I'm going to build a space station

Von Smallhausen said:
Awww, man.

Who had the sweetcorn ? The toilet floor looks like the yellow brick road.
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You have some sweetcorn on your ear, i'll get it. *rubs*

Von Smallhausen said:
To Captain.

I have found Capn $qu!ff. He is unconcious on D deck toilet floor and seems to be suffering from hyperglysweetcorn shock. Medical emergency.
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What do you want me to do boss?
 
*Rapid Decompression*

[Computer Voice emmitting from Hull] Subject Capn' $qu!ff Jettisoned from ship. Action take revenge. Nukes armed. 5 min fuse selected. Detonation in 4 mins 58 secs and counting.[/Computer Voice emmitting From Hull]

[Voice Capn' $qu!ff From Hull] If you are hearing this my revenge programs have been initiated due to someone purposefully killing me and believing they got away with it.

Sadly this is not the case I have 300 Nukes in stratigic positions inside the outer Hull and each has it's own Impenitrable Immovable Substance 3(consequently 400% more Impenitrable and Immovable than substance 2) plate over the arming echanism so you'll find them impossible to disarm if however you manage to disarm one the rest are set to auto-destruct so basically your ****ed unless I'm still alive as you see I have the codes, DNA, retina & Fingerprints to disarm the devices . This is the price whoever killed me will pay ... oh as will the rest of the crew too![/Voice Capn' $qu!ff from Hull]
 
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Due to the fast reactions of our Security Personal and based on the information received simulatorman, I can report that ‘Bouncy’ has been apprehended. Due to the nature of the life form it has been passed to me for examination:


Report 01/02/04/09:

‘Bouncy’ from Zybos is in fact not the ‘Hot Alien Chick’ that she entered the station as. When examined it became apparent that this life form is not actually from Zybos at all, but from a much darker sector of our galaxy – the planet Qua-nix.

The life form now identified as a male ‘Qua-Nixian’ (name unknown) has stated that it used deception in order to gain access to our stations research and development facilities – one can only assume it chose to disguise itself as a ‘Hot Alien Chick’ so it could compromise a member of crew.

I advise anyone who has had an ‘encounter’ with ‘Bouncy’ to get themselves checked out at the medical bay as a matter of urgency. (The male Qua-Nixian is able to impregnate male humans)

Please note - The Qua-Nixian Space Authorities have ordered the life forms immediate destruction, but this is not necessary as the life form only has a life span of 7 days. By my account this leaves 'Bouncy' with a few more hours until it dissolves into Bovril. (you can tell a Qua-Nixians age by the pixels and the fact I've seen a few in my time)

Crizzy
Alien Liaison Officer
 
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Maccy said:
This has been noted and a team has been sent out to aid your search.

Maccy
Head of Security
Onboard phone no: 77-999
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Any news?

Crizzy said:
Due to the fast reactions of our Security Personal and based on the information received simulatorman, I can report that ‘Bouncy’ has been apprehended. Due to the nature of the life form it has been passed to me for examination:


Report 01/02/04/09:

‘Bouncy’ from Zybos is in fact not the ‘Hot Alien Chick’ that she entered the station as. When examined it became apparent that this life form is not actually from Zybos at all, but from a much darker sector of our galaxy – the planet Qua-nix.

The life form now identified as a male ‘Qua-Nixian’ (name unknown) has stated that it used deception in order to gain access to our stations research and development facilities – one can only assume it chose to disguise itself as a ‘Hot Alien Chick’ so it could compromise a member of crew.

I advise anyone who has had an ‘encounter’ with ‘Bouncy’ to get themselves checked out at the medical bay as a matter of urgency. (The male Qua-Nixian is able to impregnate male humans)

Please note - The Qua-Nixian Space Authorities have ordered the life forms immediate destruction, but this is not necessary as the life form only has a life span of 7 days. By my account this leaves 'Bouncy' with a few more hours until it dissolves into Bovril. (You can tell a Qua-Nixians age by the pixels and the fact I've seen a few of these in my time)

Crizzy
Alien Liaison Officer
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Thanks for your prompt work.

The only person we have in our area on CCTV with “Bouncy” is the traitor.

Andr3w is reviewing the Pimp regulations.

anticonscience is reviewing the facilities Alien Delight regulations.

Mat will review the “Hot Alien Chick Handling Course”, all attendies will be retrained.

Commander Massage.
 
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Capn' $qu!ff said:
*Rapid Decompression*

[Computer Voice emmitting from Hull] Subject Capn' $qu!ff Jettisoned from ship. Action take revenge. Nukes armed. 5 min fuse selected. Detonation in 4 mins 58 secs and counting.[/Computer Voice emmitting From Hull]

[Voice Capn' $qu!ff From Hull] If you are hearing this my revenge programs have been initiated due to someone purposefully killing me and believing they got away with it.

Sadly this is not the case I have 300 Nukes in stratigic positions inside the outer Hull and each has it's own Impenitrable Immovable Substance 3(consequently 400% more Impenitrable and Immovable than substance 2) plate over the arming echanism so you'll find them impossible to disarm if however you manage to disarm one the rest are set to auto-destruct so basically your ****ed unless I'm still alive as you see I have the codes, DNA, retina & Fingerprints to disarm the devices . This is the price whoever killed me will pay ... oh as will the rest of the crew too![/Voice Capn' $qu!ff from Hull]
Click to expand...

*In foghorn leghorns voice*

Ahem, I say boy now i may be just a simple toilet engineers assistant but it is of my opinion that if you fire the electro magnetic pulse within the walls of said hull where these so called nuclear devices are being held, all the components will become fried and as useless as a porcupine at a ballon festival.
 
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