I try to be nice

jp_bl_68 said:
I try to be nice to people. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I try not to judge others, or I at least keep those judgements to myself (in real life, that is).

I've had enough of being defensive and pessimistic all the time. But it's so difficult to keep this up when you're constantly confronted by, for want of a better word, scum.

I've just been to the shops. I've barely walked two hundred yards down the road when I'm stopped by a woman who asks me if I know the area well. She continues to speak to me and, because my guard tends to be down these days, it takes me a few seconds to realise she's a junkie. The well trodden "I need bus money.....I've just come out of hospital....I need to visit my sick mother..." story is wheeled out and I'm giving her some change just to get rid of her.

On the way home I'm thinking about how she touched my hand and tried to kiss my cheek and how much I hate this waste of space. All I want to do is get home and scrub myself clean.

Half an hour passes and I no longer hate her. The more rational part of my brain wakes up and dismisses all those thoughts of rounding up junkies and beating them till they're clean, one way or another.

What I hate most is the way they make me want to be less nice to people. The way they make me want to put my guard up and keep everyone at a distance, just in case.



How do you deal with this?

How do you protect yourself from the scum without walling yourself in?



Anyway, thanks for reading.







Eagerly awaiting "cool story, bro", "tl;dr" and "worst.......thread ever".
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Someone give me a nicer way of saying sociopath.

bateman.jpg

e : turns out I'm way too late for the Bret Easton Ellis calls :(
 
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Had a guy come up to me yesterday, I had my earphones in and he said something to me, he looked like a hobo so I took the earphones out and said "what do you want?" thinking he was asking me for "spare change" (my change isn't spare). Turns out he was just asking for directions, but I felt bloody rude for assuming he wanted something more and for blurting out "what do you want" at him. Oops.
 
I usually just say I don't have any cash and walk on (I never do anyway)

And I have become too suspicious of beggars and stuff the last couple of years. In Oslo 90% of them are all organised gypsies.
 
I can understand feeling a bit disgusted if someone worms their way into your attention by starting to chat and then turns it all around wanting money and being generally disgusting... I horrible deceptive action...

I've never experienced anything like that, but in my mind I can imagine being disgusted and feeling let down... Especially if she tried to kiss you - you aren't her friend or anything, why should she feel able to take that slightly intimate physical contact without real justification... a sort of mild form of rape really.
 
Oh, and what I usually do when I get beggars in my face is to offer to buy the thing they are asking for for them, if they are genuine they will accept your offer. I also cannot help myself from buying a sausage roll from greggs to give to the chap out side begging for money from the queue of customers at lunch when I am in Manchester. Normally had people tut and moan that I was doing such a thing, yet they all happily ignored him like he wasn't there!
 
Davola said:
Oh, and what I usually do when I get beggars in my face is to offer to buy the thing they are asking for for them, if they are genuine they will accept your offer. I also cannot help myself from buying a sausage roll from greggs to give to the chap out side begging for money from the queue of customers at lunch when I am in Manchester. Normally had people tut and moan that I was doing such a thing, yet they all happily ignored him like he wasn't there!
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I just don't even bother offering them anything after a bad experience with one beggar in Belfast. Asked for money, I offered him the food and drink I'd just bought (fresh deli sandwich and unopened bottle of sprite).

He looked at me like I'd just shoved a fist up his mum and said something along the lines of "I asked for ******* money, not that."

They all get told to jog on nowadays. If they persist, they get told to jog on in a less polite manner.
 
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