If your kid was being bullied at school

I'm sorry Nix, but I can completely see why you got bullied at school.

Having panic attacks and crying, that's just not something a normal boy does, when I was younger I wasn't a very nice person, I used to fight all the time and I used to take the **** out of the kids I thought were a little different because I was the cocky confident type and had a big group of friends.

Obviously now that I've grown up and I look back it wasn't a very nice thing to do, but it is human nature at the end of the day and for as long as kids go to school there will always be kids who get picked up because they're different.

You gave them all plenty of ammunition to bully you because A) You're a wannabe Rocky, B) You cried and had Panic Attacks - which just isn't normal!

There are probably a lot more reasons which won't surface because the people who bullied you would be embarrassed to tell you to your face now that your older.
 
This thread has turned into a 'i got bullied more than you' 'my bullies had knifes! And Guns!' ' No you!' 'Oh yeah? My dad INVENTED Bullying' etc
 
My nephew used to get bullied at school and was too scared to tell the teachers. My brother then decided to get in touch with the school and address the issues to them. The school pretty much didn't do anything to solve this matter so my brother told my nephew to do the same **** back to the bully.

In a matter of a day the bully stopped picking on my nephew lol.
 
It would depend entirely on the situation with my child's friends. For example, if they are of similar ability, then I would lobby for the creation of behaviour-vetted classes and break areas.

There's lots of things that can be done or worked towards to mitigate bullying. I don't think there's a general approach that works for all scenarios.
 
It's a tough one and depends on what age group the kids fall into. When I started high school I was being picked on when walking home from school by a kid two years older than me and from another school. I knew his name and some of the people he was hanging around with.

Eventually I told my Dad what was happening, so he followed me home from school one day and when the kid approached me like he always did, my dad crossed the road and picked him up by his shirt. He made it clear that if he ever picked on me again he would regret it. Solved my problem :) Was never bullied by someone from the same high school though, so that may be a harder problem to solve.
 
What's all this high school middle school rubbish?

It was always primary school years 1 to 6, secondary school years 7 to 11 and college/sixth form years 12 to 13.
 
Nix, they used you again and again. In your scenario not fighting (after fighting back a few times) would have been better for you. Instead they knew how to wind you and and would do so for fun.
 
Jesus Nix, there was a kid at our school that was you, so to speak. I personally never took part but looking back, if i saw what was going on today id have a word, then probably be spat on and abused by them ahah.

Poor mofo often got randomly kicked, abused by 30+ people girls and boys, taunted provoked. The worst was seeing groups of 1st years, year 7? ripping into him too, covered by the older kids.... he was just a wipping boy.

Not entirely sure what happened to him, think he joined the army in the end..
 
Blimey Nix, I feel for you, my own experience is a watered down version of yours. The problem is that, for me, it's always coming from people who I would consider my 'friends'
 
My dad looked like a big old *****. Big fella, tattoos everywhere. I had beef at school he went up there, top off flexed at the head teacher and it was sorted the next day. My dad basically said either the teacher sorts it or my dad will...

Didn't really get much crap, being 6 foot + and 15 + stone.
 
Interesting how people look at things.

Just relating to Nix, and from my own experience, but i can understand the whole being provoked easily situation. When you are bullied for an extended period, you can become very frustrated and angry at your situation and as a result you can become touchy of things, even if they are silly and mundane in hindsight. Could anyone really blame someone in that situation for possibly developing a short fuse? You loose perspective on whats actually happening to you, and how to react to it properly. I think it's something that has to be experienced to be understood properly tbh.

While the bullied may give the bullies 'ammunition' it still doesn't make it right. I wonder how many people who are bullied would turn out to be completely different if they were treated with a little more decency and respect. I'd imagine quite a few.

Personally in hindsight, the best approach i think is to go by the mantra of '**** em' to put it simply. Letting the 'seeds' take route and allowing them to grow is the worst you could do tbh.
 
asim18 said:
Definitely a troll with nothing to post relating to the subject at hand, other than blatant attempts to get a reaction from me and start an arguement. I ignored you the 1st time, but you continued.
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You are entitled to your opinion.

From your other posts I have had the misfortune of reading I'd say you have a lot more problems that attributed to this and the fact your parents aren't 'normal' probably didn't help.

That or too much GTA :p

If anyone thinks that helping your bullies transport drugs and being a complete bitch is the way to get things sorted out, then well, wow. There are so many reasons why that is just stupid.
 
Mate you do what you do in any situation, clearly this way worked for him. I cant imagine running to some perceived authority is gonna save you in that situation. More likely get you properly hurt.

im just glad i grew up in a nicer area of London. My cousins are from Tower Hamlets/ Southwark they lived on some of the pikeiest estates ive ever seen, they turned out ok aswell, but had plenty of trouble on the way too.

so yeah i understand why asim did it his way. Its not some public school boys stealing 50p off each other.
 
I'm quite glad I grew up somewhere that everyone got along, regardless of people being different and some not even "normal".

I can also understand how people do what they do to get by. When you are younger, what happens in school feels like the end of the world no matter how minor it might look now.
 
Maz said:
I'm sorry Nix, but I can completely see why you got bullied at school.

Having panic attacks and crying, that's just not something a normal boy does, when I was younger I wasn't a very nice person, I used to fight all the time and I used to take the **** out of the kids I thought were a little different because I was the cocky confident type and had a big group of friends.

Obviously now that I've grown up and I look back it wasn't a very nice thing to do, but it is human nature at the end of the day and for as long as kids go to school there will always be kids who get picked up because they're different.

You gave them all plenty of ammunition to bully you because A) You're a wannabe Rocky, B) You cried and had Panic Attacks - which just isn't normal!

There are probably a lot more reasons which won't surface because the people who bullied you would be embarrassed to tell you to your face now that your older.
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You misunderstand. The panic attacks and crying were coping mechanisms brought on after years of bullying. The panic attacks were at home, out of sight. The crying was on one particular occassion where I effectively just broke down because I couldn't, or rather didn't want to take it anymore - this was after a good solid 4-5 years of it and I was feeling very, very sorry for myself. It had nothing to do with me as a person.

Morba said:
Nix, they used you again and again. In your scenario not fighting (after fighting back a few times) would have been better for you. Instead they knew how to wind you and and would do so for fun.
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I can appreciate why you think that from what I've written, but you'll have to take my word for it that it really wasn't that. It wasn't that I was easy to wind up. As I said earlier, I think my problem was I was too patient with too many people for too long. I had someone in my year who was easy to get a reaction out of and he was picked on too, albeit for that reason. In my case, it really was just the 'thing to do' - there's no other explanation for it. I don't know why it started (I started school about a month later than the rest of the year due to moving and I had a different accent so could've been that) but once it did, everyone just wanted to get in on it and no one knew when to stop. They'd be a friend one day, and the next day they'd be joining in trying to throw me to the floor so they could jump on me. I wish it was because I was quick to react, as at least then, the whole thing would make sense.

Demoniser said:
Interesting how people look at things.

Just relating to Nix, and from my own experience, but i can understand the whole being provoked easily situation. When you are bullied for an extended period, you can become very frustrated and angry at your situation and as a result you can become touchy of things, even if they are silly and mundane in hindsight. Could anyone really blame someone in that situation for possibly developing a short fuse? You loose perspective on whats actually happening to you, and how to react to it properly. I think it's something that has to be experienced to be understood properly tbh.

While the bullied may give the bullies 'ammunition' it still doesn't make it right. I wonder how many people who are bullied would turn out to be completely different if they were treated with a little more decency and respect. I'd imagine quite a few.

Personally in hindsight, the best approach i think is to go by the mantra of '**** em' to put it simply. Letting the 'seeds' take route and allowing them to grow is the worst you could do tbh.
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I put up with everything for far too long. The casual teasing I would never react to, but that teasing would always be directed at me. If someone misbehaved in a class, the whole class would blame me and then the teacher would chuck me out, despite sitting on my own and quietly. It was a fashionable thing to do more than anything. As I said, it's unique and you really don't understand it at all if you think I brought it on myself because I really didn't. It was almost like a game to see how much I could take before they broke me. They didn't, they couldn't, so they kept pushing.

I would always react if someone was squaring up to me (which often happened as people got the idea in their head that I must be weak as people were always singling me out). I'd never back down and I'd always give them hell. I wouldn't react to every little thing. I only reacted to little things after about 4-5 years and that's when it finally ended but I'm not sure that's the whole reason why. I think people just grew bored and wanted to concentrate on exam time too.

If I did bring it on myself, I'm positive someone from school would have explained it to me by now. I've asked several people over the years and the answer is always the same "I don't know. I thought you were alright really. Just the thing to do I guess. Sorry."
 
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Nix said:
You misunderstand. The panic attacks and crying were coping mechanisms brought on after years of bullying. The panic attacks were at home, out of sight. The crying was on one particular occassion where I effectively just broke down because I couldn't take it anymore - this was after a good solid 4-5 years of it. It had nothing to do with me as a person.



I can appreciate why you think that from what I've written, but you'll have to take my word for it that it really wasn't that. It wasn't that I was easy to wind up. As I said earlier, I think my problem was I was too patient with too many people for too long. I had someone in my year who was easy to get a reaction out of and he was picked on too, albeit for that reason. In my case, it really was just the 'thing to do' - there's no other explanation for it. I don't know why it started (I started school about a month later than the rest of the year due to moving and I had a different accent so could've been that) but once it did, everyone just wanted to get in on it and no one knew when to stop. They'd be a friend on day, and the next day they'd be joining in trying to throw me to the floor so they could jump on me. I wish it was because I was quick to react, as at least then, the whole thing would make sense.
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Sorry to say I have to agree with Maz here, there must be some reason that you were the punch bag. Probably not going to know why cos this is the internet and all we know of you is that you post on a forum. But i reckon if i knew you I'd be able to tell you within 5mins of meeting you the reasons behind your years of torment. Looking back during my school yrs, the kids that got bullied, had something odd about them.. Even if it was just in their looks. Or perhaps they wore odd clothes, odd parents.. Lots of different reasons, but always to do with something odd. The fact that you are probably an odd ball (sorry if that seems insulting) even if you could fight back, probably just fuelled more bullying.. I know that sounds in contradiction to what I was saying earlier, but it does take more than being able to throw a punch back. A lack of self confidence is also fuel for a bully. Unfortunately I probably done my share of a 'little' bullying here and there, like most normal kids have done.. Just growing up being a kid I guess.. I dont possess a nasty / evil side of me like some kids do though. Same applies in adulthood. If there's a bit of an oddball around me, i'm not going associate myself towards him and be a little off.
 
thedoc46 said:
Sorry to say I have to agree with Maz here, there must be some reason that you were the punch bag. Probably not going to know why cos this is the internet and all we know of you is that you post on a forum. But i reckon if i knew you I'd be able to tell you within 5mins of meeting you the reasons behind your years of torment. Looking back during my school yrs, the kids that got bullied, had something odd about them.. Even if it was just in their looks. Or perhaps they wore odd clothes, odd parents.. Lots of different reasons, but always to do with something odd. The fact that you are probably an odd ball (sorry if that seems insulting) even if you could fight back, probably just fuelled more bullying.. I know that sounds in contradiction to what I was saying earlier, but it does take more than being able to throw a punch back. A lack of self confidence is also fuel for a bully. Unfortunately I probably done my share of a 'little' bullying here and there, like most normal kids have done.. Just growing up being a kid I guess.. I dont possess a nasty / evil side of me like some kids do though. Same applies in adulthood. If there's a bit of an oddball around me, i'm not going associate myself towards him and be a little off.
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This is the problem. You're assuming there has to be a reason. The reason it's caused me so much grief is precisely because there wasn't. If there was any reason why it started it was because I was different due to being the 'new kid' and having a different accent. The continuation over years however was because it became fashionable. There is absolutely nothing in my personality or my social skills which singled me out for or caused the continuation of the bullying.

Take yourself, put yourself back in school and then just have your whole year group intermittently turn on you when it suits. You've not done anything to bring it on, you were just unfortunately the one who drew the short straw. That's the cut and shut of it, as that's how it was for me. It's not even anything to do with being able to fight back or not, because it becomes pretty irrelevent when it's a whole year group constantly doing it.

Now, I'll only ask this once. It was very painful for me to write the above and I only did so as to possibly help someone, somehow. I do not want people trying to turn this back on me. You are all fundamentally ignorant of the facts; you don't know me as a person then or now and you certainly weren't there to witness the events. I'd appreciate it if you all just back the **** off because it's still a sore spot and I'm only going to react badly. There's only so much I can take of trying to explain something for others who are completely idiotic of the reality to say "No you're wrong." and having to repeat myself. I've now reached that quota. This thread isn't about me, so stop.
 
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