I'm going to build a space station

I wish to announce that the first batch of Hot Alien Chicks have arrived from the planet Zybos. All crew members are invited to the “Earth Bar” at 20:00 for a hands on session, again all drinks will be free.

Lets Party.

Commander Massage
 
Greenlizard0 said:
Konichiwa,

Things have been largely plain sailing at my end. I've not had much to do. If anybody has any complaints regarding issues of race, colour, or even helmet size please don't hesitate to contact me. Or I'll be forced to make up utter garbage.

Yours sincerely

Greenlizard0 (Ensign of Ethnic people)
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I seem to have not found any little green men on board...

Please rectify this, if needed using frostednipple and a bucket of green paint.

Many thanks

Navigation - trying to find little green men, trying to look for a substitute.
 
I am pleased to report that there have been no further problems since my last report and freak2002 has done a sterling job in keeping the chav activity to an absolute minimum.
My continued thanks to him and will be giving him a pay rise for his consistent effort.

Maccy
Head of Security
Onboard phone no: 77-999
 
I must apologise for the sudden drop in altitude, it seems tim tim navigator has just directed us off a cliff in space, every effort is being made to regain our course though and shold take about 3 seconds. Thanks for your understanding, your ever caring pilot, wez
 
AmTechFox said:
LOL EPIC BACON!

I like the idea of this :D

I wonder if that egg will taste nice fried? Give it a go.
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speak to me im the kick ass chef of this vessel :D

Any ways hows the food on deck, i need some menu suggsetions as im bored of opening crappy space food. :eek:

Give me a list of what ya want to munch crew and ill do my best :D
 
Is it too late for applications?

I would like to apply for a job in Security as I have a passion for guns and aviators. I can also do dramatic rolls.

Either that or Head of Finance/Bank manager. I like money.

Please let me know if there are any spaces available.
 
Dear all,

I'm afraid I have to be the bringer of bad news. We've had our first death on the station.

Last night an expedition was mounted. To secure the safety of the station a small team was dispatched to explore the three asteroid fields mentioned in the memo of 1:08AM 01/04/09 by pilot Marky.

Marky himself piloted the expedition with jakspyder and FirebarUK and two other staff members providing further resource. I'm afraid I haven't been fully furnished with names as to who was on the expedition and who was lost, but I've narrowed it down to two people from looking at the security cameras of the vessel.

The video capture is grainy, but I can make out that the two as yet undetermined crew were both wearing red, and we lost one of them due to an as yet undetermined explosion.

RIP and godspeed.
 
Hmm, this space station of yours needs a handsome but self centred freighter pilot who ultimatley ends up working for the good guys. Seen as I'm neither handsome or a freighter pilot I think I'd be perfect for the job.

Cheers
Wordy Solo
 
Last night an expedition was mounted. To secure the safety of the station a small team was dispatched to explore the three asteroid fields mentioned in the memo of 1:08AM 01/04/09 by pilot Marky.
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Hello all. I can confirm we lost a shuttle last night. I was present as an observer, interested in Marky's shuttle piloting tactics. The incident occured when jakspyder took the controls but was not aware of Marky's inverted joystick X and Y axis. This resulted in an asteroid strike, splitting the shuttle in two. Distress calls were sent but met with laughter, we'd like to know who was in the control tower at that point and see that they are repremanded.

Once the shuttle broke up everything starting spilling out, including us. Fortunately we were wearing the HEV suits (currently in field test stages) engineered by Lashout UK. Myself and Marky had to walk back to the ship using Azagoth's latest version of space walking boots, fortunately we were all wearing these too. The last we saw of jakspyder he was clinging to the shuttle's toilet floating through space in the opposite direction of the ship. Perhaps his space walking boots failed? We were unable to reach him on our comm system.

I can confirm that myself and Marky are ok. I'm unable to comment on other crew members.
 
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*Attention*
dear all,
Last night during a routine launch of a snail mail pod, the auto navigation went down. The mail pod crashed into the starboard side, If your partner said the earth moved, it wasn't you. The crash resulted in a mild Richter 3 earthquake across the ship and has caused massive toilet outages on E-deck. Benjo (medic) & Von Smallhausen (toilet engineer) have been contacted.
Good news is the pod was recovered and your mail is ready for collection.

Yours apologetically
AcidHell2 (Rail Gun operator)
 
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Toilet engineer's log : Forumdate 020409.

What do these people eat ? There are so many types of brad pitt to deal with. They range from the malteser to the Darth Vader's leg. But alas, who cares ? What do these station goers care for the sad lot that befalls a humble bog engineer. Message ends as Tefal was on the pop last night and I have to clean some poo tea from trap 1.
 
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