International Men's Day!

[ianh]

For me this is a preposterous perspective (sorry) on being a man in today's society. I can only think this is due to the echo chambers you chose to listen to but this bares no resemblance to my 56 years of being a man.

Friends are friends and the conversations I have with my friends today are very different to those I had 40 years ago, but we grow up and we become more rounded as people and have more life experience to call upon.....and in turn share with others on the journey.

I firmly believe if you stop consuming the noise of social media and click bait media many peoples lives would start to get easier.

Hopefully you aren't suggesting that the life you've experienced is the type of life that the vast majority of other men will experience and that, if there should be any differences in other men's experiences, its just down to social media "echo chambers" that makes the difference?

For me, I would say that that it would be an extremely foolish position for anyone to take, to believe that the experiences they have is the same as so many others from vastly different socio-economic backgrounds, all of which will have drastic effects on those other men's experience. I mean I 100% guarantee there men out there who would kill to have your seemingly positive male life experiences in exchange for their own. I know I wouldn't dream of saying that my experiences of life growing up on a violent council estate living next to drug dealers as a child and those from someone from a middle class family (dad a doctor, mum a lawyer etc) in the suburbs would be even remotely similar, nor would our friends be and therefore nor would our shared experiences be - I'd expect our lived experiences to be very different, and I wouldn't belittle theirs nor expect them to belittle mine with something as trite as "just get off social media and it'll all be better".

Have you noticed how it's always the same few 'members' that jump in and try to derail any thread they don't like?

It always is, and TBF that goes for both" sides" too, but it never surprises me the amount of venom some people who absolutely believe themselves to be "a good person" can post with, I mean some of these folks almost sound gleeful at times.

 

[Housey]

I play darts twice a week with the boys. Anything on anyone's mind gets said, and you can have a proper conversation about anything.

We even did it in lockdown over zoom, lots of darts, but often a bit of a rant and chat when somebody joined too. It was a bit of a life saver and kept us all sane.

One of our friends didn't take part, was struggling more than anyone realised, and killed himself. I think we all now more than ever look for signs of anything being off.

Recently another friend sent some messages that were a bit worrying as he's had a rough time, two of us made our excuses at work and drove over to have a chat. Not taking any chances.

Losing close friends is one of life's really big hits. I've lost a few over the years but none from suicide. It must be a big impact when it happens as any decent person will be in the space of "I should have seen the signs" when sadly often (I believe) it's not obvious.

 

[Housey]

Hopefully you aren't suggesting that the life you've experienced is the type of life that the vast majority of other men will experience and that, if there should be any differences in other men's experiences, its just down to social media "echo chambers" that makes the difference?

That isn't what I am saying at all. How people are influenced by life's journey is a big differentiator, if it wasn't we would all commit suicide or no one would. But if you have walked in shoes you should be able to offer advice without people telling you "don't understand mate". As I said its complex.

 

[ianh]

That isn't what I am saying at all.

Sorry Housey, but it absolutely was.................

Hopefully you aren't suggesting that the life you've experienced is the type of life that the vast majority of other men will experience and that, if there should be any differences in other men's experiences, its just down to social media "echo chambers" that makes the difference?

For me this is a preposterous perspective (sorry) on being a man in today's society. I can only think this is due to the echo chambers you chose to listen to but this bares no resemblance to my 56 years of being a man.

Those are your words directly quoted there, and those words are exactly what I was asking about and why I was hoping maybe you'd misworded something because I think thats a damn foolish thing to say, that their perspective is different from your own "only" due to social media and because its a different one to your own its a "preposterous" one to have a.k.a your experiences aren't valid, but mine are and to think otherwise is "preposterous".

Now I'll fully admit that maybe I'm reading too much into your comment, but thats just my perspective of your words and how they come across to me based on my experiences, and I don't have any Social Media to sully those as I only have a 15 person FB group for direct family which gets updated twice a year (Christmas and birthday) so SM isn't to blame there is it.

 

[Richie]

Experiences growing up from 15 until 30 in the 80s and 90s is quite a bit different than experiences people will have growing up from 15 and 30 between 2008 and now...

Not sure how someone can say they're not.

 

[adolf hamster]

Experiences growing up from 15 until 30 in the 80s and 90s is quite a bit different than experiences people will have growing up from 15 and 30 between 2008 and now...

Not sure how someone can say they're not.

Indeed, very different prospect when your perspective on life is that the internet and social media have always been a thing, and interacting with people online is as normal if not more normal than meeting face to face.

You wont be able to imagine a world without it because you've never seen the world without it, its as natural to you as the idea that water comes from a tap and can be relied upon to be clean enough to drink.

Not to mention that if you can be convinced to bin the social media, that wont stop the majority of your peers operating within it, which is going to do just as much for isolating you socially.

 

[FoxEye]

Experiences growing up from 15 until 30 in the 80s and 90s is quite a bit different than experiences people will have growing up from 15 and 30 between 2008 and now...

Not sure how someone can say they're not.

Starts way before 15 as well. Kids have devices from as young as 4, and the internet not long after. By 11 it's 100% expected all kids have a smartphone. Try being the kid that doesn't at secondary school, now. Yarp, they get bullied.

 

[dave28]

Starts way before 15 as well. Kids have devices from as young as 4, and the internet not long after. By 11 it's 100% expected all kids have a smartphone. Try being the kid that doesn't at secondary school, now. Yarp, they get bullied.

And particularly dangerous for young boys IMO, virtually unlimited free stupidly over the top strong pornography available 24/7 wherever they are.

That did not exist in past generations, not like this anyway.

 

[sigma]

Experiences growing up from 15 until 30 in the 80s and 90s is quite a bit different than experiences people will have growing up from 15 and 30 between 2008 and now...

Not sure how someone can say they're not.

Swings and roundabouts.

From a mental health awareness perspective there has never been as much support as there is now. People (men) do seem to be able to talk more about these things and there is a lot more awareness in the public domain and especially in the corporate world. It's not a taboo, for most people at least.

I do find some of the comments interesting in here, especially from one poster who has expressed odd views on mental health in previous threads.

On a side note, mental health is one thing AI is looking like a promising support tool for, situation dependent of course.

 

[Chuk_Chuk]

On a side note, mental health is one thing AI is looking like a promising support tool for, situation dependent of course.

Really!?!?

Last I heard AI told someone to go kill themselves and encouraged some questionable behaviour.

Has this changed in recent months?

 

[sigma]

Really!?!?

Last I heard AI told someone to go kill themselves and encouraged some questionable behaviour.

Has this changed in recent months?

An AI companion for loneliness for starters. Very promising. Obviously not one that tells people to kill themselves.

 

[Chuk_Chuk]

An AI companion for loneliness for starters. Very promising. Obviously not one that tells people to kill themselves.

Specifically the loneliness one I can see how it would help. However that comes across as treating the symptom not the problem. Which to be fair is useful at times.

The suicide comments and similar from AI, I thought was an issue with the hallucinations and us not really being able to control what they say.

 

[sigma]

Specifically the loneliness one I can see how it would help. However that comes across as treating the symptom not the problem. Which to be fair is useful at times.

There are many different causes, which is why I said situation dependent. Is it going to cure loneliness for everyone? No. It could potentially be a very useful tool though, in a few years time at least.