This is the most correct statement where no children involved.
He’d stand no chance in court.
How To Get Hubby To Pay His Way
- Thread starter SpellowHouse
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This is the most correct statement where no children involved.
He’d stand no chance in court.
Nope.
Protections exist to prevent someone from marrying a person who has a big fancy house, then divorcing them a year later and demanding 50% of the estate.
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She keeps discussing this with me because she is hoping I can come up with some magic bullet to help.
Not a bargaining chip, he went through a little bad patch and it forced her to look in to the situation.
I guess it's the same as any big life problem - if you can't find an answer, it's not that there isn't an answer, its that you're avoiding the only answers that do exist, and I guess that's truth here. She has to really put her foot down over this, and I know full well that she won't.
His name isn't. It's all in her name. All the bills too. He has contributed nothing to repayment of the mortgage or the running of the house.
Absolutely this. Had a solicitor friend who told me that in the event of divorce to always have your name on the bills and to never be the one to walk out, especially if kids are involved.
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Her solicitor told her she was being generous giving him any consideration at all, the courts would see it as he deserved nothing.
Thats a good point - she should be checking her credit scores ASAP to see if any shenans are going on.
That isn't how marriages work.
Some very healthy couples have one person paying for "everything" and then the other person saves/pays for holidays.
Associate
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Fully understandable, it appears they have nowhere else to turn, and thus have opened up to you about it. So that's a good sign.
"Looking into the situation", may still be aiming for a bargaining chip. Especially with how you've described them (sister) and how they've handled events in the past.
Again; broken record, just make sure they are fully aware and onboard, and don't pressure them to a forced realisation of this road of events. An eventual realisation of this being the only viable outcome that they come to themselves means they're ready for it. Otherwise, the danger is they may blame opening up to her family about the matter and only alienate them from you. Which can lead to all sorts of unfortunate circumstances.
Yeah, that quoted bit I've highlighted is what I'm most concerned with. It means she's not ready to do so. :-/
Yes, and that would be taken into consideration, for example it's not massivley uncommon for partner A to already have the morgage, partner B moves in and simply takes on the utility bills, shopping, hollidays etc.
But partner B would be able to evidence that, which is not the case here.
It happened like that when my dad remarried and then divorced - no children involved and it transpired that not only were no contributions to the household made by her, my dad could also evidence that he'd beein paying for hollidays, her car servicing, new tyres, etc, etc. She got pretty much sod all, and was not very happy about it!
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OK so don't argue he'll get nothing then, fair?
OP is just sticking his nose in where it doesn't belong.
Also, why the hell are we even posting in this thread - this is like peak mum's net.
No. I'm merely stating facts, which are the court would look at the whole picture, so he could get nothing or he could get a percentage based on his contributions to the matrimonial home/marriage, which so far, appears to be approximatly zero.
It's his sister, I think it's entirely correct to be concerned about her welfare, especially as she's sought his advice.
Soldato
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Rather than a marriage it just seems like your sister has taken the place of a mother looking after an idiot man child.
Divorce ASAP. No respect for his wife this man has.
Divorce ASAP. No respect for his wife this man has.
Except nobody replying here said he would get nothing. Just that given what we know, he would get not 50/50 as you had implied.
OP was confided in by his sister. So they are not sticking their oar in.
Maybe you should leave the thread then and stop making comments that are plainly wrong. Not only are they wrong it has been explained by multiple people they are wrong, yet you insist you are right. Now you are moving the goalposts with some straw man argument nobody made.
Regardless if this guy is going through a bad patch, or if he is in debt, he sounds like a selfish untrustworthy *******. He is treating his wife with with zero respect and clearly has no sense of decency.
Had two sisters and a very good friend go through this kind of crap with their husbands.
- Serious debts (gambling and or living well beyond their means)
- Not paying bills
- Pretending to go out to work but sneaking back in after the wife left to intercept mail from banks re debt/mortgage arrears etc
Each time the wife was far too trusting and ended up the ones lumbered with debt like a second mortgage with their names on them. In all cases they thought they were a few years from being mortgage free, yet their loser husbands had taken out second mortgages that were in arrears, or ran up huge credit card debts.
Tell your sister to get a credit rating and to have a frank discussion with her husband. Also seek legal advice. My guess is he will gaslight her and make it sound like she is the crazy unreasonable one.
Had two sisters and a very good friend go through this kind of crap with their husbands.
- Serious debts (gambling and or living well beyond their means)
- Not paying bills
- Pretending to go out to work but sneaking back in after the wife left to intercept mail from banks re debt/mortgage arrears etc
Each time the wife was far too trusting and ended up the ones lumbered with debt like a second mortgage with their names on them. In all cases they thought they were a few years from being mortgage free, yet their loser husbands had taken out second mortgages that were in arrears, or ran up huge credit card debts.
Tell your sister to get a credit rating and to have a frank discussion with her husband. Also seek legal advice. My guess is he will gaslight her and make it sound like she is the crazy unreasonable one.
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Soldato
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Well if i were you, i would certainly want to know the truth, so i would seek to figure this out, and i would begin spying on him.
I'd want to know the financials, so hardware keylogger on the computer, easy as your sister lives there so you can come when he is not home, easy.
After that, you stalk him and collect information over a few months.
You should atleast be able to figure things out.
That all being said, i think all roads lead to divorce, i cant think of a situation where things can be resolved and improved over time.
I mean i would be secretive sure, but i would pay towards things, regardless married or not.
He would at least need to pay towards something, to be redeemable.
Something very fishy going on... If nothing else she needs to check her credit records to check for any activity she's not aware of.
I makes zero sense for a husband who allegedly works full time to be both so guarded over his finances whilst also not contributing a penny towards the mortgage or utility bills or anything?
I makes zero sense for a husband who allegedly works full time to be both so guarded over his finances whilst also not contributing a penny towards the mortgage or utility bills or anything?