Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

[regulus]

Sounds like a crisis of confidence.

@regulus: Perhaps she wants to know you "like" her as much as she "likes" you! Either way, they're games and the lack of communication is immature.

It's a bit difficult having communication if it's one sided, won't you say? She actually sent me a text last night saying she's in a 'pulling club' or 'cattle market' or something like that, but said not to worry as she'll 'behave'. I simply text back telling her to 'have fun' and left it at that. She then sent me a text (that I got this morning when I got up) around 4am saying that they met up with a group of guys but that she's 'still behaving'.

It doesn't actually bother me as I now know she's taking the **** and trying to either wind me up or make me jealous, not sure which. Such a damn shame as I KNOW there's a decent and loyal girl in there. I guess I just don't bring it out in her.

C'est la vie.

This relationship has become a dog and needs to be taken out the back and shot.

 

[Immsy]

It's a bit difficult having communication if it's one sided, won't you say? She actually sent me a text last night saying she's in a 'pulling club' or 'cattle market' or something like that, but said not to worry as she'll 'behave'. I simply text back telling her to 'have fun' and left it at that. She then sent me a text (that I got this morning when I got up) around 4am saying that they met up with a group of guys but that she's 'still behaving'.

It doesn't actually bother me as I now know she's taking the **** and trying to either wind me up or make me jealous, not sure which. Such a damn shame as I KNOW there's a decent and loyal girl in there. I guess I just don't bring it out in her.

C'est la vie.

This relationship has become a dog and needs to be taken out the back and shot.

Evil mind games, cant stand women that pull that lark.

 

[regulus]

Evil mind games, cant stand women that pull that lark.

I know. Luckily I'm not 'in too deep' (well I was many times, but that's not relevant here ) so I can still just about laugh this off without hurting. If texting her becomes a strategic move that I need to think through for an hour first, looking at my words from every angle so it doesn't get misconstrued, then it's time to jack this in. Everything has become a mind game while my 2 offers for proper dialogue has been ignored.

Anyway, I'm back online and talking to a pretty Swiss girl. If I'm lucky, I might just get to take 'Heidi' out for a drink tomorrow night

 

[ChroniC]

Well I guess that depends how good looking you are

I used to think this 'meet me' thing was annoying, but it actually works now. Most of he guys I clicked 'yes' to have actually viewed my profile and sent me a message. Can't say the same applies to women though, as I ignore all of my 'meet me' notifications

You get 2 messages a day? Good god! I haven't even received a single message from a girl on there and I've signed up for 2 months now, I've only had 1 reply from a girl who I've sent a message too, what's your secret?

I get a lot of messages saying, "Hi, you sound like a really nice guy" so I'm wondering if what I wrote appeals also.
I also wonder if Portsmouth is just a bad place for girls to meet guys, I can assure you there are a fair amount of ***** here
I don't want to sound like I'm great looking, if anything I would say I'm maybe average/slightly above average, so I don't know if that's why.
Here my email list at the moment, as I don't want to seem dishonest.

I would say if I had a secret it would be to choose your pictures carefully, as I don't think anyone reads a profile before seeing your pics. Look smart, don't pick to many night out facebook pictures, have something interesting in them maybe, and have them fairly close up. I hate looking at blurry far away pictures, unless I'm trying to work out a general shape.
Also get the android app if you can, or leave yourself logged in a lot. I seem to get more messages when its just online, maybe I appear in those little boxes and girls see it.

//// on another note, I see people are available to chat and some people arent. Yet I cannot see a chat function on mine. I can click on people and chat too them, but how do I know if I'm avalibale for chat or not. Is there a way to turn it on and off or log into it?

 

[regulus]

Agreed Chronic, it's literally ALL about the pics and anyone telling you otherwise is lying to you or lying to themselves. Look at the link Mischief posted about the 'Specsavers' guy. His profile is good, he can spell, didn't crit you with a wall of text, he's ambitious, educated, seems well spoken, doesn't seem needy, full head of hair p)etc, yet the pics make him look like a gay librarian, hence he got shoved onto the pile.

For me it's about the pics too, I cannot date you if I don't feel attracted to you. She 'may' be able to convince me otherwise if I actually met her face to face but with the pics not working for me, it's unlikely we'll meet in the first place.

A few months ago I got a lovely email from a lady on Match. Her grammar was dazzling, her prose witty, sentences pointed towards what I presented in my profile so it weren't a 'cut and paste' job. She was a professional musician and led a very interesting life. Sadly when I looked at her pics, nothing she said mattered any more.

Such a cruel world

 

[Mike B]

Women that lead you on. *rolleyes*

Seriously

 

[[TW]Fox]

Long distance doesn't work

Absolutely rubbish. It works but only if both of you are committed enough.

 

[regulus]

Absolutely rubbish. It works but only if both of you are committed enough.

For how long though?

 

[Rich_L]

Well I did 'long-distance' from the US to the UK for 2.5 years and now coming up to our 2nd wedding anniversary

Basically for it to work you have to both be ridiculously awesome, as any chinks or flaws in the relationship are magnified a billion-fold to the power of the distance.

 

[Mike B]

Well I did 'long-distance' from the US to the UK for 2.5 years and now coming up to our 2nd wedding anniversary

Basically for it to work you have to both be ridiculously awesome, as any chinks or flaws in the relationship are magnified a billion-fold to the power of the distance.

You must have an OPEN relationship?

 

[Yas786]

Absolutely rubbish. It works but only if both of you are committed enough.

Indeed but both people need to go into it with an open and clear conscience.

For how long though?

Well that depends on the both of you doesnt it??...i was with a girl for 3 yrs and she lived up north, Leeds area but i used to go up every 2 weeks and she would come down the other 2 weeks so i was seeing her about 4 times a month which worked fine till we decided to split up for various reasons.

 

[Richdog]

Absolutely rubbish. It works but only if both of you are committed enough.

Only if there is a clear end/goal in sight. However most times it fizzles and dies... had many friends who have tried it, thought they were committed, only to end in tears. Relationships need regular physical contact to work, and it takes an extraordinarily dedicated set of minds to make it work when that is lacking imo.

 

[Neil79]

Damn it

Spoke to this girl got on really well, liked her writing style and i felt a tiny spark . 24hrs later, i get a reply. I reply back, 36hrs later she replies, I reply and basically say what i'm doing would she like to come with me. Message READ, hasn't been on POF since.

Last message was wednesday

 

[DJMK4]

I was using POF which for ages I was just getting NO REPLIES or no girls even contacting me, but I decided to see whats on the iphone, app called badoo and one called SKOUT, was also chatting to an asian girl last night. Thats the one girl.

Second girl is pretty hot! she contacted me! I have a phone number and texting to quite a good looking girl! runs her own shop.

POF is dead to me now

 

[Ed]

It's a bit difficult having communication if it's one sided, won't you say?

I meant to imply her lack of communication

In my experience, most are "fishing" (clue's in the name) and unless you seriously rings someone's bell 85% visually, 15% with your profile then you won't get anything from it. I've had great communication until things get personal and they realise you don't have a 5-bed house in the country or an internet penis.

Anyway, the best connections are made in person. If two people visually connect, they'll connect. If there's an environmental factor in common such as kids, dogs, hobby etc then it really does go from there.

Hate to say it but y'all need to get out more. Expect nothing from PoF but if something does come from it; bonus.

 

[Mike B]

I meant to imply her lack of communication

In my experience, most are "fishing" (clue's in the name) and unless you seriously rings someone's bell 85% visually, 15% with your profile then you won't get anything from it. I've had great communication until things get personal and they realise you don't have a 5-bed house in the country or an internet penis.

Anyway, the best connections are made in person. If two people visually connect, they'll connect. If there's an environmental factor in common such as kids, dogs, hobby etc then it really does go from there.

Hate to say it but y'all need to get out more. Expect nothing from PoF but if something does come from it; bonus.

Whats this "internet penis" you speak of? :|

 

[bainbridge]

Just been out on a date from a perfect match on match.com. She lives in a another town but we are within an hour of each other. She is Taiwanese & I'm a white English man.

She offered to meet up when she passed through Bristol today with her friend, we seemed to get on well & were laughing & joking around, after about an hour I was going to call it a day but she suggested food. So we went for a meal (she wanted to go halves but I insisted on paying) & everything seemed to be going well until she suddenly said "So why do you want to go out with an asian?" I replied she was supposed to be a perfect match & her ethnicity didn't make any difference to me, should it?

She said some English men had been racist towards her, I asked her if she'd prefer to meet men from her own ethnicity & she quickly said no, so I asked why should it be any different the other way around? She didn't answer.

The mood appeared to sour somewhat, I no longer felt like joking around with her, whatever spark that was there was out, so I just answered her questions & we left it at that, I took her back to link up with her friend again.

Anyway, I have a nagging feeling I did something wrong but after a bit of date analysis my conclusion is I showed myself in a good light & acted natuarally, my only mistake was letting the date drag on, we should have just met for coffee & left it at that. Having said that maybe the outcome would have been the same after the second date, it's academic now.

If I have to go through I few fruitcakes to get to the peach then so be it!

 

[Brumboy]

I was using POF which for ages I was just getting NO REPLIES or no girls even contacting me, but I decided to see whats on the iphone, app called badoo and one called SKOUT, was also chatting to an asian girl last night. Thats the one girl.

Second girl is pretty hot! she contacted me! I have a phone number and texting to quite a good looking girl! runs her own shop.

POF is dead to me now

Do you have to pay for those sites? I remember reading about Badoo somewhere. Is it good or what?

 

[Ed]

Whats this "internet penis" you speak of? :|

Let's not have this discussion, Mike. Not really my cup of tea if you know what I mean. Each to their own though.

 

[Ed]

Just been out on a date from a perfect match on match.com. She lives in a another town but we are within an hour of each other. She is Taiwanese & I'm a white English man.

She offered to meet up when she passed through Bristol today with her friend, we seemed to get on well & were laughing & joking around, after about an hour I was going to call it a day but she suggested food. So we went for a meal (she wanted to go halves but I insisted on paying) & everything seemed to be going well until she suddenly said "So why do you want to go out with an asian?" I replied she was supposed to be a perfect match & her ethnicity didn't make any difference to me, should it?

She said some English men had been racist towards her, I asked her if she'd prefer to meet men from her own ethnicity & she quickly said no, so I asked why should it be any different the other way around? She didn't answer.

The mood appeared to sour somewhat, I no longer felt like joking around with her, whatever spark that was there was out, so I just answered her questions & we left it at that, I took her back to link up with her friend again.

Anyway, I have a nagging feeling I did something wrong but after a bit of date analysis my conclusion is I showed myself in a good light & acted natuarally, my only mistake was letting the date drag on, we should have just met for coffee & left it at that. Having said that maybe the outcome would have been the same after the second date, it's academic now.

If I have to go through I few fruitcakes to get to the peach then so be it!

Sounds like she's racially sensitive but when asked to justify it, can't.

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