Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

Status
Not open for further replies.
Theophany said:
I was going to post a glib response to this. Then I thought about it and realised it would be disingenuous to do so.

It may sound pathetic to actually admit it, but human contact is something I am genuinely desperate for. I've gone for far too long without it. My life up until this point has been high school, college, university and London - I can honestly say I have never gone without human contact for the best part of 10 years now. I've always had a member of the opposite sex I could call upon and all of a sudden I am without that and it feels very weird.
Click to expand...

Be more specific, are we talking about sex here or something meaningful? Because the former is rather easy to get and the latter makes you sound like you might have a tad bit of an issue with being alone.

Also whats the deal with "10 years". Your profile suggests you're only 23, so we're talking about not being without a girlfriend (or sex) since 13?

Now I don't mean to be all corney but I fully believe in the idea that you can't truely love someone until you love yourself and that you can't really know yourself without some alone time.

No offense intended, you've just suddenly piqued my interest with those posts.
 
aln said:
I don't know how? You'd have to explain how you've done it. I would find it a bit weird posting in an Internet Dating thread with an ex lurking about though. :P
Click to expand...
I only really started posting in this thread a few years after I realised he'd stopped posting on the forum. I guess he's too busy with his new life to browse this forum now.

arknor said:
apparently if you stuck your hand in a frozen bag of pea for 5minutes then it feels like someone elses :p
Click to expand...
:/
 
I'm not entirely sure that specificity helps in this issue. I have no hang-ups with sex, it's not that it doesn't interest me, it's just not an issue. Though I suppose it is more to do with something meaningful. If I look back honestly, I've had far more emotional involvements with women than physical ones for whatever reason.

So my first experience was at age 13 on a writing course at Ty Newydd in Wales. She was older than me and together we worked very well and from that developed, I suppose, a need that I've had ever since. Some people never got over the death of Phil Lynott or Maggie's resignation - I suppose I never really got over that need for female interaction.

I've been 'alone' in the simplest of terms for over two years now and I'm not necessarily displeased with that. I like being able to come home in the evenings and watch a film I want to watch or spend an hour on the phone to my Mum and Dad. I certainly would rather do any of the above instead of spending my time with a girl who I cannot be bothered with. But I do miss the *I've spent five minutes at this point working out what follows 'the'* 'deeper' interaction (?) with another human being and not necessarily in a physical sense.

Perhaps what I need to find is a soulmate, but saying that sounds really ****ing stupid. And as if I need an oversized cup of man the f up.
 
Theophany said:
I'm not entirely sure that specificity helps in this issue. I have no hang-ups with sex, it's not that it doesn't interest me, it's just not an issue. Though I suppose it is more to do with something meaningful. If I look back honestly, I've had far more emotional involvements with women than physical ones for whatever reason.

So my first experience was at age 13 on a writing course at Ty Newydd in Wales. She was older than me and together we worked very well and from that developed, I suppose, a need that I've had ever since. Some people never got over the death of Phil Lynott or Maggie's resignation - I suppose I never really got over that need for female interaction.

I've been 'alone' in the simplest of terms for over two years now and I'm not necessarily displeased with that. I like being able to come home in the evenings and watch a film I want to watch or spend an hour on the phone to my Mum and Dad. I certainly would rather do any of the above instead of spending my time with a girl who I cannot be bothered with. But I do miss the *I've spent five minutes at this point working out what follows 'the'* 'deeper' interaction (?) with another human being and not necessarily in a physical sense.

Perhaps what I need to find is a soulmate, but saying that sounds really ****ing stupid. And as if I need an oversized cup of man the f up.
Click to expand...

I just miss having someone to tickle :p

*non sexually i should add.
 
Theophany said:
I'm not entirely sure that specificity helps in this issue. I have no hang-ups with sex, it's not that it doesn't interest me, it's just not an issue. Though I suppose it is more to do with something meaningful. If I look back honestly, I've had far more emotional involvements with women than physical ones for whatever reason.

So my first experience was at age 13 on a writing course at Ty Newydd in Wales. She was older than me and together we worked very well and from that developed, I suppose, a need that I've had ever since. Some people never got over the death of Phil Lynott or Maggie's resignation - I suppose I never really got over that need for female interaction.

I've been 'alone' in the simplest of terms for over two years now and I'm not necessarily displeased with that. I like being able to come home in the evenings and watch a film I want to watch or spend an hour on the phone to my Mum and Dad. I certainly would rather do any of the above instead of spending my time with a girl who I cannot be bothered with. But I do miss the *I've spent five minutes at this point working out what follows 'the'* 'deeper' interaction (?) with another human being and not necessarily in a physical sense.

Perhaps what I need to find is a soulmate, but saying that sounds really ****ing stupid. And as if I need an oversized cup of man the f up.
Click to expand...

Naw it's fine, I know what you mean, though I'd never use the latter term. I'd like that deeper connection too, but I've also resigned myself to the fact it might never happen for me and I'm OK with that. I have no interest in settling for anything less and will have a meaningful existence regardless of whether it happens or not.

Theophany said:
I certainly would rather do any of the above instead of spending my time with a girl who I cannot be bothered with.
Click to expand...

I don't have the ability to peer into your mind over the Internet but that and the rest of your post doesn't come across as desperado. May you have better luck than I did. :)


Tefal said:
so whats the best site?
Click to expand...

It will depend on your area but at a rough guess:

  • POF will have the most people but the single to noise ratio will likely be lowest.
  • Match.com - having to pay will level out that SNR. Site is terrible and I'm not sure how to tell if the person I message has paid (you can pay more to let people who haven't paid message you back, but I dislike their system.
  • OKCUPID is somewhere in between the two.

I keep having the recurring thought one could build a much better dating site, but I think POF might have hit critical mass. If your tall & handsome POF might work, both girls who messaged me and had resonable coversations were on OKCUPID.
 
Last edited:
aln said:
Naw it's fine, I know what you mean, though I'd never use the latter term. I'd like that deeper connection too, but I've also resigned myself to the fact it might never happen for me and I'm OK with that. I have no interest in settling for anything less and will have a meaningful existence regardless of whether it happens or not.



I don't have the ability to peer into your mind over the Internet but that and the rest of your post doesn't come across as desperado. May you have better luck than I did. :)
Click to expand...


Theophany said:
I'm frightened of being left alone for the rest of my life. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 23, and I am of that disposition.
Click to expand...

Maybe its just about overcoming a mental hurdle more than anything else. I may feel pathetic, but I've never given up hope, even if I shamelessly paraphrase. :)
 
Theophany said:
Maybe its just about overcoming a mental hurdle more than anything else. I may feel pathetic, but I've never given up hope, even if I shamelessly paraphrase. :)
Click to expand...

The latter quote does come across as slightly more desperate. In my mind lifes pretty good no matter how you live it but then again I've never had a lady that could ever really challenge me, so it's entirely possible I don't know what I'm missing.

That also starts to explain why I tried online dating. I tend to find ditziness attractive in the short term or in small doses. Those feelings have always developed into frustration over an utlimatly unfulfilling relationship.

My desire to find a girly girl seems to be conflict with my desire to find someone I can have meaningful coversations with so I've just sort of come to terms with the fact I may be forever alone but I guess I tried the Internet as an attempt to save me from myself.
 
Last edited:
MisChief said:
O well nevermind. He had bad teeth anyway! :D

I'm on here because.... An ex used to be on here a lot and was always laughing so I thought I'd join in on the fun :p
Click to expand...


Tip : slating an ex, for whatever reason never reflects positively upon you. Every guy who reads or hears that stuff will wonder what you will say about them behind their back IMO.

I had the perfect opportunity to chat up train girl on Friday but bailed. I fail. It happened in my mind but I froze at the prospect of making it reality. :p
 
Last edited:
Theophany said:
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=52499839

Be nice or I'll properly throw a wobbler. ;)
Click to expand...

Please delete that first line! Personal preference (no homo) but declaring online dating is awkward is too awkward for most people to handle therefore BAIL!

Plus make one likeable/interesting picture, all three are a -_- face...

Other than that women should be frothing (again no homo)

Tefal said:
I'm kinda tempted to try this as I'm terrible at meeting people (fine once I'm comfortable with someone but take a while to get there) out and about....well aside from very very strange people.

but i have no idea where to start >.<
Click to expand...

Be your self, even if you think its awkward online trying to explain your self, being your self seems to get more responses than "omg I am amazing sex me up" then meeting in real life and being "hi I'm awkward and from the internet"

MisChief said:
O well nevermind. He had bad teeth anyway! :D
Click to expand...

Reassuring bad teeth are a legit reason to bail on someone! Is having a head shaped like the Alien from Alien also legit?
 
aln said:
The latter quote does come across as slightly more desperate. In my mind lifes pretty good no matter how you live it but then again I've never had a lady that could ever really challenge me, so it's entirely possible I don't know what I'm missing.

That also starts to explain why I tried online dating. I tend to find ditziness attractive in the short term or in small doses. Those feelings have always developed into frustration over an utlimatly unfulfilling relationship.

My desire to find a girly girl seems to be conflict with my desire to find someone I can have meaningful coversations with so I've just sort of come to terms with the fact I may be forever alone but I guess I tried the Internet as an attempt to save me from myself.
Click to expand...

Desperate it may be, but that's honesty for you.

I get what you mean, life isn't bad, but it's that kind of feeling that something is missing? Right? It's funny how those short-term attractive qualities are the same ones that drive you mad in the long run.

We have a weird amount in common! :D
 
pingwing said:
Please delete that first line! Personal preference (no homo) but declaring online dating is awkward is too awkward for most people to handle therefore BAIL!

Plus make one likeable/interesting picture, all three are a -_- face...

Other than that women should be frothing (again no homo)
Click to expand...

Mega homo, why not just trust me your mobile number? ;)

(on a serious note, I shall take your points and make changes accordingly. Thank you.)
 
Theophany said:
Mega homo, why not just trust me your mobile number? ;)

(on a serious note, I shall take your points and make changes accordingly. Thank you.)
Click to expand...

Haha always looking for man dates... :eek: :p

Yeah I might not be the best authority on this but so far it seems talking about the awkwardness of online dating puts off the nice women and everyone needs to know to avoid the mistake :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom