Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

Dmack · 1 May 2011 at 16:53

nero120 said:
Okay guys, quick question. So the girl I went on a date with on Friday (which went really well) said that she'd like to see me today and that she'd contact me, however I've not heard from her today. I'm thinking that's fair enough, it's only been two dates, so I was just going to leave it until she contacts me again (if she does).

However, I just want to check that I'm not breaking some kind of cardinal rule or failing some test by leaving it to her, is she expecting me to chase her or something? Arg, why do women play these games?!

I've had that before and ended up just finding something to text her about, like seeing something on tv that we had previously joked about. Up to you though, you could leave it till tomorrow. Rubbish thing is we're in trouble if we don't do what we say but were meant to forgive them in a heart beat if they don't.

Kerplunk said:
Hmmmmm, do girls not like guys who work in IT / computers or something, is their some kind of stigma attached ?

Ive chatted to about 4 or 5 now and as soon as I mention I work in Computers / IT - I never get a reply back

Surely thats not a coincidence? :/

I've had that before and i've learnt to gloss over the finer specifics of my job until they know me better, you can always find ways to spruce up your job and role though, because generally describing it jobs is pretty boring.

Broken Hope · 1 May 2011 at 16:56

nero120 said:
Okay guys, quick question. So the girl I went on a date with on Friday (which went really well) said that she'd like to see me today and that she'd contact me, however I've not heard from her today. I'm thinking that's fair enough, it's only been two dates, so I was just going to leave it until she contacts me again (if she does).

However, I just want to check that I'm not breaking some kind of cardinal rule or failing some test by leaving it to her, is she expecting me to chase her or something? Arg, why do women play these games?!

Personally I'd wait for her to make contact if it was me, but then at 28 I can't be bothered with all the games and chasing people around etc.

.Lethal · 1 May 2011 at 16:56

nero120 said:
Okay guys, quick question. So the girl I went on a date with on Friday (which went really well) said that she'd like to see me today and that she'd contact me, however I've not heard from her today. I'm thinking that's fair enough, it's only been two dates, so I was just going to leave it until she contacts me again (if she does).

Text her "Are we still meeting up today?" and see what she says?

What else are you suppose to say if you want to know whats going on? No secret rules or BS just ask.

Neil79 · 1 May 2011 at 17:24

What's with some of the emails you get from dating sites

" xxx Has clicked on your profile "
" X amount of people have seen your profile "

Why should i give a toss who's clicked on my profile if nothing is sent?, i click on tons of profiles doesn't mean i'm interested

nero120 · 1 May 2011 at 17:31

Hmm, think I'll let her sweat a little bit. Gonna play it cool!

Neil79 · 1 May 2011 at 17:32

Well if the date went really well, i'd call today you make the first move... If it's an answer machine leave a quick message and to call you back. If she doesn't move on!

nero120 · 1 May 2011 at 17:36

Neil79 said:
Well if the date went really well, i'd call today you make the first move... If it's an answer machine leave a quick message and to call you back. If she doesn't move on!

It did, and things got physical but I don't want to scare her off! She said she'd get in touch, and hasn't yet, so I really don't want to come across like some lost puppy - better to appear careless than dickless!

Neil79 · 1 May 2011 at 17:37

Wait till monday then

, but do not leave it any longer to call her

nero120 · 1 May 2011 at 17:43

Neil79 said:
Wait till monday then , but do not leave it any longer to call her

Roger!

Sinny · 1 May 2011 at 17:44

nero120 said:
Okay guys, quick question. So the girl I went on a date with on Friday (which went really well) said that she'd like to see me today and that she'd contact me, however I've not heard from her today. I'm thinking that's fair enough, it's only been two dates, so I was just going to leave it until she contacts me again (if she does).

However, I just want to check that I'm not breaking some kind of cardinal rule or failing some test by leaving it to her, is she expecting me to chase her or something? Arg, why do women play these games?!

Depends on the person, I've had girls contact me after a date, sometimes a few minutes after it's ended but usually if it's been half a day I'll text back if I like them.

Their is no rule, its sort of unwritten. but if you like them enough you should let them know rather than trying to play hard to get.

nero120 · 1 May 2011 at 17:46

Sinny said:
Depends on the person, I've had girls contact me after a date, sometimes a few minutes after it's ended but usually if it's been half a day I'll text back if I like them.

Their is no rule, its sort of unwritten. but if you like them enough you should let them know rather than trying to play hard to get.

That's true, and I did text her the day after saying I had a great time and hopefully I'd see her soon, and she replied and said she'd be in touch tomorrow (today), so I think it's fair enough if I leave it for a day. Who knows, she'll probably never forgive me for it though! :eek:

Holliday · 1 May 2011 at 17:54

nero120 said:
That's true, and I did text her the day after saying I had a great time and hopefully I'd see her soon, and she replied and said she'd be in touch tomorrow (today), so I think it's fair enough if I leave it for a day. Who knows, she'll probably never forgive me for it though!

The situation you are in now should have the roles reversed. She should be the one anticipating a text from you to meet up. Whether she's doing it intentionally (most likely) or not, it's giving her all the power.

If the dates went as well as you say then there's no reason to doubt that she likes you, thus no reason to doubt she'll eventually get in contact.

nero120 · 1 May 2011 at 17:58

Holliday said:
The situation you are in now should have the roles reversed. She should be the one anticipating a text from you to meet up. Whether she's doing it intentionally (most likely) or not, it's giving her all the power.

If the dates went as well as you say then there's no reason to doubt that she likes you, thus no reason to doubt she'll eventually get in contact.

Yeah that's what I was thinking!

Holliday · 1 May 2011 at 18:10

nero120 said:
Yeah that's what I was thinking!

It's easy to give advice, but if I was in your shoes I'd probably be thinking the same.

I think it all comes down to logic vs emotion. If both parties had male logic it'd probably be as simple as, i like you, you like me, lets get it on. Sadly if you throw womanly emotion into the mix you get trouble, maybe she thinks she's falling for you too fast, or that she knows you like her and there's no mystery anymore, or you're too available and no fun to chase, etc.

For now just treat it like a game, don't put all your effort or attention into it, have other things going on, and make her know this. If she contacts you then great, set another date at your convenience, if not, then next!

Broken Hope · 1 May 2011 at 18:16

Yeah whilst it should be as simple as you like her, she likes you and just text whenever you damn well like, it doesn't work like that in reality, if you text too much, or too soon you'll get thought of as clingy, or she'll have all the power etc etc, it's stupid.

Neil79 · 1 May 2011 at 18:18

Women, the greatest of wind up merchants thus they screw with your head!

Why can't life be like pigeons, a flash of our wings and we are in a relationship

.Lethal · 1 May 2011 at 18:25

Wow for once I'm going to defend women here.

It isn't women thats the problem here. This girl said SHE will ring you, she took control of the situation and you let her, when I said text her and just ask if your going to meet up or not you decided - no thats to clingy.

Had you taken control in the first place and said "No, I'll contact you tomorrow" you wouldn't be wondering whats going on.

No game, no nothing. This is a lack of confidence and self esteem from your part.

Neil79 · 1 May 2011 at 18:28

Maybe she not have said things she could or would not keep to?

Chris [BEANS] · 1 May 2011 at 18:45

ignore

secretspy · 1 May 2011 at 18:48

Kerplunk said:
Hmmmmm, do girls not like guys who work in IT / computers or something, is their some kind of stigma attached ?

Ive chatted to about 4 or 5 now and as soon as I mention I work in Computers / IT - I never get a reply back

Surely thats not a coincidence? :/

Personally it doesn't bother me. don't see why it should really. :confused:

And what's with all the woman bashing? Guys can be just as bad. Leaning from my previous bad experience with blokes playing games if he says he will text and doesn't then I'm not going to chase him. he could be busy and me texting might seem clingy or it could be a brush off.(I don't get why people do that.)