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Well get some new ones if you don't have any you like
hmmmm, maybe ill make myself look presentable tonight, and take a self shot for my main profile picture
Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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hmmmm, maybe ill make myself look presentable tonight, and take a self shot for my main profile picture
Ok firstly, you're a good-looking lad with a good body due to the climbing, so at least we know a lack of replies won't be because of that aspect. My suggestions:
1) Get rid of the second photo (it's a bit of a "special" laugh, doesn't look great) and the one with the cookie monster hat, it looks horrendous. The others are a mix of cool and presentable.
2) Your profile is your weak spot. I read the first line which sounded intelligent and thought it was going to be good, but then it immediately nose-dived into a basic list. There isn't much attention-grabbing about it. Get rid of the "Im only here to make friends at first" part, it's lame as hell. No-one goes on POF to "make friends" unless they literally have no friends in real-life. Just say you're there to meet someone and then see what happens or something.
Also, expand on each point that you list in your likes... what you like (food, movies etc) and why you like it.
There's no depth to the profile at all, and it seems a shame to pair your decent looks and photos with a rubbish profile text when most people generally have the opposite problem.
1) You really thought a topless profile pic was your best photo? Even though you don't (objectively speaking, please don't take offence, I don't really have one either) have any chest to show off? Fix it.
2) Get a shorter and smarter haircut. It's too long and doesn't suit your face and head shape.
3) Lose the comic book Tshirts, you're a grown man.
4) Your profile looks like it was written by a 12-year old. Use a spellchecker at least.
5) Don't refer to yourself as geeky, it's the biggest instant turnoff for most girls.
It's a very poorly written profile if I'm honest (which I always am)... but please take the above criticism as constructive and I'm sure you can make it much better.
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Associate
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1) You really thought a topless profile pic was your best photo? Even though you don't (objectively speaking, please don't take offence, I don't really have one either) have any chest to show off? Fix it.
2) Get a shorter and smarter haircut. It's too long and doesn't suit your face and head shape.
3) Lose the comic book Tshirts, you're a grown man.
4) Your profile looks like it was written by a 12-year old. Use a spellchecker at least.
5) Don't refer to yourself as geeky, it's the biggest instant turnoff for most girls.
It's a very poorly written profile if I'm honest... but please take the above criticism as constructive.
thanks for the feedback.
yeah im starting to regret my profile picture....
ill remove the geekyness from my profile.
how would you reword my profile then? im terrible at writing those things.
scew it....
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=49314448
as long as people leave my profile alone and dont send me messages
What sort of girl are you looking for?
I find your profile quite repetitive, it says you're 19 and work in IT before you get to the About Me section so you've no reason to say it again, I'm bored at the very beginning of your profile because I've read it before. You're playing up the 'geek' thing which I'd say is only going to attract similarly 'geeky' girls so if you're not looking for that then you need to get rid of it.
I feel like I read your profile and I still don't know anything about you that would make me message you. You like football, same as thousands of other people... you like movies, same as thousands of other people... nothing grabs me and makes me want to message you to find out more. I'm not meaning you need to be into something completely out there but you need to make 'normal' a bit more unique to you, why should I message you instead of all the other football and movie loving guys out there?
Photos aren't exactly great, and there's something that niggles my head about you saying you have children but prefer not to say if you want children, but maybe that's just me.
You also need to sort out the grammar and spelling.
I would reword it so that it forms proper sentences, and lose the exclamation marks at the end of every sentence, it's punctuation abuse and visually annoying to read.
Also lose the bit about collecting video game statues unless you want to be foreveralone.jpg. Also the bit about the tiger is a little cheesy and unnecessary.
I only just noticed you are 19 though so still pretty young I guess. However, you're old enough to write properly and to be able to express yourself and your character clearly. Do another version and post it back here for more critique and I'll take another look.
EDIT - You even have "Personality: Geek" on your profile. Jesus.
Don't listen to Richdog, I like that photo for some reason
Are you male or female?
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Associate
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ok, ill sort of those couple of issues.
can you offer any advice on how should i word and structure my profile then?
and as long as the girl isnt crazy or one of these girls that "love that banter, live for weekend".....etc.
Soldato
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scew it....
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=49314448
as long as people leave my profile alone and dont send me messages
remove the first 2 pictures (topless and black and white) as they are doing lots of harm, i mean come on black and white over exposed shows nothing.
i'd edit the wedding photo removing the guy on the right and making it closer so you don't see your hands together looking awkward.
i'd say remove som of the stuff in the about me, however i guess it's who you are and you should be proud of it, even if it'll turn girls away, you'll find the one you match with better by being you. one thing i'd say is remove the below as these things don't show you, they just show what everyone says and are extremely boring, you might as well say you like breathing, everyone does so why mention it, the times to mention stuff like the below is when it's perhaps the opposite and defines you e.g. i don't like meeting new people, i like just me and a girlfriend and no other etc.
I have edited the profile a tad and got rid of the "special" laugh pic. The cookie monster is staying because I have had a few open messages on that pic alone, and I put the pic on there for some humility.
The bullet points have stayed, but with expanded descriptions on them. I thought it best to keep the list simple as most women on there seem simple with no brains anyway
Are you male or female?
Female, although I'll concede that the photo isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea.
I agree with Rich on this, you need to put it into sentences because you need to elaborate and make yourself come across as more interesting.
While I'm at it, I didn't want to bombard you with criticism in my first post, but the bit about watching soaps (as if every girl watches them) and saying the girl can pick the date makes you sound a bit 'wet' to me. There's a difference between being a caveman and someone who'll bend in every direction asked, and personally I take the latter as being you from just those two points that you've written. If anything that probably shows that something quite innocent can be seen as something that will turn someone off.
You need to write to your audience, this profile isn't for you, it's for the girl you're trying to attract. Think about what grabs your attention on their profile and try and apply it to yours.
I thought it best to keep the list simple as most women on there seem simple with no brains anyway
Your pirate joke is going to go so far over their heads.
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I agree the hat isn't to everyone's taste, and I don't wear hats normally. I put it on the mess about for a laugh.
I think to cut a long winded criticism short, you are saying that he should lie to his audience and tell the girls exactly what they want to hear? Nice one!! haha
I think to cut a long winded criticism short, you are saying that he should lie to his audience and tell the girls exactly what they want to hear? Nice one!! haha
So cynical... I prefer to think of it as artistic license
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right i have made some changes to my profile! except the pictures, as im at work.....
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=49314448
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=49314448
I have edited the profile a tad and got rid of the "special" laugh pic. The cookie monster is staying because I have had a few open messages on that pic alone, and I put the pic on there for some humility.
The bullet points have stayed, but with expanded descriptions on them. I thought it best to keep the list simple as most women on there seem simple with no brains anyway
Good changes, it's better now. I still reccommend changing this part though
"I'm on here to initially make friends first, and if anything further happens it will evolve naturally."
It's just not sexy, and for the reasons I listed in my last post. Also, makes you sound like you have no bullets in your gun, so to speak. Lack of mojo.
I think to cut a long winded criticism short, you are saying that he should lie to his audience and tell the girls exactly what they want to hear? Nice one!! haha
Basically, yes. It's been working that way since about 5000BC.
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If you read that, would you message you?
I would write:
That isn't much longer (I get that you don't like writing, so probably better that way) and doesn't really need to be (barring the additions I suggested in brackets about movies, films and sports), but it is worded and ordered much better, and now looks and sounds much more coherent. Plus, it gives a little more insight into your character and now sounds like you're a pretty decent bloke.Hey girls. I'm originally from Birmingham but I moved down to Devon many years ago... though thankfully not much of the old Brummie accent remains!
I like to think of myself as an honest, genuine and fun-loving guy. I am hard-working and career-focussed, and I love my job in IT as I'm always learning new things. I would say one of my main interests is probably technology as it goes hand in hand with my job, but I do have many others; I love music (INSERT FAVOURITE GENRES OR BANDS), films (INSERT FAVOURITE GENRES OR MOVIES), sports (INSERT FAVOURITE SPORTS), graphic design and photography. I’m also a big fan of tattoos, I have two and am proud to say that I designed them both myself, which I guess makes a nice change to your average chinese takeaway symbol or tribal stamp.
Other than that, I enjoy getting out of the house and spending the day out and about somewhere, whether it be some retail therapy or a day at the beach.
I'm looking for a fun and relaxed girl with similar interests, so if you like what you see then go ahead and shoot me a message. Cheers!
FIRST DATE SECTION:
I'm a spontaneous kind of guy and I like to surprise people, but to start with something along the lines of a walk on the beach, drinks in some nice bars, bowling, or anything similar where we can have a laugh and get to know each other.
See how bloody nice I am? Now get a decent haircut and start dressing up a bit.
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Hey girls. I'm originally from Birmingham but I moved down to Devon many years ago... though thankfully not much of the old Brummie accent remains!
I like to think of myself as an honest, genuine and fun-loving guy. I am hard-working and career-focussed, and I love my job in IT as I'm always learning new things. I would say one of my main interests is probably technology as it goes hand in hand with my job, but I have many others. I love music (INSERT FAVOURITE GENRES OR BANDS), films (INSERT FAVOURITE GENRES OR MOVIES), sports (INSERT FAVOURITE SPORTS), graphic design and photography. I’m also a big fan of tattoos, I have two and am proud to say that I designed them both myself, which I guess makes a nice change to your average chinese takeaway symbol or tribal stamp.
Other than that, I enjoy getting out of the house and spending the day out and about somewhere, whether it be some retail therapy or a day at the beach.
I'm looking for a fun and relaxed girl with similar interests, so if you like what you see then go ahead and shoot me a message. Cheers!
Put in bold the bits I'd delete (mostly because they could come across as immodest or CV like, or lacking in ALPHA bro), put the good bits in italic (as they are light, jokey & original).
I like to think of myself as an honest, genuine and fun-loving guy. I am hard-working and career-focussed, and I love my job in IT as I'm always learning new things. I would say one of my main interests is probably technology as it goes hand in hand with my job, but I have many others. I love music (INSERT FAVOURITE GENRES OR BANDS), films (INSERT FAVOURITE GENRES OR MOVIES), sports (INSERT FAVOURITE SPORTS), graphic design and photography. I’m also a big fan of tattoos, I have two and am proud to say that I designed them both myself, which I guess makes a nice change to your average chinese takeaway symbol or tribal stamp.
Other than that, I enjoy getting out of the house and spending the day out and about somewhere, whether it be some retail therapy or a day at the beach.
I'm looking for a fun and relaxed girl with similar interests, so if you like what you see then go ahead and shoot me a message. Cheers!
Put in bold the bits I'd delete (mostly because they could come across as immodest or CV like, or lacking in ALPHA bro), put the good bits in italic (as they are light, jokey & original).
I have to say that really doesn't make much sense to me, but I guess he can make his own mind up which he prefers.
I agree the hat isn't to everyone's taste, and I don't wear hats normally. I put it on the mess about for a laugh.
I think to cut a long winded criticism short, you are saying that he should lie to his audience and tell the girls exactly what they want to hear? Nice one!! haha
Personally I think the hat picture is the best one. The rest all look a bit too serious and you'd be doing yourself a disservice if you lose it. No homo btw.
Also you don't need to lie but its possible you come across a bit thick.
Education Some university
Personality Athletic
Profession Sales
Theres nothing really intellectual on your profile. I think it's mostly good but add something you do with your brain. I don't think you need to lie to fix that though, as you profile is written well enough.
You probably shouldn't listen to me though.
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richdog......your awesome!!! thanks a lot! there are nice people in the world! haha
ill use what youve put and insert the sections
there are nice people in the world! hahaill use what youve put and insert the sections
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