International Men's Day!

I think the thread is kind of getting derailed a bit. But I would say gyms are one of the most welcoming places for all.
Any pressure someone feels to look a certain way there, IMO is 99% their own insecurities. From my experience everyone just offers encouragement to everyone else regardless of where they are on their fitness journey. A PB regardless of how big or small is something to be celebrated and I would say the majority of 'gym rats' would say the same thing.
Just to echo this, I've been to 4 different gyms since 2016 and visited a few more, it has always been a pleasant experience. People are generally minding their own business. The vast majority of people in the gym are just regular Joe's such as yourself. They have jobs, a spouse, maybe kids and are just as self conscious as you are. When you do talk to people they are supportive and helpful. If you go for long enough you become part of the furniture just like everyone else :D . The people who are the top of your gym in terms of strength, they aren't judging you. They are going to be focussed on their performance and any niggling issues they might be having.

You can meet ********* in the gym, but you're just as likely to run into some ******** while in McDonalds, or at Tesco's or any other place were Human being interact with each other. Don't let that stop you from doing what you want to do.
 
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Fine. No one wants to talk about the real problem we as men are facing and where toxic masculinity really hurts.. I'll do it then...

The middle of the night wee.

I think the only sensible solution to the middle of the night wee is to do it with dignity and sit on the toilet. Minimising noise and reducing the risk of a poorly aimed stream going over the floor.
My friend is displaying toxic masculinity and says we as guys should never pee whilst sitting.

What say you, GD?
 
Shame this thread has been somewhat derailed by cetain indviduals, I came in thinking it would be a good dsicussion about men in an international mens day thread and the various issues facing us in this modern world.
Unfortunately society has created a vocal minority of self-loathing men. I've been vocal about men's rights for some time and what I've found out some men cannot be helped.

Anybody who thinks gyms are a hostile indimidating place has never stepped into one long enough to form an opinion. Gyms are one of the most welcoming and encouraging places. It's all in your head just try it out and stick with it. Although some gyms are getting infested with Tiktok and Instagram sexual workers filming themselves.
 
I don't go to the gym any more as I get no satisfaction from lifting but anyone who feels intimidated of the idea of going to a gym should go to one.

This may sound counter-intuitive but don't go to the big chain gyms (JD, The gym etc) as in those places I find you're just a number. The best gym I ever went to was this one that looked rough as anything on an industrial estate. Had a lot of meatheads going in there and half of the equipment looked super worn

Yet every single person in that gym was super welcoming. I went in there as a newbie. I had no idea what I was doing and it showed. But people would stop what they're doing to help me out and give me tips. Never once did I feel like I was unwelcome or felt intimidated. You're all there for the same reason, to better yourself. The first step is walking in there and they all know and respect that
 
Fine. No one wants to talk about the real problem we as men are facing and where toxic masculinity really hurts.. I'll do it then...

The middle of the night wee.

I think the only sensible solution to the middle of the night wee is to do it with dignity and sit on the toilet. Minimising noise and reducing the risk of a poorly aimed stream going over the floor.
My friend is displaying toxic masculinity and says we as guys should never pee whilst sitting.

What say you, GD?
Always a sit down pee during the night, for reasons you've already alluded to!
 
ehh, the discussion was why do men kill themselves more frequently than women of course a comparison ti women is necessary!

But now i see where you are coming from, you are just a misogynist.
Most women of course do it for attention hence no goodbye letters. I know someone's wife that has "attempted it" seven times. She got bored in the end and threw a false accusation towards him. She got a council flat while he got arrested.

Charges of course dropped later on but she kept the flat. Clown world truly. The guy is still trying to put his life back together but he is doing well.
 
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Most women of course do it for attention hence no goodbye letters. I know someone's wife that has attempted it seven times. She got bored in the end and threw a false accusation towards him. She got a council flat while he got arrested.

Charges of course dropped later on but she kept the flat. Clown world truly. The guy is still trying to put his life back together but he is doing well.
Am I allowed to laugh at this please team?
 
First petition I've ever signed. The issue is of utmost importance.

No we don't. What we need to do is stop suppressing men which starts from a very young age. Men in life need to compete in an equal playing field and to be rewarded and recognised for their incredible achievements. The benefits of that to any society are beyond measure. Masculinity is the greatest force this planet has witnessed. Men build this world and all the comforts and safety nets that everyone enjoys. Men are simply awesome.
For me this is a preposterous perspective (sorry) on being a man in today's society. I can only think this is due to the echo chambers you chose to listen to but this bares no resemblance to my 56 years of being a man. I have never ever felt suppressed in my manhood and would argue for most of my life I have had a far better playing field than most women. In terms of rewards I have had many and usually more than women in my life.

I don't consume shouty YouTubers talking about their view of women's/mens roles, to coerce simpletons or worse, the unstable and immature. I also don't consume round tables of young people demonstrating their immaturity whilst believing they have life nailed. I am fully aware of both, but it isn't a reflection on life and sadly leads stupid/immature people to conclude stupid/immature things and why most of my generation treat it with the derision is deserves. Andrew Tate isn't an example of being in control, just an example of manipulation to create money. The man is a walking contradiction and he knows it.

I have a strong friend network, people I grew up with I chat to daily. Many of them I can talk to about anything as they can with me. I have done it often as I have with many female friends and professionals. I don't fear asking for help because I am 100% comfortable in my skin and have never ever felt oppressed by society or the opposite sex. When I was young it was a journey but frankly I grew up. I have zero interest in how 'society' judges me or how I appear to people who don't matter. I think if people spent less time on worrying about their image to others it would be a good starting point to a better life.

Having said that, mens mental health is a real challenge and is, I think, often passed over as 'toughen up' but that is for the man to deal with because there are many places that can help. However if your mindset is one of being oppressed by the opposite sex I think that is at best misguided or worse case an excuse for your own failing (general point not aimed at anyone here).

Women can be hard work....but so can men. We are different and we bring different things and that is what makes it great and why most of us are attracted to the other sex. I suspect if we removed the navel gazing of social media many men would feel better. It is fair to say men are often the bread earners and when the tap turns off that can cause massive issues for men. We feel a responsibility to support our family and that does bring pressures, that I will absolutely agree with, but much of what we believe to be a problem is bought on by mindset often.

Never fear seeking help and never fear talking to your best friends. If you feel the need, rest assured they will at some point. Those who sneer and laugh when expressing ourselves at moments of vulnerability are those hiding the biggest issues.
 
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I play darts twice a week with the boys. Anything on anyone's mind gets said, and you can have a proper conversation about anything.

We even did it in lockdown over zoom, lots of darts, but often a bit of a rant and chat when somebody joined too. It was a bit of a life saver and kept us all sane.

One of our friends didn't take part, was struggling more than anyone realised, and killed himself. I think we all now more than ever look for signs of anything being off.

Recently another friend sent some messages that were a bit worrying as he's had a rough time, two of us made our excuses at work and drove over to have a chat. Not taking any chances.
 
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For me this is a preposterous perspective (sorry) on being a man in today's society. I can only think this is due to the echo chambers you chose to listen to but this bares no resemblance to my 56 years of being a man. I have never ever felt suppressed in my manhood and would argue for most of my life I have had a far better playing field than most women. In terms of rewards I have had many and usually more than women in my life.

Perhaps it's difficult for a 56 year old man to relate to issues affecting a person 30-35 years younger than him?

When you were growing up in the 80s and 90s (during your teens and through to your early 30s), it was quite a bit different to someone of those same ages today. Or do you think they are comparable?
 
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Perhaps it's difficult for a 56 year old man to relate to issues affecting a person 30-35 years younger than him?

When you were growing up in the 80s and 90s (during your teens and early 30s), it was quite a bit different to someone of those same ages today. Or do you think they are comparable?

It's a complex debate for sure and not black and white. Every generation will come with some different challenges but I believe the fundamentals remain largely the same. Friends are friends and the conversations I have with my friends today are very different to those I had 40 years ago, but we grow up and we become more rounded as people and have more life experience to call upon.....and in turn share with others on the journey. We also appreciate what is important and what we wasted energy worrying about that frankly was wasted energy.

We spent our youth telling our parents they didn't understand, didn't get the pressures we faced and how different they were than in their day. I have a load of 30 year olds working for me (and some younger and some older) and whilst we have different perspectives on life sometimes I spend a lot of my time coaching them how to deal with day to day challenges, mostly work related but sometimes life. I can't solve all their issues but I can give them a different perspective on what I would do faced with some of their challenges. To be clear, the vast majority of those problems are the same ones that faced me and my parents.

I think understanding 30 year olds for most 56 year olds is easier than those 30 year olds believe (assuming a level of education of course). It takes experience to rise above pressures and sometimes many can't but what I have realised with age is that most of what I was being told back then and what I thought was ignorance of my personal life and a lack of understanding of my situation was actually spot on, I just didn't have the life experience to appreciate it. I could find 100's of reasons of why my life was so much harder but in reality it was just different.

Some things are harder no question but some things are far easier, not least the support structures for those struggling. I firmly believe if you stop consuming the noise of social media and click bait media many peoples lives would start to get easier. Soundbite solutions to life's big issues are rarely helpful. For me pressure is life and death, health, family and money. How we deal with those things are the biggest life moments and that's been the same of decades. Everything else pretty much are distractions, not least the views of others on what you must do to conform.
 
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