I'm disgusted

Freefaller · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:14

I got a message from Roz this morning saying that she was groped (her bum was grabbed) by some drunk tramp asking whether or not he could pay her for some "action". Needless to say she was somewhat tormented by this.

Furthermore late last year she walked past a building site and a builder grabbed her boobs... I mean, the gall of it!? Do they really think they can get away with that sort of behaviour. I mean it's teetering on being sexual assault almost.

Needless to say this is making me seethe with anger, but also at the same time somewhat worried about it. I'm scared if she retaliates she'll get injured or goodness knows what else, but at the same time I think she shouldn't have to put up with this sort of crap. She dresses conservatively and doesn't show much flesh (well maybe a bit more when she's out with me anyway).

I feel so useless and helpless, and angry and shocked. I'm not happy about this at all.

There's no point to this thread, but maybe any of the girls on forums who have had this experience I'd appreciate your input as to what they did...

neil3k · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:15

Two words

Pepper Spray

Borris · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:16

The first port of call would be to report them for sexual assault.

In the case of the builder, inform the employer, and client.

Avoid anything illegal such as

neil3k said:
Pepper Spray

Sic · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:16

this is the exact reason im not a big fan of crowds/touching/people.

argh, it gets to me a lot when people take liberties with other people's bodies/personal space.

is she ok?

neil3k said:
Two words

Pepper Spray

1 word:

Jailtime

basmic · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:16

At the risk of causing offence, but does she dress attractively? I don't mean like a slapper, obviously.

If not, then she must be a right looker.

Otacon · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:18

Freefaller said:
I mean it's teetering on being sexual assault almost.

Teetering? It's over that line dude - particularly the boob grope. I'd have told her to call the cops onto that builder. Even if she didnt press charges, hopefully a word from the old bill would have got the message across.

Freefaller · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:19

She's fine, just a little shocked and wound up about it. She's got the name of the contracting firm (though this was last year) and I haven't chased up how far she's gone with reporting the builder. I'm just worried it's a case of "prove it luv" in which case there's little she can do.

re: peper spray for a start I don't know if that's legal? Secondly if it doesn't work I don't want her to get in a scuffle, or get injured or worse.

As I said she dresses conservatively, and the people that know her on the boards will concur this. And yes she is attractive.

Neoni · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:20

got a message from Roz this morning saying that she was groped (her bum was grabbed) by some drunk tramp asking whether or not he could pay her for some "action". Needless to say she was somewhat tormented by this.

Furthermore late last year she walked past a building site and a builder grabbed her boobs... I mean, the gall of it!? Do they really think they can get away with that sort of behaviour. I mean it's teetering on being sexual assault almost.

Needless to say this is making me seethe with anger, but also at the same time somewhat worried about it. I'm scared if she retaliates she'll get injured or goodness knows what else, but at the same time I think she shouldn't have to put up with this sort of crap. She dresses conservatively and doesn't show much flesh (well maybe a bit more when she's out with me anyway).

I feel so useless and helpless, and angry and shocked. I'm not happy about this at all. There's no point to this thread, but maybe any of the girls on forums who have had this experience I'd appreciate your input as to what they did...

as i just said on MSN to freefaller-

-The Futile: Mrs Rachel says:
i was with my gf in a club, and some guy was being friendly with us, and we thought wow cool chap, i cleared off cos i had to play some band music to the crowd, he grabbed her rear, and tried paying her to get her number....

-The Futile: Mrs Rachel says:
think how i felt...when we thought he was being friendly

-The Futile: Mrs Rachel says:
it sucks i know

it happens

cant do much about it.

___

but i know who the guy was and if i see him at one of our shows yeh hes in for it.

ALLI · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:23

she needs to go on some kind of self defence, self awareness course.

teach her to slap. very accurately, and also to shout "leave me the **** alone"

should make them back down.

touching IS assault. touching rude bits IS sexual assault. it can not be tolerated and claims of "it was only a laugh" or "i was drunk" cannot be used as an excuse in my mind.

SpicyDuck · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:24

Groping her boobs? Man, that is totally beyond right, on so many levels. Now it's making me angry! :mad:

It's amazing just how many men have zero respect for women when they're looking for the one thing, though.

Phil.

Spacky · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:24

Freefaller said:
And yes she is attractive.

Thats a start for anyone dating someone

Wouldn't let it get to you. Guys have used the old pushing to the bar excuse to grab a piece of the girls I was with. Yeah it infuriates but what can you do, part of you wants to shout at em and smack em one. If your out for a leisurey quiet drink then it ruins the evening.

Can't relate to your situation but I can relate in some ways

DJammyRasta · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:25

all my responses would be along the keyboard warrior trend so im just goin to leave it at the sad face

Vanilla · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:26

Call the police. If they get done for it they will end up on the sex offenders list.

GordyR · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:27

I agree it is absolutely disgusting mate. I just don't understand how some people can consider this kind of behaviour acceptable.

For what it's worth though I would just like to point out that this isn't a phenomenon experienced purely by women. In fact I think the tables are turning. In recent years it seems to be the women who are doing more of the 'groping'. I've lost count of the number of times I have had my bum/groin grabbed in nightclubs. When I was single and going to nightclubs regularly it was a weekly occurance. Unfortunately us men can't complain without getting laughed at.

Kell_ee001 · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:27

I stopped going to several pubs and clubs around Newcastle because of stuff like that. It was guys pinching my bum, grabbing me round the waist, getting closer and closer til I was backed up against a wall etc. and it can ruin a night out

Haven't known this kind of thing to happen on the streets though :confused:

Spacky · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:30

Kell_ee001 said:
I stopped going to several pubs and clubs around Newcastle because of stuff like that. It was guys pinching my bum, grabbing me round the waist, getting closer and closer til I was backed up against a wall etc. and it can ruin a night out

Haven't known this kind of thing to happen on the streets though

I get bored of the whole guys trying it on and the whole cattlemarket scene in the city centre at night. :mad:

Freefaller · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:30

ALLI said:
she needs to go on some kind of self defence, self awareness course.

teach her to slap. very accurately, and also to shout "leave me the **** alone"

should make them back down.

touching IS assault. touching rude bits IS sexual assault. it can not be tolerated and claims of "it was only a laugh" or "i was drunk" cannot be used as an excuse in my mind.

I've suggested that and I think she may well do it now... but I don't want her to get involved in that sort of stuff either

Argh it's frustrating.

I agree with your last statement too.

She's a confident person and isn't the shy retiring type, nor does she appear vulnerable. Maybe she should wear an ugly suit when she walks out and about.

It's amazing just how many men have zero respect for women when they're looking for the one thing, though.

Agreed. Makes my blood boil somewhat.

Wouldn't let it get to you. Guys have used the old pushing to the bar excuse to grab a piece of the girls I was with. Yeah it infuriates but what can you do, part of you wants to shout at em and smack em one. If your out for a leisurey quiet drink then it ruins the evening.

Yes this is probably quite true... and as you say "what can you do"? I mean you don't want anything to kick off, and niether do you want anyone to get hurt. But at the same time you want to make people understand that this behaviour is way out of line.

I'm going to chase this up and make sure I do something about it - of course only if she's really wanting me too.

Luke15 · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:31

I have asked girls to what there boobs feel like and got a touch

but not asking and doing is wrong.

Its sexual assult. :mad:

Freefaller · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:32

GordyR said:
I agree it is absolutely disgusting mate. I just don't understand how some people can consider this kind of behaviour acceptable.

For what it's worth though I would just like to point out that this isn't a phenomenon experienced purely by women. In fact I think the tables are turning. In recent years it seems to be the women who are doing more of the 'groping'. I've lost count of the number of times I have had my bum/groin grabbed in nightclubs. When I was single and going to nightclubs regularly it was a weekly occurance. Unfortunately us men can't complain without getting laughed at.

I'm not pretty enough to get groped

However, I have heard of more men getting touched inappropriately - I think it shouldn't really be tolerated. I agree, i just don't understand the mentality of people who do that.

Maybe it's time to move away from London....

Spacky · 15 Mar 2006 at 14:36

Freefaller said:
Yes this is probably quite true... and as you say "what can you do"? I mean you don't want anything to kick off, and niether do you want anyone to get hurt. But at the same time you want to make people understand that this behaviour is way out of line.

Daytime there isn't really an excuse, no body would grope a woman in public at all, geez I wouldn't do it fueled by alcohol probably be a bit more touchy feely (nothing pervy, keep all your keyboards at bay).

At nightime alcohol and hormones swill about inside beings. You can tell them but they won't listen infact your likely to get a smack if you do. Just remind em that shes comming home with you tonight, whether drunk or sobre which is way more than they will get. Certain places, clubs bars attract certain characters, I think people can relate abit to this.

Again daytime nothing to say or do :mad: