How would you dispose of a body?

Siliconslave said:
Find open plot in grave yard awaiting burial, dig down another foot or two, bury the body and return the next day to respects at the (double) funeral :D
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I was thinking something similar if you're in a city.

Find a building site where they are putting in foundations for a large building (preferably skyscraper), dig down a foot or so below completed earthworks. Come back next day to watch them pour concrete over burial site.

It has the added benefit of a 40 story building being built on top of it, which will make exhuming it exceptionally tricky even if they do decide they know where it's buried.:D
 
bainbridge said:
Maybe hide it in plain sight with a funeral?
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This is actually quite a smart idea assuming the holes dug for coffins are created the day before although i'm pretty clueless about the whole process. You could simply dig a bit deeper during the night dispose of the body then the next day a coffin is placed on top and nobody is any the wiser.
 
dowie said:
I'm going to assume I don't have access to a farm with pigs, large quantities of chemicals or an incinerator.


Sticking it in the bath tub and draining blood, fluids etc.. would be the first step - wash down with lots of hot water, bleach... lots more bleach, soda suds, more bleach and hot water... I then turn the oven on/clear out my freeze - I think this whole process could take couple of days or so but basically I'd cut out all flesh/organs and overcook/burn them to a crisp in the oven (some of the 'meat' would have to be bagged and stuck in the fridge or freezer temporarily and the oven running 24/7 for the 2-3 days. Probably worth re-freezing the cooked/burnt meat - then just throw in the trash/dispose of over the next month with the regular kitchen rubbish.

Hair can be burned, teeth - get a hammer, smash them to pieces, grind up the pieces until they're not recognisable as teeth... go throw in a river somewhere... ditto to the bones... cook/burn in oven then saw them into very small pieces until they're barely recognisable even if stumbled upon - throw small pieces into river(s), over several trips.
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jesus, you sound like you've done this before.
 
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You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Or there's always....

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After the last few pages - new plan: ask h4rm0ny to post in GD to ask for directions; apply the best method to both bodies; use the time it buys me to flee and begin my new life as a professional hitman. Like one of those terribad American thrillers where the killer is not the real killer and the people keep disappearing. ;) I've even got a name: 'The Pig Farm'. :p
 
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