How would you chat up a waitress?

ots3go · 12 Jun 2008 at 09:39

KNiVES said:
Rape is never funny. Unless it's a clown.

90% of women kiss with their eyes closed... which is why it's so hard to identify a rapist.

Hxc · 12 Jun 2008 at 10:13

Richdog said:
ZOMG LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

EDIT - ZOMG WRONG THREAD NOOOOOOOO!

Ahahahahahahaha. This got quite a serious laugh out of me for just being in this topic.

Sorry, nothing to contribute!

ICEx21 · 12 Jun 2008 at 10:22

I chatted up a bar maid inadvertantly on a night out when I was completely ******, she thought I asked her to come out with me after she finished work and I replied "not tonight tubby".
She didn't speak to me or serve me after that

So just get drunk and chat to her, also don't call her tubby at the end.

misterPK · 12 Jun 2008 at 10:28

A few years back my mate was convinced that a waitress fancied him because of the way she put his plate infront of him. We took the micheal out of him for ages for that!

PK!

fonzee · 12 Jun 2008 at 11:19

Raymond Lin said:
When she asks "Is there anything else?"

You "A date if you don't mind "

my missus gets this cheesy line all the time...

she cringes everytime

make convo, if shes interested, you'll find out...

[FnG]magnolia · 12 Jun 2008 at 11:29

Challenge her to a 1vs1 in Quake III Arena and if you win then she has to become your wife.

Molemanmus · 12 Jun 2008 at 11:35

Pestilence said:
"Is everything OK with your meal?"

"Yes, well just one thing. Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?"

+1

aslco · 12 Jun 2008 at 11:38

Dont forget the giggidy when she falls over

_dogma_ · 12 Jun 2008 at 12:17

Well, at my last job a guy that liked me wrote me a really sweet note with his phone number on it because he was too shy to speak to me. I suggest you don't do this!

Just be yourself, make conversation and just ask. There's never any harm in asking!

Good Luck

Kemik · 12 Jun 2008 at 12:30

_dogma_ said:
Well, at my last job a guy that liked me wrote me a really sweet note with his phone number on it because he was too shy to speak to me. I suggest you don't do this!

Just be yourself, make conversation and just ask. There's never any harm in asking!

Good Luck

Haha, the way you built that up I thought it went well for the guy.

Frapple · 12 Jun 2008 at 12:32

Print off OcUK post count imo. If she doesn't instantly fall in love with you, fiery punch the ovaries from orbit.

_dogma_ · 12 Jun 2008 at 12:48

Kemik said:
Haha, the way you built that up I thought it went well for the guy.

Would never have happened! If we went on a date we'd be sitting in silence all night. He used to come in almost every day and was to shy to even say hello to me on occasions. I also wasn't single...I never actually saw him again after I told him "no"....hmmmm :eek:

wannabedamned · 12 Jun 2008 at 12:55

Pestilence said:
Seriously though, forget all the damn pickup methods etc. Go to the damn establishment, not to eat/drink or anything. Request to speak to her at the desk/bar, and ask her out. Right there. Act like you have some balls.

I like that, definatly go with this. You need guts though! She may have a boyfriend, so get ready for that possible outcome

Jest3r · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:19

KNiVES said:
Remember this: you aren't the first to ask her out, and you won't be the last.

lol but wouldn't he be gutted if he found out normally it's the girls who ask her out and not the guys....

LordSplodge · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:33

Tefal said:
*Adds lord splodge to the sex offenders register*

OMG Tefal is the Government.

Burnsy2023 said:
You can't say that!

Burnsy

Doohickey said:
Not sure you can still pay her that compliment...

Seriously. She didn't look 14 and she certainley didn't have your average 14 year olds rack.

Let's make one thing clear. I did not have sexual relations with this woman.

The point is that being natural works. Sure you get rejected but it is better than cheesy chat up lines.

DannyDan · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:35

When you're deciding what to say, think about how it would sound if you were saying it to another guy. If it would sound gay, it's probably going to make you sound sleazy when you say it to her.

pitchfork · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:35

I always flirt with the waitresses. But its usually in greasy spoons so, yeah, probably different. I get responses like "you dirty bugger you" or "you been on the scrumpy my lover" to over exagerate.
Just ask her out for a drink some time mate, best way.

drusus · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:36

Tute said:
Oh god.

You can't teach being good with women. I'm sorry, but it's all psychological. If you walk up to them thinking you're going to fail, you probably will. I know as I was (and probably still am) like this, and I was doomed to failure before I opened my mouth.

Believe in yourself BlackDragon. Just ask her if she'd like to go for a drink or something. As I said, what's the worst that could happen? Certainly no worse than if you don't ask at all.

/End thread

TheBrooder · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:45

Look just tell her the truth.

Tell her you call yourself the BlackDragon from an online computer overclocking forum and after posting a thread about what to do you decided to just tell the truth ... if she doesn't fall at your feet begging then she aint the one for you

Edit: oh and don't forget to tell her your system specs and post count

Kyle009 · 12 Jun 2008 at 13:59

Find her full name out, stalk her on facebook/myspace/bebo/faceparty whatever site she is on, then talk to her about your "favourite" stuff that happens to be exactly what she has listed on her profile page.

The modern dating game...easy

Alternatively stalk her wallposts and see what club she is going to and bump into her there

Im thinking of writing a book