my £600 and giving his belongings back.... But I don't think I can support him anymore in his volunteer work, or help him find an actual job as all he seems to want to do is take from me.... Nor do I think we will be good friends after this as I feel like he has taken advantage.
 
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dalehitchy1 said:
Thanks for being on my side but that comment was a little harsh at the end and not needed
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Apologies :o

Having a rough night with a gassy baby.

I called you a bit of a dick originally, but then after reading more of him I did a total 180 and went a bit overboard -_-
 
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grass him up to HMRC also as he is no doubt skipping on NI and Tax payments if he is getting paid under the table cash in hand. I am with the OP on this one. His mate quit a perfectly steady paying job at sainsbury and now expects others to pick up his mess. Forget it. Also 8 years isn't exactly a long time with regards to being mates.
 
Ring Ring, Hello HMRC, my mate of 8 years (not exactly a long time, just 1/3 of my life) with cancer, I am subletting to, is probably skipping on NI and getting paid in cash, so he's probably a terrorist as well. When will I get my Stalininist reporters medal?
 
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wildman said:
His mate quit a perfectly steady paying job at sainsbury and now expects others to pick up his mess. Forget it. Also 8 years isn't exactly a long time with regards to being mates.
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Kind of mixed opinion on that aspect - Sainsburys has a reasonably positive reputation as a place to work but if you end up under a bad manager and on the lower end of the pay scale that can be pretty miserable.

On the other hand there is a right way and a wrong way to act if you fall into bad times and depend on the generosity of someone else.
 
Don't be an arse he is moving out. Cut your losses £600 is nothing when you look at the grand scheme of things.

It is illegal to hold on to his possession unless a court has ordered so.

Give him his stuff back and if he is a real true friend to you, then take it on the chin like a man.

8 years is not really along time to establish true friendship. I have 2 very good real friends I have know for over 30 years.

Just ignore the money and support him no matter what he does providing you think he is a true friend. ;)
 
Rroff said:
Kind of mixed opinion on that aspect - Sainsburys has a reasonably positive reputation as a place to work but if you end up under a bad manager and on the lower end of the pay scale that can be pretty miserable.

On the other hand there is a right way and a wrong way to act if you fall into bad times and depend on the generosity of someone else.
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Job wise he didn't fall into bad times, he chose to put himself there, he quit Sainsbury's and chose to work somewhere that isn't paying him steady. Thats not falling on bad times, that's called being an idiot
 
£1,000 isn't that much money in the grand scheme of things, but it's still not an amount that I wouldn't like to be down by either. The way I see it is, your house mate has far bigger problems that need dealing with, rather than what they owe you.
 
It sounds like you've gone above and beyond for them, and they've taken advantage. Personally, I'd ask them to put in writing the fact they owe you money and then let them repay you in instalments. If you did want to go to court, you really want to show you've been reasonable and given them ample opportunity to repay.

If he refuses to sign it, I'd write off the £600 and be done with them altogether. If I owed a mate some cash, I'd pay them back as best I could. I would never dodge a debt altogether, no matter my circumstances. If he does that to you, he's no friend in my view.
 
darael said:
£1,000 isn't that much money in the grand scheme of things, but it's still not an amount that I wouldn't like to be down by either. The way I see it is, your house mate has far bigger problems that need dealing with, rather than what they owe you.
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Agreed.... But I feel like he's done a 'ill take what I can get then run. I've been supportive of his condition, so has my partner. We have helped out with some of his debt and found him 3 paying jobs he wont take... His problems wont go away by bleeding other people dry

£1000 may not be much for you but that kind if money is for me (especially since the new law doesn't allow me to claim expenses anymore so that now puts me at £40 above minimum wage). Anyway what's done is done now.
 
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The is one very important lesson I learned in life is that, money is not everything.

Health is top no matter how much money you have it will not fix ill health.

If you feel he has taken the proverbial urine, just give him his stuff and walk away.

I have done this a few times, one friend I thought I known nearly 15 years and he bumped me for a grand. He never heard from me again. Another I had so called friend know for 4 years bumped me for £120 when I was on my arse, never spoke to him again.
 
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