How To Get Hubby To Pay His Way

So not only isn't he paying anything, he's got a Porsche on the drive. Funny what you can afford when you aren't paying for the roof over your head.
 
Worthy said:
So not only isn't he paying anything, he's got a Porsche on the drive. Funny what you can afford when you aren't paying for the roof over your head.
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Yeah I see plenty people on the dole and have nice house inside, nice car and clothes. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth worker :/
 
I have to admit a tiny bit of me applauds him for balancing countless divorce court decisions that have broken good men... ;)

Or maybe he is bringing true equality to bear and living the good life whilst his partner puts the turkey on the table. How many wives contribute sod all financially and escape such wrath as is apparent here?

The devil's advocate goes to open a beer, been a trying day.
 
Chris Wilson said:
I have to admit a tiny bit of me applauds him for balancing countless divorce court decisions that have broken good men... ;)

Or maybe he is bringing true equality to bear and living the good life whilst his partner puts the turkey on the table. How many wives contribute sod all financially and escape such wrath as is apparent here?

The devil's advocate goes to open a beer, been a trying day.
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I think you're confusing a partner who doesn't work, whilst the other one does, but does raise the kids, do the school run, take them to appointments, do all the housekeeping,gardening & cooking etc. That would classed by a court as contributing to the marriage/matrimonial home in the event of a divorce, and rightly so as they sacrificed thier earning potential & financial contributions to contribute in other ways.

What we have here is a totally different scenario, where there are no kids that we know of, both work full time, yet one contributes 100% and the other, zero %.

But lets not let reality get in the way of a good old misogynistic rant, eh?
 
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geeser is probably a degenerate gambler. Probably has multiple online casino accounts and probably owes some unsavoury people a boat load of money. The porche is just a facade to give the impression that he is liquid.
 
mattyfez said:
I think you're confusing a partner who doesn't work, whilst the other one does, but does raise the kids, do the school run, take them to appointments, do all the housekeeping,gardening & cooking etc. That would classed by a court as contributing to the marriage/matrimonial home in the event of a divorce, and rightly so as they sacrificed thier earning potential & financial contributions to contribute in other ways.

What we have here is a totally different scenario, where there are no kids that we know of, both work full time, yet one contributes 100% and the other, zero %.

But lets not let reality get in the way of a good old misogynistic rant, eh?
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This. The dynamic of one person doing all the housework, cooking, shopping, dependent care, etc etc, whilst one person works is understandable (and it doesn't matter whichever half does what).

Both working full time and therefore presumably sharing other duties/having equal limited free time, but only having one paying for anything is just weird.
 
Chris Wilson said:
I have to admit a tiny bit of me applauds him for balancing countless divorce court decisions that have broken good men... ;)

Or maybe he is bringing true equality to bear and living the good life whilst his partner puts the turkey on the table. How many wives contribute sod all financially and escape such wrath as is apparent here?

The devil's advocate goes to open a beer, been a trying day.
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I'm surprised you haven't suggested the wife is an immigrant yet tbh :rolleyes:
 
Jono8 said:
This. The dynamic of one person doing all the housework, cooking, shopping, dependent care, etc etc, whilst one person works is understandable (and it doesn't matter whichever half does what).

Both working full time and therefore presumably sharing other duties/having equal limited free time, but only having one paying for anything is just weird.
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Yes, just to confirm. They have been married about ten years, she has a daughter who has moved out and they have no children together. They both work full time. She earns about 50% or so more than him. He pays for his own cars and phone but apart from that, he contributes nothing financially to the relationship. That includes meals, heating, mortgage, Sky TV, etc, all of which she pays by herself.
He does decorate the house but he himself does not actually do any building work, he just brings in people to do it and sources materials. She pays for it all. His quotes are bad as well, lol. He quoted £8-10K for the kitchen for example and it ended up costing her £14K
 
SpellowHouse said:
he just brings in people to do it and sources materials. She pays for it all. His quotes are bad as well, lol. He quoted £8-10K for the kitchen for example and it ended up costing her £14K
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So he brings his mates round to screw her financially as well. What a terrible situation.

No idea how she puts up with this. Maybe she could start cutting bills in the name of saving money.
 
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Chuk_Chuk said:
So he brings his mates round to screw her financially as well. What a terrible situation.

No idea how she puts up with this. Maybe she could start cutting bills in the name of saving money.
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She has very low self-esteem. You wouldn't guess it, she appears to be strong and independant, but she has been mistreated by guys all her life.
 
Chuk_Chuk said:
So he brings his mates round to screw her financially as well. What a terrible situation.

No idea how she puts up with this. Maybe she could start cutting bills in the name of saving money.
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That's what I have told her to do. But I don't think she will. She will keep on denying this situation until it really bites her.
 
SpellowHouse said:
That's what I have told her to do. But I don't think she will. She will keep on denying this situation until it really bites her.
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Maybe we are approaching this all wrong. Maybe what you need to do is work on raising her self esteem, with the hopes that she can take the initiative to put her foot down when faced with such an unbalanced situation.
 
Chuk_Chuk said:
Maybe we are approaching this all wrong. Maybe what you need to do is work on raising her self esteem, with the hopes that she can take the initiative to put her foot down when faced with such an unbalanced situation.
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Unfortunately, this appears to be one of those instances where the personality of the person (the sister) is also quite strong willed (else they would not have got together with such a person with so many red flags, and stayed with them for TEN years). So helping them raise their self esteem won't work, as it's not REALLY their self esteem that's the problem.
 
Meddling-Monk said:
So, did you ask her what her thoughts and plans are now that she's aware of this?
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I did, but she started her usual waffle which means she doesn't have any plan. I think that now she knows about the loans she is prepared to put things off an wait before she does anything. Apparently the car loan will be paid off in 2026 but some of the other loans are ending mid 2023. And yes, if you think this is frustrating, it sure is, but she is like this. She will sit on the fence for years when faced with a decision that she doesn't want to make.
 
Meddling-Monk said:
Unfortunately, this appears to be one of those instances where the personality of the person (the sister) is also quite strong willed ....
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Absolutely right about that. And I sense at the moment that she is content knowing that the problem are these loans. Once she gives up looking for a solution, moving heaven and earth will not change her mind.
My guess is that once these loans start to be paid off, he will just get more. There is no reason for him to stop because she refuses to act.
 
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SpellowHouse said:
I did, but she started her usual waffle which means she doesn't have any plan. I think that now she knows about the loans she is prepared to put things off an wait before she does anything. Apparently the car loan will be paid off in 2026 but some of the other loans are ending mid 2023. And yes, if you think this is frustrating, it sure is, but she is like this. She will sit on the fence for years when faced with a decision that she doesn't want to make.
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Very well.

My advice here is this. Don't give them any advice. They don't need it. Give them questions. Let them answer it or mull over it at least. That's the only way to change a persons actions from your description of your sister. Telling them, from you (family) won't work. Asking the questions (over time) will have the impact however.
 
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