If your kid was being bullied at school
- Thread starter rz30
- Start date
Asim18, just rolled over and took it.
You'll be fine in prison
What? You obviously havent comprehended my story.
I'll put it in a nutshell for you. I managed to stop them bullying me and gain protection, all without telling my mummy, snitching or gaining enemies. I think that's an excellent result.
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Mar 2008
- Posts
- 12,751
How you deal with bullying does really depend on yourself and the bully. From an outside point of view, Asim might have got a raw deal. But I bet from his point of view, there wasn't much better that he could have done
I think you're a certified nutcase who plays too many games.
I think you're a choir boy from a little town who has no idea how life in a gang ridden city works.
See I can do that too.
What did it accomplish? NOTHING! \o/I think you're a choir boy from a little town who has no idea how life in a gang ridden city works.
See I can do that too.
Yeah, you're a real gangster bro.
Yeah, you're a real troll bro.
Coming into a thread only to insult someone, with no intention of posting anything relating to the thread?
and the bully is still there bullying people
you are selfish and weak.
you could have stopped your 2 years of bullying ever even happening just by telling someone or doing something about it straight away
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You're calling me a troll?
What I have to 'add' is that the OP should not take advice from you, just incase they were mad enough to consider doing so.
Well, obviously, don't you know what "hypothetically" means?
The only advice I gave was that the parent should do something about it if it's in primary school. The bit about secondary school is my experience and not advice.
And Yes, you are 100% troll. Here is the proof:
Post 1:
Post 2:Wow, just.... wow.
Post 3:
Definitely a troll with nothing to post relating to the subject at hand, other than blatant attempts to get a reaction from me and start an arguement. I ignored you the 1st time, but you continued.
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You were someone elses doormat through school and thats what they'll remember you for
.I think people are misunderstanding what sort of favours i did for them or how long it took. Just 4 were enough and it took a couple of weeks! there was only 1 main bully and once I was at peace with him no one came near me. Bullys aren't very clever, it's easy to manipulate a couple and get them on your side.You were someone elses doormat through school and thats what they'll remember you for
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Caporegime
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 33,188
bullying is a tough subject, if parents jump in too far, too soon they take all sense of self confidence from their kids which makes bullying worse.
Bullys pick on people that seem like they can be bullied, people who the bullies think will take it, kids that go crying to mummy reinforce the idea in the bullies head, AND the kids head, which makes them a target in the future for other bullies even if on the slim chance that one bully is taken care of.
Running is generally a bad idea aswell as again it reinforces the idea you're a target, you're weak and susceptible to bullying. Teaching your kids to run away, or tell you straight away, its a hard thing, severe bullying isn't bullying, its just thugs who could do serious damage. But the guys who trip you up in the hall or throw your books around or something won't get in trouble for minor stuff, and will continue doing it, getting help will make it worse.
Friends can help, but again if you tell a friend, hang around them all the time bully's will just wait for the moment you aren't with them, or if your friend has to step in every time again it teaches the kid they are a bullying target and will always be weak in the situation.
Theres no right or wrong, its a fine line, one kid at school wasn't a bully so much and we were on friendly terms being in the same tutor group when we started at high school. But later on he turned into a pratt and hit a friend of mine, I got in his face and he decided he'd have a go at me constantly. It ended up with him sweeping my stuff off the table sitting down and saying it was his seat now, after months of crap I kicked him out the chair, he stood up punched me, and I just took it, he realised I wasn't scared of him, didn't need to throw punches, wasn't going to take crap and I don't think he spoke to me or did anything to irk me for the remaining time at school.
This other pratt that went around punching people decided to have a go at me one day, I shoved him over after he did something, though can't remember what, he got up, punched me, it hurt but I didn't react, I didn't try and beat him up, I doubt I could have, however he was waiting for me to try and kick/hit him so he could beat me up, it just never happened, never had any more grief with him either.
I wasn't a big kid in school and he was the tallest/well built guy in the school, its not about size, its not about personality(usually) its just about the way your carry yourself, if you act the victim, you'll be victimised, if you act somewhat confident and that you won't just take whatever they have to dish out, and more importantly, really don't care or think about them at all, they don't have a weak target who won't fight back, thats what bullys are looking for.
As for Asim, doesn't he just constantly spout utter tripe, another case where I just don't believe him at all, sounds like the kind of ridiculously crap dialogue you find in the bill. If it happened as you said, well, way to act like a victim. You may have thought you bought yourself some good will from them, but you were just getting in deeper and deeper, what would have happened when they had something serious on them, had some weed in school and decided to hand it to you just as they were about to be searched, you got in trouble and they all said it was yours. They weren't your friends, but were using you and they'd have hung you out to dry whenever it suited them.
Bullys pick on people that seem like they can be bullied, people who the bullies think will take it, kids that go crying to mummy reinforce the idea in the bullies head, AND the kids head, which makes them a target in the future for other bullies even if on the slim chance that one bully is taken care of.
Running is generally a bad idea aswell as again it reinforces the idea you're a target, you're weak and susceptible to bullying. Teaching your kids to run away, or tell you straight away, its a hard thing, severe bullying isn't bullying, its just thugs who could do serious damage. But the guys who trip you up in the hall or throw your books around or something won't get in trouble for minor stuff, and will continue doing it, getting help will make it worse.
Friends can help, but again if you tell a friend, hang around them all the time bully's will just wait for the moment you aren't with them, or if your friend has to step in every time again it teaches the kid they are a bullying target and will always be weak in the situation.
Theres no right or wrong, its a fine line, one kid at school wasn't a bully so much and we were on friendly terms being in the same tutor group when we started at high school. But later on he turned into a pratt and hit a friend of mine, I got in his face and he decided he'd have a go at me constantly. It ended up with him sweeping my stuff off the table sitting down and saying it was his seat now, after months of crap I kicked him out the chair, he stood up punched me, and I just took it, he realised I wasn't scared of him, didn't need to throw punches, wasn't going to take crap and I don't think he spoke to me or did anything to irk me for the remaining time at school.
This other pratt that went around punching people decided to have a go at me one day, I shoved him over after he did something, though can't remember what, he got up, punched me, it hurt but I didn't react, I didn't try and beat him up, I doubt I could have, however he was waiting for me to try and kick/hit him so he could beat me up, it just never happened, never had any more grief with him either.
I wasn't a big kid in school and he was the tallest/well built guy in the school, its not about size, its not about personality(usually) its just about the way your carry yourself, if you act the victim, you'll be victimised, if you act somewhat confident and that you won't just take whatever they have to dish out, and more importantly, really don't care or think about them at all, they don't have a weak target who won't fight back, thats what bullys are looking for.
As for Asim, doesn't he just constantly spout utter tripe, another case where I just don't believe him at all, sounds like the kind of ridiculously crap dialogue you find in the bill. If it happened as you said, well, way to act like a victim. You may have thought you bought yourself some good will from them, but you were just getting in deeper and deeper, what would have happened when they had something serious on them, had some weed in school and decided to hand it to you just as they were about to be searched, you got in trouble and they all said it was yours. They weren't your friends, but were using you and they'd have hung you out to dry whenever it suited them.
I can see why Asim did what he did and I don't blame him. I was bullied a lot at school and really couldn't wait to leave. I hated it. My father went to school in East London and stuck up for himself, partly by becoming under 18's area boxing champion (he went to school somewhere in East Ham).
Sadly I never had that kind of backbone in school and so I got picked on a lot (this was around 25 years ago). If I had my time again I'm change things a lot by hitting back or probably hitting first.
I have two children now and long ago moved out of London. One of those reasons was the school environment my children would have to go to. I couldn't face sending them to an inner London school nowadays as things are far, far worse than my time there.
My son is 3 years old. I'll be teaching him to hit back, and it back hard, if picked on. He'll have my support as long as it was justified, and I'd happily go up the school to defend his actions. I think part of the reason I never hit back in my day was that I never thought my parents would support me and I'd get in more trouble. My mum used to tell the school I was being picked on but all that ever happened was that I was 'lucky' enough to stay inside at lunchtime with all the other bullied kids. In hindsight that just made me more of a target.
I'm a very different person now (well I am 41 after all!) and I genuinely believe you need to hit back when provoked. But I can completely understand Asim's actions in an environment most of us can't understand.
Sadly I never had that kind of backbone in school and so I got picked on a lot (this was around 25 years ago). If I had my time again I'm change things a lot by hitting back or probably hitting first.
I have two children now and long ago moved out of London. One of those reasons was the school environment my children would have to go to. I couldn't face sending them to an inner London school nowadays as things are far, far worse than my time there.
My son is 3 years old. I'll be teaching him to hit back, and it back hard, if picked on. He'll have my support as long as it was justified, and I'd happily go up the school to defend his actions. I think part of the reason I never hit back in my day was that I never thought my parents would support me and I'd get in more trouble. My mum used to tell the school I was being picked on but all that ever happened was that I was 'lucky' enough to stay inside at lunchtime with all the other bullied kids. In hindsight that just made me more of a target.
I'm a very different person now (well I am 41 after all!) and I genuinely believe you need to hit back when provoked. But I can completely understand Asim's actions in an environment most of us can't understand.
I don't give the my secondary school bullies the time of day when they try to talk to me passing on the street 10-15 years later (It has happened a fair few times). It is as if they actually forgot and assumed I had too. Pricks.
The good thing is, that didn't happen
. And from that point on, I walked around with my shoulders back, chest out with a big grin on my face knowing no-one would bother me again.
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You were someone elses doormat through school and thats what they'll remember you for
Yup.
Well done in stopping them hitting you, they're still walking all over you.
