How To Get Hubby To Pay His Way

Sounds like this fella has ascended past the red pill and has swallowed the Giga pill. He should write one of those dating strategy books, he'll be asking people what colour their Bugatti is in no time.
 
SpellowHouse said:
Yes, just to confirm. They have been married about ten years, she has a daughter who has moved out and they have no children together. They both work full time. She earns about 50% or so more than him. He pays for his own cars and phone but apart from that, he contributes nothing financially to the relationship. That includes meals, heating, mortgage, Sky TV, etc, all of which she pays by herself.
He does decorate the house but he himself does not actually do any building work, he just brings in people to do it and sources materials. She pays for it all. His quotes are bad as well, lol. He quoted £8-10K for the kitchen for example and it ended up costing her £14K
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Did she already own the house before they got married? Does he still see it as "her" house or something?
 
Seems like you can't do anything. Even though it's a sibling sometimes you just have to let people live thier lives.

Its quite sad as obviously he doesn't love her. He loves the lifestyle.

I do wonder how people in these situations perceive the relationship? Everyone's thoughts are unique and their own but would be interesting to know if she's deluded, blind to it, or just accepting.



Was wondering about her self asteem. Is she well off and unattractive? Like the more typical rich older guy dating an attractive younger girl.
 
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SpellowHouse said:
Yes, just to confirm. They have been married about ten years, she has a daughter who has moved out and they have no children together. They both work full time. She earns about 50% or so more than him. He pays for his own cars and phone but apart from that, he contributes nothing financially to the relationship. That includes meals, heating, mortgage, Sky TV, etc, all of which she pays by herself.
He does decorate the house but he himself does not actually do any building work, he just brings in people to do it and sources materials. She pays for it all. His quotes are bad as well, lol. He quoted £8-10K for the kitchen for example and it ended up costing her £14K
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Lol. Quoting your own wife to do up your shared Kitchen.

Incredible.
 
SpellowHouse said:
And yes, if you think this is frustrating, it sure is, but she is like this. She will sit on the fence for years when faced with a decision that she doesn't want to make.
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Tbh.. there isn't much you can do if she's like that, you can only nudge or prompt, you'll probably end up making things worse for your relationship with your sister if you keep on nagging about it or push too much for her to do something.

Are your parents still alive? Like it's perhaps more of a concern for them - has your dad not kicked off about it for example? Also, did they give any money towards the house purchase?

One thing to consider, if they are still alive and have some assets they are planning to pass onto yourself and your sister is for them to get some legal advice... if she's going to drag this on and is at risk of having it blow up years down the line, perhaps he does start contributing a bit etc.. but is still a pain and eventually they divorce then it would be a shame if she's inherited some substantial sum which later needs to be split with him... And it's not clear that she is fully protected here, he might be nudged into doing a bit, paying a little bit of his own way once the car payments have finished and that can complicate things when the default approach seems to be for judges to look to split marital assets equally and then maybe be persuaded otherwise by arguments over who contributed what.

Lots of boomers who own property will have a substantial sum to pass onto their gen X or millennial offspring might be worth exploring things like trusts etc..
 
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Meddling-Monk said:
Unfortunately, this appears to be one of those instances where the personality of the person (the sister) is also quite strong willed (else they would not have got together with such a person with so many red flags, and stayed with them for TEN years). So helping them raise their self esteem won't work, as it's not REALLY their self esteem that's the problem.
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Its the weak willed person who will ignore red flags and stay around for 10 years, not strong willed, you have it mixed up.

It will work, assuming you can increase self esteem somehow, which for women i have no clue how that works.

But i dont quite understand how you believe these are the traits of a strong willed person?
 
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