Yup, I send the odd message to people, light hearted etc few references to their profile nothing heavy.
Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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Yup, I send the odd message to people, light hearted etc few references to their profile nothing heavy.
sometimes its worth being plain cheeky, as not going down the obvious route of trying to shower them compliments, showing you have read their profile and are pretending that you are interested in their make up and shopping habits, bla bla, like the 100 previous messages from other "nice" blokes have sent,
im not talking about being plain rude, but if you have a sense of humour you dont need to tell them that, say something funny instead, or try to have some banter about anything odd in their profile, if their profile is rubbish i normally tell them, i tend to just write as if im speaking to a mate in the way i approach my messages, we all get blown out though its part of the process
Im not a fan of mailbombing just anyone, im too picky to spam people, but a short message that shows you have taken a bit of time to read the profile, that is lighthearted and has some humour in it, and a little bit of banter might just help get a reply,
Women are just as picky in the looks department, they just hate to admit it, so if you dont meet whatever picture they have in their head regarding looks, you could write the nicest message in the world and still not get a reply, So dont bother writing an essay for a first message, short and sweet with banter, and leave it at that, show enough interest , but dont declare undying love to someone you dont really know at all yet.
i have to say i noted someone mentioned okcupid so i gave it a whirl, and i have to say it seems to attract a slightly more intelligent crowd than pof, definitly much less choice, but there are some nice ladies on there and a lot higher reply rate
oh and badoo is just plain awkward to use, 1 messaged 1 girl and shes turns out to be really nice so havent ventured into looking much further into it yet, all the super powers things just get on my proverbials though.
im not talking about being plain rude, but if you have a sense of humour you dont need to tell them that, say something funny instead, or try to have some banter about anything odd in their profile, if their profile is rubbish i normally tell them, i tend to just write as if im speaking to a mate in the way i approach my messages, we all get blown out though its part of the process
Im not a fan of mailbombing just anyone, im too picky to spam people, but a short message that shows you have taken a bit of time to read the profile, that is lighthearted and has some humour in it, and a little bit of banter might just help get a reply,
Women are just as picky in the looks department, they just hate to admit it, so if you dont meet whatever picture they have in their head regarding looks, you could write the nicest message in the world and still not get a reply, So dont bother writing an essay for a first message, short and sweet with banter, and leave it at that, show enough interest , but dont declare undying love to someone you dont really know at all yet.
i have to say i noted someone mentioned okcupid so i gave it a whirl, and i have to say it seems to attract a slightly more intelligent crowd than pof, definitly much less choice, but there are some nice ladies on there and a lot higher reply rate
oh and badoo is just plain awkward to use, 1 messaged 1 girl and shes turns out to be really nice so havent ventured into looking much further into it yet, all the super powers things just get on my proverbials though.
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after the last girl i dated turned into a friendship (which is pretty sweet), I figured it was time to send more messages.
I've sent out 4 now and had zero responses, so demoralising! Onwards and upwards.
I find it difficult to be plain cheeky to a stranger unless i'm inebriated and we all know, browsing the internet whilst you're steaming drunk is NOT a good idea (i bought a headcrab hat once!)
I write a little about their profile, show some interest in their tastes and i'm plain old me. Maybe I've been excessive with my pictures and need to photoshop myself to look like brad pitt instead of pitbull.
I've sent out 4 now and had zero responses, so demoralising! Onwards and upwards.
I find it difficult to be plain cheeky to a stranger unless i'm inebriated and we all know, browsing the internet whilst you're steaming drunk is NOT a good idea (i bought a headcrab hat once!)
I write a little about their profile, show some interest in their tastes and i'm plain old me. Maybe I've been excessive with my pictures and need to photoshop myself to look like brad pitt instead of pitbull.
Soldato
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Soldato
- Joined
- 25 Mar 2003
- Posts
- 5,776
- Location
- Birmingham
i wouldnt underestimate the power of a photo either, i struggled to find "good photos of me" im still not happy with them as im quite self critical, but the power of a happy smily photo does have quite an effect even if its just 1 photo, then i can resume looking stern on the rest
On the flipside if i see someone looking like a miserable cow immediately im thinking they must be perceptions are hard not to make online and very quickly
On the flipside if i see someone looking like a miserable cow immediately im thinking they must be
perceptions are hard not to make online and very quickly 
Soldato
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odd thing is plenty of fish - has never once shown me any success. maybe i'm doing it wrong...
On another site - i've met one girl who was nice but we didn't click and i'm hopefully meeting another this weekend. i joined it for a £1..... cancelled my membership now....
On another site - i've met one girl who was nice but we didn't click and i'm hopefully meeting another this weekend. i joined it for a £1..... cancelled my membership now....
i think you have to get yourself in the mindset of finding the ones you see an attraction to, sending a short message, and then not focus too much about it, theres a 1000 and 1 reasons why someone might not reply and its not always dependant on your ugly mug or profile.
Took me a while to realise, theres a lot of competition, and people might already have dates lined up and simply not want to add any more people into the equation, i struggle keeping up with 2, 3 is about my limit, but the sooner you get into the mindset that not getting a reply is like water off a ducks back and take the whole thing a bit more relaxed, a reply is a bonus.
Theres a definite balalnce to be forund between putting in some effort into a message, not spamming generic 1 liners, and writing an essay and sounding way too keen over someone you dont know yet, women are fairly easy to talk to if you come across sounding "normal , upbeat and not too desperate"
ive sent lots of individual messages without a sniff of a reply, then had days when several reply in a row, along with women initiating conversations, it really can be hit and miss and if you let it , can make you start to question yourself a bit, done that phase already
Took me a while to realise, theres a lot of competition, and people might already have dates lined up and simply not want to add any more people into the equation, i struggle keeping up with 2, 3 is about my limit, but the sooner you get into the mindset that not getting a reply is like water off a ducks back and take the whole thing a bit more relaxed, a reply is a bonus.
Theres a definite balalnce to be forund between putting in some effort into a message, not spamming generic 1 liners, and writing an essay and sounding way too keen over someone you dont know yet, women are fairly easy to talk to if you come across sounding "normal , upbeat and not too desperate
"ive sent lots of individual messages without a sniff of a reply, then had days when several reply in a row, along with women initiating conversations, it really can be hit and miss and if you let it , can make you start to question yourself a bit, done that phase already
Well I had a really good day Wednesday, went to a rock climbing center in Manchester, did better than I expected so I didn't show myself up completely but was really nice, she seems really nice as well.
Bit expensive and lengthy train journey though, I don't really mind as I can do some mini study and listen to music, it's always the other person as I've had 2 people bail out on me because of a relatively "long distance".
One more chance can't hurt (hopefully), otherwise anyone outside my area I'm not going to bother with.
Bit expensive and lengthy train journey though, I don't really mind as I can do some mini study and listen to music, it's always the other person as I've had 2 people bail out on me because of a relatively "long distance".
One more chance can't hurt (hopefully), otherwise anyone outside my area I'm not going to bother with.
Doesn't sound especially like a date on that description....
He told me we can go where I wanna go.
But I'm awful at making decisions so he's surprising me.
He told me we can go where I wanna go.
But I'm awful at making decisions so he's surprising me.
sounds terrifying!Why do I live such a dull life, I was taken rock climbing and I'm now expected to think of something.. afternoon, with only public transport in a boring city with hardly any money.. don't know why I just didn't close my profile
PICNIC!!!
Started talking to this girl from POF about 2 months ago. Talked a lot for about a week. Then she said she thinks it's weird so asked to stop talking. 2 weeks later out of nowhere she says she's been thinking about it and realises she's being silly about it and wants to start talking. 3 days later we meet for a date. It goes great, we talk for about 3 hours in Starbucks then go to the cinema, then we kissed and said goodbye. Few days later she comes round mine for a few hours. She then comes the following day and stays the night, I cook her dinner ect.
We decide to make it official and be together. We see eachother 3 times a week for 3 weeks, have a lot of good time together. Then last Wed out of nowhere she breaks up with me saying she's not ready for a relationship. Was a bit shocked and hurt as I was developing strong feelings for her. We meet up a few days after she broke up with me to discuss and clear the air. She starts cuddling and hugging me like normal. The evening goes rather well despite the fact she broke up with me. Then yesterday (about a week after she broke up with me). She says she doesn't want to be friends and she wants us both to forget eachother and move on. Now she has blocked me on facebook and wants us to stop talking completely!
Still a bit shocked but oh well life goes on I guess! Women are far too complicated..
We decide to make it official and be together. We see eachother 3 times a week for 3 weeks, have a lot of good time together. Then last Wed out of nowhere she breaks up with me saying she's not ready for a relationship. Was a bit shocked and hurt as I was developing strong feelings for her. We meet up a few days after she broke up with me to discuss and clear the air. She starts cuddling and hugging me like normal. The evening goes rather well despite the fact she broke up with me. Then yesterday (about a week after she broke up with me). She says she doesn't want to be friends and she wants us both to forget eachother and move on. Now she has blocked me on facebook and wants us to stop talking completely!
Still a bit shocked but oh well life goes on I guess! Women are far too complicated..
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