huh? it's Thursday and i'm not laughing!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Sic
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"Can I have some Irish Sausages please?", asked Paddy.

The Assistant looked at him and asked "Are you Irish?"

"If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was
Italian?

Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was
Jewish?
Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?

WouldYa?, Would Ya?"


The assistant says, "Well no".


"And", continued Paddy, "if I asked you for some Bourbon Whiskey,
would
you ask me if I was American? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask
me
if Iwas Danish?!!"


"Well, I probably wouldn't!"


So with self-indignation, the Irishman says, "Well, all right then! So
why ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish Sausages?!"



The Assistant replies, "Because you're in Homebase."
 
Patient: Doctor, Doctor I think I'm having a heart attack

Doctor: What makes you say that?

Patient: I'm getting shooting pains down my left arm and tightness in my chest. And I am having difficulty breathing

Doctor: Is this a joke? Oh come on, don't waste my time

:D
 
Two fish in a tank,
One turns to the other and say...
"So how do you drive this thing then?!"


The original and still the best :D
 
j00ni said:
I suspect it's jokes like this (which i was told by a critical care doc) that have caused our Intensive Care Unit to be renamed Intensive Treatment Unit (because they don't care). I can remove if people are offended
Click to expand...

maybe it should be" Insensitive Treatment Unit"?
 
A man goes to a pet shop and buys a parrot, he takes it home and puts it in the cage. after a while the parrot starts talking, but it is incredibly foul-mouthed. Almost every other word is a swear word or otherwise offensive. The parrot gets worse and worse, until eventually the man gets so fed up he grabs the parrot, and shoves it into the freezer to try and get it to shut up. it continues swearing but after a little while the noise ceases. the man realises he has probably killed the parrot and rushes to the freezer and opens it. the parrot hops out, unharmed and says "Ok, i realises i may have offended you, and i will be much better behaved from now on, but can i just ask.....
















.......what did the chicken do?"
 
A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".

Roland the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the
measles and my mum said it was contagious."

"Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says
there's a bug going round and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

Little Irish Patrick jumps up and says in a broad accent, "Our next
door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad
says it will take the contagious."
 
In a bid to eradicate the spread of bird flu, the Irish air force have just bombed the Canary Islands.


3 words, 6 letters & 1 question. Guaranteed to destroy a mans confidence.
IS IT IN?
 
Man walks into a bar....

Dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Apparently women don't have the balls for a sex change.

News Flash!
There were two ships crossing the pacific. One carrying blue paint
from Singapore to Los Angeles, and the other carrying red dyes from
America to Taiwan. Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, the two ships
met abruptly. The ships were lost to the sea and the crews of both
are believed to be marooned.
 
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