huh? it's Thursday and i'm not laughing!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Sic
  • Start date Start date
Bessie and Jessie got incredibly drunk one night, they were staggering home when they both got the urge to pee. The most secluded place was a nearby graveyard and Jessie suggested that they nip behind a headstone.

Bessie had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take her knickers off and use them, then throw them away. Jessie however was wearing her best thong and didn't want to lose it so she found a big ribbon on a wreath and used that. Then they made their way home.

The next day Bessie's husband phoned Jessie's husband and said "I'd better keep an eye on the wife you know, she came home last night without her underwear."

"That's nothing" said Jessie's husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between her buttcheeks that said 'From all the lads at the fire station. We'll never forget you'."
 
kitten_caboodle said:
*lets back in* I thought that was funny :D
Click to expand...

Really? Thanks, but you might regret it :D

Newfie Medical Dictionary

Artery......................... The study of paintings
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die
Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section.............. A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her
Coma........................... A punctuation mark
Dilate......................... To live long
Enema.......................... Not a friend
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else
Fibula......................... A small lie
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid......................... A higher offer
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates
Node........................... I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative................. A letter carrier
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tablet......................... A small table
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport
Tumor.......................... One plus one more
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out
 
Ok so it was Joseph, I have however restrained the urge to photoshop Sic's head onto a sunday school activity book.
 
Or how about this one?

A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
"Tomorrow," his wife angrily told him, "there had better be something
in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!" The
next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the
driveway. She brought it inside, opened it.... and found a brand new
bathroom scale.

Funeral services for her husband have been set for Saturday
 
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