I'm disgusted

Freefaller said:
I'm not pretty enough to get groped :p
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You'd be surprised if you walked in to an Essex club. Prettiness has next to nothing to do with it here. :p


Freefaller said:
However, I have heard of more men getting touched inappropriately - I think it shouldn't really be tolerated. I agree, i just don't understand the mentality of people who do that.

Maybe it's time to move away from London....
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Exactly, I think it's disgraceful regardless of sex. Makes me angry just thinking about it. :mad:
 
A lot of girls and women are put of self defence courses because they think they arent big, or strong enough to do any damage.

There are so many quick moves a lady can do that will definately stop people in their tracks. Just shouting at people and drawing attention is a sure fire way of stopping "casual" idiots going any further. It will also make others look and usually someone will come over and ask if you're ok.

I have seen "small" women downing all kinds of blokes. I'm not advocating violence, but it's the only language some people will listen to.

Hope she's ok. Give her a big re-assuring hug from all of us here eh?
 
Freefaller said:
I mean it's teetering on being sexual assault almost.
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It IS sexual assault Will and Roz would be perfectly justified in reporting it, although the her word against his would probably ensue unless there were any independent witnesses, and here I hope you see my point from a practical point of view. I don't doubt Roz's word for a second. :)

The law says in terms of reasonable force that ' A person may use such force in the prevention of crime or in the effecting or assisting in the lawful apprehension of offenders, suspected offenders or persons unlawfully at large. '

That is according to Section 3 of the Criminal Law Act of 1967, although it is difficult to interprete.

The following is a section on reasonable force, as defined by the CPS website and this may be of some use to you and Roz I hope.

My own personal thoughts ?

If a man grabs her behind or boobs, then I would argue that she could justifiably be in fear of being assaulted sexually and a swift punt in the shin or the groin then taking to her heels is not excessive self-defence.
 
It's totally unacceptable that some guys think they can get away with this. In the past it's been done to be and i've immediatly laid into them asking them why they think they can do that and reinstating that their advances are highly unwanted.
Now i have a boyfriend it really doesn't happen very often (probably because he looks like he could kill people) if it does i explain that i'm not interested and that what they did could be counted as sexual assult.
I hope Roz is ok, not too shook up and is still alright going out to club/pubs.
 
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paul@ said:
Dress sense
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Are you saying that what women wear should mean that guys have the right to assult her? I believe girls should be able to wear what makes them happy and not have to worry. So i'm sorry but i think you're wrong on that.
 
Freefaller said:
I got a message from Roz this morning saying that she was groped (her bum was grabbed) by some drunk tramp asking whether or not he could pay her for some "action". Needless to say she was somewhat tormented by this.

Furthermore late last year she walked past a building site and a builder grabbed her boobs... I mean, the gall of it!? Do they really think they can get away with that sort of behaviour. I mean it's teetering on being sexual assault almost.

Needless to say this is making me seethe with anger, but also at the same time somewhat worried about it. I'm scared if she retaliates she'll get injured or goodness knows what else, but at the same time I think she shouldn't have to put up with this sort of crap. She dresses conservatively and doesn't show much flesh (well maybe a bit more when she's out with me anyway).

I feel so useless and helpless, and angry and shocked. I'm not happy about this at all. :( There's no point to this thread, but maybe any of the girls on forums who have had this experience I'd appreciate your input as to what they did...
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Some Indian guy started touching my sister in India, she punched him in the throat ;)
 
Hire her a body guard for when she goes out :p
Not a male one though just incase he gets touchy feelly get her a butch women that could take most men down with one hit :D
 
It'll take more than that to put her off going out and so on I can assure you. She's not easily scared that's for sure. Thanks for your helpful comments, I have taken them onboard. They have suprisingly calmed me down. :)
 
Freefaller said:
It'll take more than that to put her off going out and so on I can assure you. She's not easily scared that's for sure. Thanks for your helpful comments, I have taken them onboard. They have suprisingly calmed me down. :)
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Dont forget to remind her that the testicles are there for kicking :p
 
I've been in this sort of situation before whilst clubbing with friends.

Usually, it happens from behind (well it would be to grab someone's bum I guess) and to be honest, I've always found that a very hard jab in the ribs with my elbow works wonders.

That maybe a little violent, but in that situation I find that I invariably lose all control of my limbs and they often find contact with the offender's ribs/stomach/nether regions depending on their height compared to mine. Quite an unfortunate coincidence of course! ;)
 
Awful. My friend had a similar situation occur and she warned the guy very quietly and carefully not to do it again. He did and she turned around as if to walk away and stamped so hard on his foot I swear she broke it.

Still violence aside, it is horrible, I was harrassed by a co-worker who thought nothing of putting his hand on my seat just before I sat down and saying 'I meant to move it you were too quick' and unzipping his flies 'by accident' in meetings and leaving nothing to the imagination. I was in a sort of junior/mid management position and felt really embarrassed by him but didn't know what to do.

One day it all got too much and after he'd touched my boob rather than brushing my bum for the 900'th time.I went outside for a ciggie (I smoked then) and was rather upset. my boss came out and said someone else had told her what was going on. I said I didn't want to take it further (was quite scared of this guy tbh) and she said she HAD to speak to him if she knew it was going on. She took him in the office and said 'I think you know what this is about' and he started with 'I know I've been late a few times but...'
She was dumbfounded. He thought there was nothing wrong in what he was doing. He even carried on after that but I learnt to ignore him. Shouldn't have to but for my own sanity, knowing that I was above it helped me cope until he left, a few years later.
 
neil3k said:
Two words

Pepper Spray
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Not a good idea, you might remember a thread i started about my being arrested and having my house searched last november. It's a section 5 firearms offence :eek: .

But as for freefaller, i feel for you dude. I've been in the same situation a coupe of times. There really is nothing that you can do barring arming her with the knowledge of self awareness and defense.
My ex got attacked whilst walking through an underpass, fortunately the attacker fled before he managed to get her jeans off. The police were nothing short of unhelpfull and down right nasty, and i walked around the area with friends for weeks afterwards. But alas, mr rapist was not to be found.
My current gf has had her fair share of un-provoced attacks also (whilst out in town). Makes me feel totally useless :mad: .
When i got arrested the police officer recommended carrying a jiff lemon bottle full of amonia. Though this is illegal too i think?.

Best of luck freefaller.
 
Blackstar said:
Are you saying that what women wear should mean that guys have the right to assult her? I believe girls should be able to wear what makes them happy and not have to worry. So i'm sorry but i think you're wrong on that.
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Yes girls should be able to wear what they want when they want in an ideal world, but this world is far from ideal.

Police are always reminding people to not go displaying valuables such as iPods, mobile phones etc when walking through the streets, especially dodgy areas for fear of attack/muggings.

I think it's only common sense to apply the same sort of approach to your more valuable body parts.
 
Blackstar said:
Are you saying that what women wear should mean that guys have the right to assult her? I believe girls should be able to wear what makes them happy and not have to worry. So i'm sorry but i think you're wrong on that.
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I'm not disputing you for a second Blackstar, I just want to make that point clear. But, some girls/women do seem to ask for it the way they dress. Showing 90% of their flesh on a night out is only asking for one thing and one type of character.

Freefaller, if it's a year since the builder I don't think there will be much you can do now. As for recent and future (God forbid) occurances of such incidents, I hope Roz is okay. I suggest probably the self-defense classes are a good idea. Even the basics can catch a would be assailent off guard. Also, just out of curiosity - what time of day was this, was she walking on her own? It might be an idea to walk with her etc. I know it seems over protective but we don't want to even think what may happen when someone really steps over the line.
 
I always carry a teeny mini-hairspray or deodorant. It's purely chance if someone decides to pull a quick one on me and I look in my bag for an everyday item that is not construed as a weapon at all, and happen to spray it right into their eyes.

I think it's only an offence if you carry the item as a weapon/self defence. If it's an 'everyday' item, say you just happen to be coming back from the shops with say, a blowtorch, and you use it, then I'm sure they can't touch you :D
 
GSXRMovistar said:
Yes girls should be able to wear what they want when they want in an ideal world, but this world is far from ideal.

Police are always reminding people to not go displaying valuables such as iPods, mobile phones etc when walking through the streets, especially dodgy areas for fear of attack/muggings.

I think it's only common sense to apply the same sort of approach to your more valuable body parts.
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Agreed.
 
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